The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 16/A Consultation of Physicians

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The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16
(c. 1699–1736)
by Jonathan Swift, edited by Thomas Sheridan, John Nichols, John Boyle, Patrick Delany, John Hawkesworth, Deane Swift, William Bowyer, John Birch, and George Faulkner

A Consultation of Physicians

A Love Song

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1655370The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16
— A Consultation of Physiciansc. 1699-1736Jonathan Swift

TRIFLES.

Consultation of Four Physicians upon a Lord that was dying^[1].

First Doctor.

IS his Honor sic? Præ lætus felis pulse. It do es beat veris loto de.

Second Doctor. No notis as qui cassi e ver fel tu metri it. Inde edit is as fastas an alarum, ora fire bellat nite.

Third Doctor. It is veri hei!

Fourth Doctor. Noto contra dictu in my juge mentitis veri loto de. Itis as orto maladi sum callet. [Here e ver id octo reti resto a par lori na mel an coli post ure.]

First Doctor. It is a me gri mas I opi ne.

Second Doctor. No docto rite quit fora quin si. Heris a plane sim tomo fit. Sorites Para celsus; Præ re adit.

First Doctor. Nono Doctor I ne ver quo te aqua casu do.

Second Doctor. Sum arso: Mi autoris no ne.

Third Doctor. No quare lingat præ senti de si re-His honor is sic offa Colli casure as I sit here.

Fourth Doctor. It is æther an atro phi ora colli casu sed: Ire membri re ad it in Doctor me ades Esse, here itis.

Third Doctor. I ne ver re ad apage in it, no re ver in tendit.

Second Doctor. Fer ne is offa qui te di ferent noti o nas i here.

First Doctor. Notis ab ludi fluxit is veri plene.

Second Doctor. I fitis a fluxit me re qui re ac lis ter.

Third Doctor. I a ver his casis venere alas i disco ver edit in as hanc cor; an da poli pus in his nosce. An di fit be as I cetis, ago no rea me en sue.

First Doctor. It is ad ange rus casas ani.

Fourth Doctor. I mus tellure alitis ago uti humor in his Bel li. Hi sto macto is empti.

First Doctor. It me bea pluri si; avo melis veri pro per fora manat his age.

Second Doctor. Ure par donat præsenti des ire; His dis eas is a cata ride clare it.

Third Doctor. Atlas tume findit as tone in his quid ni es.

Fourth Doctor. Itis ale pro si fora uti se. Præ hos his a poti cari; cantu tellus? Ab lis ter me bene cessa risum de cens. Itis as ure medi in manicas es.

Third Doctor. I findit isto late tot hinc offa reme di; fori here his Honor is De ad.

Second Doctor. His ti meis cum.

First Doctor. Is it trudo ut hinc?

Fourth Doctor. It is veri certa in. His Paris his Belli sto ringo ut foris de partu re.

Third Doctor. Næ, i fis Ecce lens is de ad lætus en dum apri esto præ foris sole. His Honor has bina Cato liquor a de isti here.

First Doctor. Alor dis sum times as tingi as an usu reris.

Second Doctor. Api stolis alligo time a verbi mi at endans for a forte nite.

Third Doctor. O mei ne vera tendo na nil ordinis sic nes ani more.

Fourth Doctor. Api stolis ne a quin in a nil ordo fis qua liti; sum pes fore times more. It istos mala fito a Doctor o fis hic.

Second Doctor. Lætus paco fitis time.

First Doctor. Abigo ditis hi time, in de editis, forus alto fallas campe ringo fas fastas arato ut offa da iri; fori fera bea tinge veri minute; bimi solido. His lac quis, an das turdis aussi sto ut valet is re di forus.

Second Doctor. Ali feris ab ast in a do; fori here ano is at adis stans.

↑ As Swift did not partake of the usual amusements of the world, for recreation, he indulged himself in various sports and whims of fancy. Among others he was fond of a new species of composition, which consisted all of Latin words, but by allowing for false spelling, and running the words into each other, the sentences would contain good sense in English. It was thought some specimens of this singular mode of writing would not be unacceptable to the reader. I shall here point out, in the two first sentences, the manner in which they are to be read into English.

First Doctor.

Is his honour sick? Pray let us feel his pulse. It does beat very slow to day.
Second Doctor. No no 'tis as quick as I ever felt; you may try it. Indeed it is as fast as an alarum, or a fire bell at night, &c.

[1] As Swift did not partake of the usual amusements of the world, for recreation, he indulged himself in various sports and whims of fancy. Among others he was fond of a new species of composition, which consisted all of Latin words, but by allowing for false spelling, and running the words into each other, the sentences would contain good sense in English. It was thought some specimens of this singular mode of writing would not be unacceptable to the reader. I shall here point out, in the two first sentences, the manner in which they are to be read into English.

First Doctor.

Is his honour sick? Pray let us feel his pulse. It does beat very slow to day.
Second Doctor. No no 'tis as quick as I ever felt; you may try it. Indeed it is as fast as an alarum, or a fire bell at night, &c.

[1]