"Home, sweet home!"—Author, chap. i.
Yes, it was all a dream! And so one must descend forthwith from grand castles in the air to the humble cottages of reality. I was most decidedly out of humour, for the time, with this sudden change from the sublimely great, to what was, by comparison at least, the ridiculously small; nor were things made any better to my wounded ideal, when White himself bobbed his rough old head between the curtains of my little berth, to say that this was the second arousing he had already given me to make haste, there being now no time to lose in securing a promising spot opening that presented itself for passing outside the photosphere. I rose of course, but I was in more or less of a growling, disappointed mood during all my morning's toilet.
But passing presently into the main cabin, my thoughts began at last to be agreeably diverted, for almost the first object to greet my eyes was my bundle of letters on the table, by mail, just in from the Earth. It was the direct express, and brought of course the very latest despatches. Amongst others to myself was a letter from Bullings. It was expressed in the most grateful terms, acknowledging that my timely remittance, together with the influential and stimulative heading of the honoured name of Nunsowe Green to his share-list, had reinstated his fortunes. His grand consolidation scheme had taken the public fancy, and already the shares were at twenty premium. "That price," added Bullings, "can be had at once for yours; but as they must go to fifty or even a hundred immediately, it would, of course, be madness to sell." So then this is to be "Business first" after all, thought I, as a warm thrill of mingled benevolence and business consideration came over me. But forthwith I telegraphed Bullings, with electro-light speed, even upon the extreme expediting heat-wave, the one sole word, "Sell."
Next, moving outside, great was my astonishment at the surrounding spectacle. The school-children of the neighbourhood had all obtained a partial holiday, alike to witness and to do honour to our departure. The rocks and house-tops all about were covered with the odd-looking little creatures, whose peculiar and soft lullabies, "Ha, ha, Pa, pa," now fell like sweet music upon my ears. I could not help musing at the moment on the similarities of children everywhere, for I could almost have sworn that I heard my own young people's voices in all this far-away solar throng.
Now at last we shove off. White is evidently resolute for despatch, and keeps his eagle eye forward and aloft, fixed upon the grand "spot" opening which had lately yawned in a position so conveniently direct for us. At once he springs the first electric, and, with a rather smart shock all round, away we speed. The arousing effects of the shock, the pleasant excitement, the reassuring aspect of redoubtable old White at the helm near me, and, above all, the pleasant parental feeling that we were now homeward bound, had at last quite dispelled my cross humour in the tantalizing matter of the dream. Bullings' welcome communication also did its part; so that, altogether, I found myself lapsing into a very comfortable complacency of spirit, as I glanced, alternately, downwards upon the vast and diversified solar scenery we were so rapidly leaving, and upwards at the electrical storms and storm-clouds of the sub-photosphere, which we were as rapidly approaching.
Suddenly I mark a change in White's expression, and looking in the direction indicated by his fixed and keen gaze, I at once apprehend the cause; for a bright facula is just then seen streaming out from the edge towards the centre of the opening in the photosphere for which we are making. It now occurred to me to suggest to White, that, perhaps, we had better pull up, or even make a timely turn back, in face of such manifest danger. Hardly was the thought realized, when I saw the bold, rash man pull the second electric, and on we dashed at the redoubled speed, while the terrible shaking I got in consequence seemed to leave me, for a second or two, but half alive.
But I quickly recovered myself, under the pressure of imminent surrounding danger. Looking out ahead, a truly awful spectacle met my gaze. We had already entered the upper storm region, and were dashing through it at such a pace that in a few more minutes, nay, possibly but some few more seconds, we should be passing through the centre of the spot opening. Then, directing my eye to that quarter, I could see, through the flitting intermediate clouds, that the terrible facula had made most portentous progress towards that centre, so that it seemed only an even balance as to which of us was to be there first. We were well aware that but one touch of the very skirts of this facula, and all our cross-electric protection was at once dissolved, and ourselves destroyed—burnt up—the next instant. What, then, would White do? I turned imploringly to him, but the reckless man heeded me not. Resolute purpose was in his unswerving eye. I became desperate, and had a project of seizing the ruffian by the throat, when, horror upon horror, I saw the madman grasp, and slash out to its very fullest, the third electric!
