A Tribute to the Sportsmanship of the Fans

Headlock, hammerlock, toss him on his bean again,
   Jump on his belly and boot him in the hips,
Clamp the scissors on his neck
   and choke him till he's green again
   Get the fans wild-eyed, with froth on their lips.

Barlock, body-slam, nibble on his ears again—
   Its just like eating cabbage—and kick him in the groin,
Butt him in the belly, that brings the cheers again,
   The fans want a run for their hard-spent coin.

Flying-mare, toe-hold, twist his neck around again,
   Wrap his legs around his waist and tie them in a knot,
Stamp in his mouth so his teeth cannot be found again,
   The fans paid their money so make it good and hot.

Stranglehold, leg-split, jerk his knee-caps loose again,
   Crack his ribs and break his arms, leave him life-long lame,
Send him out on a shutter—then listen to the boos again,
   The kind fans howling that the battle was too tame.