Wonderful magazine of strange adventures, singular occurrences, and remarkable incidents

CHEAP TRACTS No. 3.

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A

Wonderful Magazine

OF

STRANGE ADVENTURES,

SINGULAR OCCURRENCES, AND REMARKABLE INCIDENTS.

DUNFERMLINE:
PRINTED AND SOLD BY JOHN MILLER.

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1828.

Wonderful Magazine.
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HORRIBLE ADVENTURE.

At the period when Murat was about to invade Sicily, the Chevalier R----, Paymaster-General of the Neapolitan forces, was travelling through Calabria for the purpose of joining the army, having been to Naples to make arrangements for the transmission of a quantity of specie. He had sent on his servant before him, to prepare his quarters at the town of -----, expecting to arrive there himself by night-fall; but, the day being very sultry, he had loitered on the road, and, at nine o’clock in the evening, found that he was still at a considerable distance from the proposed end of his journey. He was so much harassed and fatigued that he determined to put up for the night at the first convenient house. He at length entered an old romantic building on the road-side, inhabited by a man and a wife, the former a stout muscular figure, with a swarthy countenance almost wholly shrouded in a mass of bushy whiskers and mustachoes. The traveller was received with civility; and, after partaking of a hearty supper, was conducted, up a crazy old staircase, to his apartment for the night. Not much fancying the appearance of the place, and finding no lock upon his door, he fixed a chair behind it; and, after priming his pistols, put them carefully under his pillow. He had not been long in bed when he heard a noise below, as of persons entering the house; and, some time afterwards, was alarmed by the sound of a man’s footsteps on the staircase. He then perceived a light through the crevice of the door, against which the man gently pressed for admittance, but finding some resistance, he thrust it open sufficiently to admit his hand, and with extreme caution removed the chair and entered the apartment.

The Chevalier then saw his host, with a lamp in one hand and a huge knife in the other, approaching the bed on tiptoe. The Chevalier ⟨cocked⟩ his pistols beneath the bed-clothes, that ⟨the⟩ noise of the spring might not be heard. When the man reached the side of the bed, he ⟨held⟩ the light to the Chevalier’s face, who pretended to be in a profound sleep, but contrived ⟨nevertheless⟩ to steal an occasional glance at his ⟨fearful⟩ host. The man soon turned from him, ⟨and⟩, after hanging the lamp on the bed-post, went to the other end of the room and brought ⟨to⟩ the bedside a chair, on which he immediately ⟨mounted⟩, with the tremendous knife still in his ⟨hand⟩. At the very moment that the Chevalier ⟨was⟩ about to start up from the bed and shoot ⟨him⟩, the man, in hurried manner, cut several ⟨enormous⟩ slices from a piece of bacon that was hanging over his bedstead, though it had been wholly unnoticed before by the agitated traveller. The host then passed the light before his eyes again, and left the room in the same cautious way in which he had entered it, and, unconscious of the danger he had escaped, returned to a crowd of new and hungry guests below stairs, who were, of course, not very sorrow to perceive that he had SAVED HIS BACON.

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SEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS ACCIDENTALLY FOUND.

Some time ago, two gentlemen, who had been left executors to the will of a friend, on examining the property left by the testator, found they could not discharge the legacies by some hundreds of pounds; astonished at this circumstance, as the deceased had frequently informed them he would leave more than sufficient for that purpose, they made the most diligent search among his papers, &c. and found a scrap of paper, on which was written "seven hundred pounds in Till." This they took in the literary sense of it, but as their friend had never been in trade, they thought it singular he should keep such a sum of money in a till; however, they examined all the apartments carefully, but in vain, and after repeated attempts to discover it gave over the search. They sold his collection of books to an eminent bookseller, and paid the legacies in proportion. The singularity of the circumstance occasioned them frequently to converse about it, and they recollected among the books sold there was a folio edition of Tillotson's Sermons. The probability of this being what was alluded to by the word "Till" on the piece of paper, made one of them immediately wait upon the bookseller who had purchased the books, and ask him if he had the edition of Tiilotson which had been among the books sold to him? On his reply in the affirmative, and the volumes being handed down, the gentleman immediately purchased them, and on examining the leaves found bank notes singularly dispersed in various parts of the volumes, to the amount of £700! But what is perhaps no less remarkable, the bookseller informed him that a gentleman at Oxford, reading in his catalogue of this edition, had written to him and desired it might be sent to him, which was accordingly done, but the binding of the books not meeting with the gentleman's approbation, they had been returned, and laid upon his (the bookseller's) shelves until the day the notes were found.