Thereupon it seemed as though, by this fresh shock, I had been wrenched asunder into a thousand fragments, and, body and mind alike, irrecoverably dissipated over surrounding space. Was I left conscious, or unconscious? I know not; but, at any rate, there seemed, curiously, to succeed to this terrible convulsion the silence and stillness of the very grave. That particular simile the more readily occurred to me, because I seemed really to have passed the ordeal of the narrow home, and to have actually entered the next world, wherever that might be. But presently a sweet silvery cadence fell upon my ear. I might have thought that it savoured of the peace of Paradise, were it not that, at once, I recognized it all, as no other than the delicious music of the children we had so lately left behind us in the sun. Were we then safe back already to solar terra firma? There seemed no possible mistake in the matter, and I was just turning, most penitentially, to express my gratitude to our matchless leader, when another voice, streaming into my all-attent ears, at once sent my thoughts into an entirely different direction, for the solution of the problem.
Although I failed to catch the precise words, I could not for one moment doubt the tone. It was indeed no other than my dearest wife's voice. Were we, then, safe at home? Surely this was so, rather than the alternative of her having adventured to the sun to meet us. If that brave and noble White had just then stood visible before me, I could have fallen down and worshipped him.
But now there followed a fresh puzzle. Young Brown's voice also fell distinctly upon my ears. We could not possibly be at Mercury, and had he not waited for us as agreed upon? and how surprising to find him also here!
How surprising, indeed, it all was! But unquestionably we were safe home again, and I made a sign to young Brown to bring up a bottle of the best laboratorial vintage, in order to drink a bumper to White's health. Anon, I prepared myself to meet my wife, not wishing to put her out of countenance by any looks of assumption based upon the undoubted successes of our great expedition. Then my thoughts dashed off to the promising forthcoming publication, mingled, however, with the qualifying recollection, that Brown's full equal share in that matter still stood good. Another instant and Bullings was in my mind, and I wondered that he had not already met me here, or at any rate sent a special message, with a contract for the sale of the shares at the premium assured to me. Had the rash fellow still held them on? or was he merely negligent and ungrateful, and the profit all mine none the less? Countless other subjects seemed to course through my mind with the rapidity of electro-light speed itself, and at last I settled into the Green-Brown syndicate, which was to make all our fortunes out of the plunder of the great nebula in Argo, a satisfaction tempered, however, by the recollection that the greatly reduced brokerage on the job was to be further diminished by Brown's half share. I thought with pride and dignity of explaining all this welcome fortune-making to my wife, when all this current and bustle of thought was at once arrested by her voice a second time falling upon my ears, and this time quite distinctly as to the utterance.
"Why, my dear, what has come over you? You have been snoring, snorting, and grunting, in that easy-chair of yours, for the best part of the last half-hour, and little Maggie has just had to shake you three times over ere you could be wakened. What's the good of you and old Skipper White indulging in ideal trips over this whole mighty world, when even a jaunt to Brighton knocks you up in this way! Here we all are, with tea ready poured out, and only waiting your saying grace."
In another few seconds I had said grace, and in a like further short interval I had buried my teeth in a round of my favourite hot toast, buttered on both sides, which our Polly had prepared as usual—my wife, however, permitting such extravagance only when we used Cork seconds. Another minute, and I was exhorting young Brown—who, however, was too preoccupied with Polly to pay much heed—to make a good meal, as we were both to take the early morning train to Birmingham, in order to begin, sad to say, all over again, the business tour in the hardware trade.
And now, in conclusion, it's all very well to profess to take composedly what comes to us, whether the up or the down, the great or the small. But I cannot say I was, all at once, quite reconciled to such equanimity after two successive tumbles from those lofty heights over which I had seemed, for a whole lifetime, to be so successfully careering.
I was thus brooding through our tea-taking, and in a decidedly grumbling humour, when a thought suddenly flashed upon me. That projected publication, which was in fact the backbone of all I had just experienced, might still prove a surviving reality. I would write out a full, true, and particular account of everything just as I saw it and felt it in my late experiences. And then again, whatever the proceeds, whether great or small, there was at any rate one grand consolation, that not one iota of the profit, not the cent of an Energy of it all, could be claimed by Brown.
Good reader, I have now duly done all this, and I hope you have enjoyed the resulting volume, as indeed you have a right to do after paying your purchase money. I don't pretend, with worthy old Brown in his momentary higher mood, to say "Bother the profits," for "Business first" remains with me, as ever, the family motto. Nevertheless, business duly done with, I have a further purpose to bring up this other subject before the great S.S.U.D.S. Many of the experiences might be worth attention, and some of the best of the ideal progress might be really attainable, possibly even sooner in reality than in the dream. I intend, in short, to appeal to the S.S.U.D.S. to help the promotion of
The Nunsowe-Green Programme.
THE END.
London: Printed by William Clowes and Sons, Limited,
Stamford Street and Charing Cross.