A Dissertation on the Marriage of a Man with his Sister-in-Law/Section 6

SECTION VI.

DECENCY.

When incontrovertible arguments have decided a question, it may appear improper to add corroborating observations. But the subject before us extends, with interesting consequences, in every direction — it may therefore be expedient, beside arguments, to suggest considerations which appeal to the feelings of the heart. Only two shall be mentioned.— The first is distinguished by the title of Decency.

Decency expresses whatever is decorous and consentaneous to character; it comprises, that delicacy in morals, that refinement in sentiment, and that precision in conduct, which render virtue amiable, interesting, and a source of comfort to society.

"Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report ; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things," Phil. iv. 8. With this affee ing and sublime group of words, the inspired Apostle suggests the influence and extent of sanctified principles, and recommends that beauty of holiness and undeviating rectitude of Christian manners, which include all that is implied in decency and delicacy.

Christians are "the salt of the earth" — "the light of the world," — "a city set upon a hill." They must " do more than others," and "through Christ which strengtheneth them," they actually do more than others. Morality in all its extensive branches, from purer motives and with greater precision, is practised by them than by any other men. They deny themselves, and are afraid to sin ; they avoid every appearance of evil, and hate " even the garment spotted by the flesh,'"'^ This refinement of sentiment and principle makes little pr r o impression upon the wicked, whose pursuits and habits have never been regulated by such exalted standards, and who have no desire to be sav saved from their sins; but to real Christians it is full of interest, and expresses their predominant wishes. To such, the article now before us appeals. They can enter fully into the subject — they know what DECENCY requires, and under its influence, will yield to all that has been suggested against commiting incest with a sister in law.

Marriage is justly styled "a delicate institution," essentially connected with order and decency. Sweet spring of purest comforts, exuberant source of domestic happiness, it pours its precious blessings wherever it is honoured, and amply pays for protection and defence. But, exposed to insults and susceptible of injuries, it withholds its invaluable benefits from those who suffer it to be abused and polluted. Any people who tolerate incest of any description; who countenance adultery; or sanction divorces for any other cause, than what the word of God prescribes; will quickly realise the pernicious effects of their conduct. They will rapidly depreciate in taste and sentiment, and infallibly degenerate in morals. If the fountain of social virtue be troubled and poisoned, the streams will inevitably be turbid, bitter, and fatal— "thine own ne§s shall correct thee, and thy backsliding shall re- prove thee." — Beside, let it impress the public mind with holy fear, let it be remembered with reveren- tial awe, that God is jealous of his own ordinances, and will not suffer any person with impunity to pro- fane them ; especially those who are blessed with his word and profess to be his people, ^^lithey call evil good, and good evil ; if they break his statutes, and keep not his commandments. He will visit their transgression with the rod and their ini- quity with stripes," for ** verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth." — The rule of the divine go- vernment toward those whom he has knowriy and blessed with distinguished privileges, is always and invariably the same : *' The Lord is with you, while ye be with him ; and if ye seek him, he will be found of you ; but if ye forsake him, he will for- sake you." And, saith the Lord, *' wo to them, when I depart from them." Many indecent and indelicate, disagreeable and unpleasant consequences resulting fro«n a marriage with a sister in law, will be readily anticipated by every serious and reflecting mind. Let it suffice to observe ; that admitting (which cannot in truth be DECENCY. 109 granted,) that a doubt might be cherished whether a sister in law be a relation, within the prohibited degrees; must it not still be acknowledged, that to marry such a relative is a rash and dangerous act ? Is it not perilous to advance as near as possi- ble to the brink of a precipice ? Is it safe, is it prudent, is it consistent with the Christian charac- ter, to approach deliberately to the very verge of an abominable and accursed crime, under the infatuat- ed and fluctuating hope that perhaps it may possibly be an exemption ? But it is not only rash and dangerous to the in* dividuals ; it is also injurious to the community. Such marriages trespass upon the rules of decency ; they are inimical to that purity, and chastity of families, which insure the repose and happiness of society ; they are hostile to that virtue and delicacy, which the religion of nature, and revealed religion inculcate. In the confidence of protection from a man, who by his marriage has been brought into the family, and become a brother, the younger sisters are always in the habit of associating familiarly and frequently with their married sister— their former affection is not interrupted by the introduction of a new relative^

This is proper. It is consistent with the most rigid rules of morality. It is founded upon the indisputable presumption, that the sister of the wife is now also become the lister of the husband^ and he is her brother. No suspicion of indecency can arise in her mind, nor any imputation of indelicacy upon the part of the public. She may come, remain^ or go, in all the safety of innoeency, under the broad shield of the divine law, and the universal consent and approbation of society. But let it be once adopted, let practice establish the detestable principle, that the sister, after the death of the wife, may become not at all related to the husband ; that she may be to him a stranger, and as much the le- gitimate object of marriage as any other woman, and her frequent and familiar visits must cease. She Can no more come to his house, or be oftener seen in the company of her brother in law^ than she may frequent the house or be familiar in the compa- ny of any other married map. The afFectionate in^ tercourse of the sisters is at an end. As it respects himself and the unhappy victim of his incestuous cohabitation — is it not indecent to persuade her to an act, which could she have fore- seen, would, from principles of delicacy, have pre- vented the familiar intercourse, in which, as a sister ^ she had innocently indulged ? — Nay, is it not cruel, to render the woman, who had placed confidence in him as a brother^ a partaker with him, in the fearful risks and alarming consequences of such a connec- tion ? — Is there not an ample choice among stran- gers ? Is it not one of the great objects of marriage to enlarge the domestic circle, and cement families by new relations ? And is not that great end frus- trated, by the contracted, indelicate, and indecent selection of a sister in law ? Habita est ratio rectis- simacharitatis, ut non in paucitate coarctaretur, sed latius atque niimeriosius propinquitatibus crebris vinculum sociale difFunderetur. Aug, de civit, 15, 16. " Let us study the beautiful and the venerable, as well as what is true and just, in actions, and pur^u^ every thing which shall, as such, approve itself to our consciences ; every thing in which there shall be virtue and praise. Let us always, in this view, enendeavour to keep the moral sense uncorrupted, and pray that God would preserve the delicacy of our minds in this respect, that a holy sensibility of soul may warn and alarm us to guard against every distant appearance of evil."[1]

  1. Doddridge.