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FATAL EFFECTS OF EXTRAORDINARY JOY.

In the year 1797 when a stagnation took place, owing to the war with France, a young man in Dunfermline, a flax-dresser, entered his Majesty's navy at Bo'ness. Upon his arrival at Spithead, he happened to be put on board the ship of Admiral Cochrane, a brave and generous commander. The Admiral, from some cause or other, took a liking to the young man, and exalted him step by step, till at last he was promoted to be prize-master of the fleet. In this situation he accumulated £60,000. This sum was transmitted to Edinburgh, and deposited in the royal Bank of Scotland. At the same time the flax-dresser wrote to his former employers in Dunfermline, to desire his father to purchase an estate to the amount of the above sum, and as near to his native place as possible. The old man was sent for, and too hastily acquainted with the affluent circumstances of his son. The effect was fatal. The sudden tide of joy rushed with such impetuosity upon him that he stood motionless : his eyes expanded, his nostrils dilated, his mouth wide open, like the picture of horror. At last he fell insensible upon the floor, never spoke more, and expired in the course of a few days.

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TERROR OF a CITY.

In the year 1750, the city of London was greatly alarmed by two terrible shocks of an earthquake, which happened precisely within a month of each other. This unusual visitation filled the minds of the affrighted inhabitants with the greatest dismay and apprehension of another periodical shock, still more destructive than the first. This notion was propagated among all ranks of people, by a fanatic soldier, who preached up repentance, and boldly prophesied that the next shock would take place precisely a month from the last, and totally destroy the cities of London and Westminister. "The churches," says Smollet, "were now crowded with penitent sinners: the sons of riot and profligacy were overawed into sobriety and decorum. The streets no longer resounded with execrations, or the noise of brutal licentiousness; and the hand of charity was liberally opened. Many who, in the beginning, combated these groundless fears with the weapons of scorn and ridicule, began insensibly to imbibe the contagion, and felt their hearts fail in proportion as the danger approached: even science and philosophy were not proof against the unaccountable effects of this communication. In the evening preceding the expected visitation, the open fields that skirt the metropolis were filled with an incredible number of people, awaiting, in fearful suspence, the fulfillment of this fearful event!"

A few years ago, one Brothers predicted in London that the world was to end with the year 1799 which grave prophecy many respectable men seriously believed, among whom was a certain member of parliament, who, strange to tell, strenuously defended this fanatic and his doctrines! Very lately, too, we heard of a poor man being shot dead by a person in London, who mistook him for a ghost, that had for some time past been terrifying, chasing, and beating the good people of Hammersmith! Honest John Bull is steady and brave against his enemies; while a ghost, a conjurer, or a prophesier, shall make him an arrant coward and simpleton.

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SEVERE WINTER OF 1740.

DURING the greatest part of this winter, the poor had been grievously afflicted in consequence of a severe frost, which began at Christmas, and continued till the latter end of February. The river Thames was covered with such a crust of ice, that a multitude of people dwelled upon it in tents, and a great number of booths were erected for the entertainment of the populace. The navigation was entirely stopped; the watermen and fishermen were disabled from earning a livelihood; the fruits of the earth were destroyed by the cold, which was so extreme, that many persons were chilled to death; and this calamity was the more deeply felt, as the poor could not afford to supply themselves with coals and fuel, which were advanced in price, in proportion to the severity and continuance of the frost. The lower classes of labourers, who worked in the open air, were now deprived of all means of subsistence; many kinds of manufacture were laid aside, because it was found impracticable to carry them on. The price of all sorts of provisions rose almost to a dearth: even water was sold in the streets of London.

In this season of distress, many wretched families must have perished by cold and hunger, had not those of opulent fortunes been inspired with a remarkable spirit of compassion and humanity. Nothing can redound more to the honour of the English nation, than did those instances of benevolence and well-conducted charity which were then exhibited.

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A SHOWER OF HERRINGS.

A remarkable, though not unprecedented, occurance, happened on Monday last in the neighbouring county of Ross. As Major Forbes Mackenzie of Fodderty, in Strathpeffer, was traversing a field on his farm, he was not a little surprised to find a considerable portion of the ground covered with herring fry, of from three to four inches in length. The fish were fresh and entire, and had no appearance of being dropt by birds—a medium by which they must have been bruised and mutilated. The only rational conjecture that can be formed of the circumstance is that the fish were transported thither on a wate-spout—a phenomenon that has before occurred in this country, and which is by no means uncommon in tropical climates. The Frith of Dingwall lies at the distance of three miles from the place in question; but no obstruction occurs between the field and the sea—the whole is a level strath or plain—and waterspouts have been known to carry even farther ⟨than⟩ this. Major Mackenzie has forwarded a ⟨small⟩ quantity of the fish to the Secretary of the Northern Institution. We have just inspected them, and can assure our readers, that—though the fry would go but a small way towards satisfying a few hungry GILLIES—they will abundantly gratify the curiosity of every visitor.

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SINGULAR STORY.

A strange circumstance occurred at Brest, in June 1817:—A man, in the last stage of a dangerous disorder, sent for a priest to give him EXTREME UNCTION. The priest, after some conversation with the man, told him that he could not give him EXTREME UNCTION unless he surrendered up the lands that he held, and which belonged to the Church previous to the Revolution. In vain did the poor man point out that he had purchased them at a valuation, and had a large family to bequeath them to; the priest told him, if he did not, he would be d-----d and go to hell! The poor man replied, he would not give up the land, but take his chance. In a few days he died, and was refused the rites of the church, or Christian burial, on account of his having died without receiving EXTREME UNCTION; and the priest told the family that he was certain of going to hell, and that the devil would come that night and take away his body. The wretched family were dreadfully alarmed, employed an old soldier to sit up all night and watch the corpse, furnishing him with a bottle of wine, bread and cheese, and a sword to protect himself. At midnight the door flew open, and in stalked three figures dressed so as to appear like devils; they walked round the room to try to intimidate the soldier, but the old veteran, who had never feared to oppose an enemy, was not to be panic-struck, but broke silence, and accosted them in these words:—"You, Mr Devils, if one of you lays a hand upon that body, I will cut it off." After some time, one more courageous than the rest seized upon the feet of the corpse, and another took hold of the head: the soldier made a chop at the hand of the first, and nearly cut off his arm; the other he wounded on the shoulder; a scuffle ensued; but in a short time the DEVILS disappeared, leaving a large quantity of blood behind them, which showed that they were human. The next day the family waited on the praefect, and related to him this strange circumstance, when he sent for the priest who had refused to give EXTREME UNCTION. The priest returned for answer, that he was unwell, and could not attend him; after several messengers had been despatched, without success, to inform him HE MUST COME, a guard of soldiers was sent, who brought him up, and he proved to be the very devil whom the old soldier had cut across the arm!

HIGHLAND FIDELITY AND HOSPITALITY.

The Kennedies, two common thieves, took the young Pretender under their protection, and kept him with faith inviolable, notwithstanding they knew an immense reward was offered for his head. They often robbed for his support, and to supply him with linen, they surprised the baggage-horses of one of our general officers. They frequently went in disguise to Inverness to buy provisions for him. At length, a very considerable time after, one of these poor fellows, who had virtue to resist the temptation of thirty thousand pounds, was hanged for stealing a cow value thirty shillings.

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A Gentleman travelling through the Highlands of Scotland, was obliged to halt at the cottage of a poor Highland peasant, in order to refresh himself and his horses after a fatiguing journey. The Highlander, proud of such a guest, provided every thing he could for his comfort and convenience; and, though he could not boast of luxurious dainties at his humble board, he yet presented his guest with a piece of excellent mutton, a bit of good cheese, plenty of milk, and some exhilerating whiskey.

The gentleman, in short, was so well pleased with the hospitality and attention of his landlord, that, on taking leave of him, he offered him two guineas, which the Highlander peremptorily refused, saying he would not so far disgrace himself as to take a bribe for having done what he was in honour bound to do. "But," added he, "there is one favour I would ask of you; should you meet with the laird in your travels, SAY NOTHING ABOUT THE MUTTON!"

The poor fellow, it seems, had sacrificed his honesty to his hospitality, by making free with one of the laird's sheep for the entertainment of his guest.

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FRATERNAL AFFECTION.

When the St. James Portuguese ship was wrecked on the coast of Africa, the captain and twelve other persons betook themselves to the pinnace. On putting off, numbers hurried on in hopes of getting on board; "but their more fortunate comrades fearing that they might be sunk with the weight of all those who endeavoured to get admittance, pushed them back into the sea, and, with their sabres and hatchets cut, without mercy, the hands of such as would not quit their hold. It is impossible to describe the anguish of those who remained on the floating fragments of the wreck, and witnessed the barbarous scene. Those in the boat, in order to prevent the anarchy and confusion which would have aggravated their misery, agreed to submit to the authority of a head which they would choose from among themselves; and they immediately made choice of one, whom they invested with absolute authority. This power he soon found it necessary to employ, in causing the weakest, whom he merely pointed out with his finger, to be thrown overboard. In the number of those was a carpenter, who had assisted in repairing the pinnace; the only favour he requested was a little wine, after which he suffered himself to be thrown into the water without uttering a word. Another, who was proscribed in the same manner, was saved by an uncommon exertion of fraternal affection. He was already seized, and on the point of being sacrificed to imperious necessity, when his younger brother demanded a moment's delay. He observed, that his brother was skilful in his profession; that his father and mother were very old, and his sisters not yet settled in life; that he could not be of that service to them which his brother could; and, as circumstances required the sacrifice of one of the two, he begged to die in his stead. His request was complied with, and he was immediately thrown into the sea. But this courageous youth followed the boat upwards of six hours, making incessant efforts to get on board, sometimes on one side, sometimes on the other, while those who had thrown him over endeavoured with their swords to keep him off. But that which appeared likely to accelerate his end preserved it. The young man snatched at a sword, seized it by the blade, and neither the pain, nor the exertions made by him who held it, could make him quit his hold. The others admiring his resolution, and moved by the proof of fraternal affection which he had displayed, unanimously agreed to permit him to enter the pinnace. At length, after having endured hunger and thirst, and encountered the dangers of several tempests, they landed on the coast of Africa.

EXAMPLE OF INTREPEDITY.

Amidst a thousand brave and daring exploits performed during our late contest with France, one occurred, to which, though of a more pacific and less brilliant kind, we will venture to give the preference:—"On the 4th of June 1804, after a royal salute from the principal fort, St. Heliere, in the island of Jersey, the matches used on the occasion were lodged in the magazine, without being properly extinguished. On the evening of the same day, smoke was perceived to issue through an air-hole in one end of the magazine, and the alarm was of course soon spread. In the midst of the panic occasioned by the discovery, there were three men, viz. Edward Towrel, a carpenter, who was the first that volunteered his services, William Ponteney, a soldier, and a Mr P. Leys, who were bold enough to advance to and break open the magazine, where they found two caissons of wood, filled with ammunition, on fire, near which stood an open barrel of gunpowder! a flannel cartridge was almost burnt through, and some of the beams that supported the roof were on fire. By their courage and exertions the fire was at length totally extinguished."

The magazine, it seems, contained 200 barrels of gunpowder, besides charged bombs, caissons, and other combustibles. Had an explosion taken place, the loss of lives and of property would have been great and melancholy. An action of this sort requires more cool intrepidity and inflexible courage, than the most daring and resolute attack of an enemy; for, in the one case, the more daring the attempt, the more, it is to be presumed, an enemy will be confounded and panic-struck; but in the other, the event must, if at all unfortunate, operate unavoidable destruction. We would not detract from the merit of a valiant and glorious exploit; but we may aver, that the three brave men who saved the magazine at St. Heliere were capable of facing death in his most dreadful and appalling shapes.

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DESCENT OF NIAGARA BY THE SCHOONER MICHIGAN.
(Extract of a letter dated Buffalo, Sep. 9th, 1827.)

For several days previous to the 8th, stages came crouded, as well as the canal boats, so much so that it was difficult to find a conveyance to the falls; and such was the interest that the descent was the only topic of conversation among all classes. On Friday night the 7th, waggons filled with country people rattled through the town all night; and on Saturday morning, Buffalo itself seemed to be moving in mass towards the grand point of attraction. To accommodate those who could not find a passage in carriages, five steam boats had advertised to leave here on Saturday morning, and great numbers chose this conveyance; they were the Henry Clay, William Penn, Pioneer, Niagara, and Chippewa being all the steam-boats in Luke Erie, except the Superior. The Chippewa was appointed to tow down the pirate schooner (as she was termed) the Michigan, which service she performed. I took my passage on board this boat, and we got underway before the others passed through the basin at Black Rock, and about a mile below the Rock took in tow the vessel destined to make the dreadful plunge. As soon as we got underway, the scene became interesting. The sun shone in full splendour, the waters of Erie were placid, there being scarcely a ruffle upon its surface, and a a few miles astern of us, four steamers crowded with passengers, and hands of music on board, were plowing their way down the rapids of Niagara. Our little boat towed the Michigan as far as Yale's landing on the British shore, within 3 miles of the Falls, where she anchored; and at this place the Chippewa landed her passengers as well as the William Penn, and they were conveyed from thence to the Falls, in vehicles of all descriptions. The three other steam boats landed their passengers on the American side.

Three o'clock was the hour appointed to weigh anchor on board the Michigan.— The task of towing her from Yale's landing to the rapids, and a most hazardous one, was entrusted to Captain Rouhg, the oldest Captain on the lake. With a yawl boat and five oarsmen, of stout hearts and strong arms, the old Captain got the schooner under way, and towed her to within one quarter of a mile of the first rapids, and within a half a mile of the tremendous precipice, as near as they dare approach, and cutting her adrift, she passed majestically on, while the oarsmen of the yawl had to pull for their lives to effect their own safety. Indeed, such were the fears of the hands, as I have understood, that on approaching the rapids, they cut the tow line before they had received orders from their commander.

And now we approach the interesting moments of the exhibition. The high grounds on both sides of the American and British shores were lined with people, having a full view of the rapids and the approach of the vessel, and now it was that a thousand fears and expectations were indulged, as the Michigan, unguided by human agency, approached, head on, the first rapid descent, and apparently keeping the very course that the most skilful navigator would have pursued, having an American ensign flying from her bowsprit, and the British Jack displayed at her stern. She passed the first rapid unhurt, still head on, making a plunge, shipping a sea and rising from it in beautiful style, and in her descent over the second her masts went by the board, at the same moment affording those who have never witnessed a shipwreck, a specimen of the sudden destruction of the spars of a ship at sea in case of a wreck.—Expectation for her fate was now at the highest; she swung round and presented her broadside to the dashing and foaming waters, and after remaining stationary ⟨a⟩ moment or two, was by their force, swung ⟨round⟩, stern foremost, and having passed to the ⟨third⟩ rapid, she bilged, but carried her hull apparently whole, between Grass Island on the British shore to the Horse shoe, over which she was carried stern foremost, and launched into the abyss below. In her fall she was dashed into ⟨ten⟩ thousand pieces. I went below the Falls ⟨immediately⟩ after the descent, and the river exhibited a singular appearance from the thousands ⟨of⟩ floating fragments, there being scarcely to be ⟨been⟩ any two boards nailed together, and many ⟨of⟩ her timbers were broken into twenty pieces. ⟨Such⟩ was the eagerness of the multitude present ⟨to⟩ procure a piece of her, that before sunset a ⟨great⟩ part of her was carried away.

I believe I have already informed you of the ⟨animals⟩ on board. They consisted of a buffalo ⟨from⟩ the Rocky mountains, two bears from ⟨Green⟩ Bay and Grand River, two foxes, a ⟨racoon⟩, a dog, a cat, and four geese—the fate of ⟨these⟩ you will probably wish to learn. When ⟨the⟩ vessel was left to her fate, they were let loose ⟨on⟩ deck, except the buffalo, which was enclosed ⟨in⟩ a temporary pen. The two bears left the ⟨vessel⟩ shortly after she began to descend the ⟨rapids⟩, and swam ashore, notwithstanding the ⟨rapidity⟩ of current. On reaching the British ⟨shore⟩ they were taken. The buffalo was seen ⟨to⟩ pass over the Falls, but was not visible afterwards. What became of the other animals is ⟨not⟩ known. Those who had glasses could see ⟨one⟩ of the bears climbing the mast as the vessel approached the rapids; the foxes, &c., were also running up and down, but nothing was seen of them after after schooner passed over. The only live animals of the crew that passed over the falls were two geese; they were taken up unhurt. Major Fraser obtained one, and an English gentleman purchased the other for two dollars.

The calculations are various as to the number of persons assembled on both shores. Some estimate them as low as fifteen, and others at thirty thousand. The greatest body of people were on the American side. Goat Island for a considerable distance exhibited a dense column of persons, and the bridge erected from Goat Island, which is upwards of a hundred feet over the rapids, was also crowded, and temporary booths, made with the boughs of trees, skirted both shores. As we passed down the Niagara, we had a full view of the whole distance from Buffalo, of the hundreds of vehicles of all descriptions passing towards the Falls, and as the weather had been uncommonly hot and dry for a long time, the roads presented uninterrupted columns of dust as far as the eye could extend. In fact, so much larger was the assemblage of persons than was anticipated, that notwithstanding the proprietors of public houses had laid in an unusual supply of refreshments, they had not ⟨provided⟩ sufficient for one half the people, and ⟨thousands⟩ were unable to obtain a mouthful of any thing. You may judge of the situation of matters, when I assure you, that I stopped at Forsyth's about four o'clock P. M., after climbing up his everlasting steps from the bottom of the falls, and was unable to obtain even a cracker or a glass of water, and this was the case at Brown's also."

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AN EXTRAORDINARY HAGGIS.

There was a fellow of the name of Thomas McDonald, a Glasgow thief, lately confined in the Jail of Ayr, accused of breaking into a shop in Beath, and carrying off a great quantity of silks.— It seems that this man is well acquainted with, and very much respected by, the GENTLEMEN of his own profession in this city, who, to shew their regard and sympathy for a brother in distress, two days ago forwarded to his address in Ayr a very large Scotch Haggis.—It is more than probable that the gaucy present would have been sent directly to its proper owner by the Jailer, had he not been warned in a very particular manner, by the criminal officers here, to be on his guard with respect to M^cDonald, as they were afraid of some trick being attempted by his friends to facilitate his escape. As a precautionary measure, therefore, the haggis was cut up, when all present were sufficiently astonished to find, that, besides the delicate mixture of which this long-approved dish of our countrymen is usually composed, it also contained a new spring saw!—It is needless to add, that the haggis, on being divested of this ingredient, was little relished by the prisoner, although a genuine Highlander.

A STRANGE VISITER.

On Saturday evening, about eleven o'clock, two respectable families in Dummyha's Wynd were frightened to an alarming degree with what they thought an invisible spirit. As the families were proceeding to bed, an unwelcome knock came to the doors. Being a little timid, they inquired who was there? No answer being made, one, possessed of stronger nerves than the others, slipped open the door, without a light, but could not see or hear any thing. In a little while after the rapping became truly terrific. On being repeatedly asked to state who they were, and no answer given, the fears of the inmates can be more easily felt than described. Eight stout athletic men who belonged to the house stood on the floor, almost immovably fixed, and, like the earth stopper, with their hair standing on end with fear. At last two of the men became courageous, and thrust open the window and came out. On entering the lobby, to their mighty astonishment, they found the huge body of a jackass, which was the object of so much terror, lying upon his back, rolling over and over, first kicking at the one door and then at the other? The ass had been strolling about, and, like Paul Pry, had just "dropped in." He attempted to ascend the stairs, but the task being too difficult, fell over on his back.

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A farmer's servant, while about to go abroad in the morning, was surprised to observe what looked like the body of a man, coiled up in a true hedge-hog fashion, in the clift of a tree 25 or 30 feet high. At first he mistrusted his powers of vision, but on discovering that he saw as well as usual, he could only account for the apparition by supposing that a whirlwind had arisen during the night, and furtively transported some neighbouring scarerow to a spot where no scarecrow used to be. Still he had his doubts; scarecrows are newer dressed like dandies; and a cravat so clean, hose so tidy, with coat, vest, and small clothes at once so fashionable and admirably fitted, could only, he thought, belong to an animate being. The "thews and sinews" pointed to exactly the same conclusion, and A MAN IT WAS, AND MUST BE, who sleeping or walking, ran some risk of tumbling over bed the moment he disensconced himself from his sylvan curtains, or raised his head from a timber pillow, ⟨in⟩ these circumstances the honest hind thought it ⟨right⟩ to rouse some of the neighbours, who assembled very promptly at his call, and, headed ⟨by⟩ a sailor, held a council of war right under ⟨branches⟩ much better fitted for the perch of a bird ⟨than⟩ a human being. A ladder was sent for and ⟨a⟩ coil of rope, and the gallant tar nimbly clewed ⟨the⟩ wooden shrouds, with a view of making the ⟨slumberer⟩ fast, and lowering him when he chanced ⟨to⟩ come to his senses. But in slipping the cord ⟨under⟩ his head, the ma awoke, and actually (illegible text)ed as wildly at his deliverer, as ever a criminal did when his neck was about to be inserted ⟨in⟩ a halter. With much ado, he was piloted ⟨through⟩ projecting boughs and twigs, safely landed on terra firma, and then called on to account for his conduct. His speech though brief, was protracted by many a hearty yawn, and all that the auditors could collect from it was, that he belonged to Dumfries, was by trade a tailor, and that while taking a walk on Saturday afternoon, with his week's earnings snug in his pocket, he had "forgathered" with rather a wet acquaintance. A BOUSE was the consequence, and while returning home and passing a spot where a number of crows are known to roost, he imagined he heard a voice saying—"come up this way and take another glass." The invitation was very cordially accepted, but how an individual three parts drunk, managed to climb to a height of 40 feet, and preserve his balance when once there, is what we cannot well understand. The sailor remarked that even he who had been accustomed to climbing all his life, would have felt uneasy in a hammock swung almost topmast high; that a man who could perform such marvellous feats, prostituted his talents by sitting cross-legs; that one good turn deserved another and that if ever the press-gang visited the Nith(illegible text) he would insist on their seizing the tailor as ⟨his⟩ substitute to serve on board a man-of-war. ⟨At⟩ this suggestion the tailor, it is said, looked rather blue; and we have only to add, that the ⟨above⟩ incident, strange as it may appear, was communicated to us from a most respectable quarter and can be vouched for by nearly the whole population of the sweetly rural village of Keltor(illegible text).