CHAP. XI.
In the next Place Sactuff led us to see his Men at Work, (whose Manner of working I have already describ'd,) and complied with a Request of mine, in suffering me to hammer out a Poem. In order to this I wrote the Letters of the English Alphabet upon Pieces of Paper, as above, and then proceeded to down right Hammering: After some little Labour I collected the following Poem, which I here set down with the Alteration of but two Words since it left the Moon. When I had made the Poem I hammered for a Title, and could find no other than that which is perfixed to it. The making of the Poem had like to prove the Cause of my Confinement, since it made Sactuff conceive too well of my Ability, to become serviceable to him.
RODOMONTADO BEMBUZ.
Shall make the World with Taratantara blaze,
When Indian Firelooks sends us Dumplins home,
And wond'rous Woodcocks have forgot to roam.
The British Widows in the Indian Trees,
With Hairs dishevell'd danggling on their Knees:
In magick Noise behold the glimmering Froth,
And in my Pockets Pitchers full of Broth.
The swearing Dewlap of the snowy Herd,
And Pigs sweet singing with a downy Beard:
But now behold what's done beneath the Main,
The starry Tritons, and the gilded Bean;
While thund'ring Pismires clog the sable Brain,
And wond'ring Echoes tumble o'er the Plain.
In lolling Numbers I shall ne'er begin
To tell the Prowess of a lighted Gin.
Thus Keckerman and Crakanthorp forget to die,
And Peter Fiskison shall cease to fly:
We'll echo Murmurs with a Hunting Horn;
And startle all the Children yet unborn:
Of Shoeing-Horns I'll sing the Praise,
And on their Ashes Pyramids will raise:
Nor squabbling Papists, or the frighted Moor,
Shall e'er make Derby piss behind the Door.
The Deeds of Atlas, or some pretty Swain,
Are now, alas! alas! they're all in vain!
In Hemlock Rays, I'll swagger to the Sky,
And make the Whirlwinds in sweet Numbers fly
While groveling Criticks wallow in the Mire,
I'll soar aloft to tune my warbling Lyre.
When I had finish'd this Poem, I shew'd and explain'd it to Sactuff; who immediately offer'd me a considerable Pension to assist him in his Work. I did not positively refuse him, but begg'd a little Time to consider of it. We remain'd in this Cave sixteen Days; during which Time we had good Entertainment as the Place afforded; and we were constantly considering how we should escape. After Sactuff had told us that he was pleas'd with our Company, one Time, when we were all cheerfully conversing, I took Occasion to ask him some Questions about his strange Form. He told me, that at his Birth he was unlike other Children; but could never assign any Cause for it, other than some strange Conceits, and Mismanagement of his Mother, while he was in her Womb. I do not, said he, repine at mine uncommon Form, well knowing that my Body should be the least of my Concern, since my Deformity cannot hinder the Operations of my Mind. Whensoever, indeed, I appear abroad, I cover myself close with this Mantle, which was very wonderfully made: It was made by my Master of a Salt Wave, artfully dried in Smoke: He first infus'd a coagulating Liquor into it, and then spread it upon a Frame till it became dry, and afterwards he painted it.
It was now almost Time to betake ourselves to Rest, when I call'd Tckbrff aside, and propos'd to him a Method of escaping. I had before enquir'd of some of the Servants where the Chimney open'd itself; and was told, that about a League thence it open'd into a Cave, but was impassable, on account of the Smoke and craggy Rock that surrounded it: Yet I believ'd that if we ascended when the Fire was out, we might, with some Difficulty, escape. Tckbrff was of my Opinion, and willed instantly to set about it; but the old Mathematician would by no Means venture himself into it; for, said he, I can perceive near the Mouth of it a great many acute Angles, which my Flesh has a natural Aversion to. However, since you are resolv'd to venture, I will keep them from lighting a Fire as long as I can, and wish you Success.
When we had taken our Leave of him, he retir'd to his Bed, and left us waiting till we should think they were all asleep, at which Time, when it came, we resolutely ascended. We had not got far when we were minded to go down again; and certainly would, had we not perceived our Passage to grow less steep. Never did Knight in enchanted Castle suffer more than we did in passing through this gloomy Labyrinth; our Cloaths and Skins were much torn, and our Mouths filled with Soot. When we had climb'd about a Mile, our Passage became more easy, which encouraged us to proceed, till after much Toil and Vexation we saw the Light, and could walk upright; we were then within fifty Yards of the Mouth of the Cave, which was very large, and open'd into a pleasant Field.
We were no sooner come out, than we return'd God Thanks for our Delivery, and wash'd ourselves in a River that was near; then we laid down to refresh ourselves in the Field, before we went any further, and consulted upon Measures to be taken in this strange Place. We had scarce sat down, when a vast Quantity of Smoke issued out of the Cave: We suppos'd that Sactuff had caus'd a larger Fire than usual to be made, in order to stifle us in our Flight: But if that was his Design, it was frustrated. After we had rested a while, we rose, and made towards a Town that was not very far thence.
In our Way thither, we met with an amazing Sight, a Field full of little Children, with their Heads just above Ground: I was mov'd with Horror, when I saw them to be too young to deserve so severe a Punishment, as I thought that was. However, we went on till we came to an House situate at one End of the Town: We went in, the Door being open; but could see no Body; besides, we could see no Locks on any Door, but every Thing expos'd: We fear'd to meddle with any Thing, lest, being caught in the Fact, we should be impal'd alive; for we had form'd strange Notions of this People's Cruelty. We left this House, and went to another; where we found the Inhabitants within, who receiv'd us with pleasant Looks, and caus'd us to sit down; but what they said we were not able to understand; yet we suspected Treachery to be couch'd under this Civility. That Night we were well entertain'd; and the next Morning several Foreigners were brought before us, to find out one that could understand us: Such a one at length we found, who interpreted to the Hearers what we said, as well as gave us to understand that the People were kindly affected towards us. Our chief Concern was next to learn their Language, that we might be able to converse with them, and find out their Manner of Living.
It was our good Fortune to have some of the Money of Quqns about us, with which we hir'd a Person to instruct as in the Language. His Method, tho' uncommon, prov'd successful; for in seventeen Days Time we became perfect Masters of their Language: He caus'd us to wear every Night Paper Caps upon our Heads, closely shaved, and on the inner Side of those Caps was wrote part of their Language. He then gave us a Potion to make us sleep soundly, and sweat; by which Means, when we awoke the next Day, we understood every Thing that was wrote on our Night-Caps.
For when the Pores of our Heads were open in sweating, the Spirit of the Words was attracted by the Brain, in which it was embrac'd by the Soul, which every Body allows to have a Thirst after Knowledge. That Words have a Spirit, is plain from the wonderful Effects which they produce, which the dead Letter would never be able to perform. Thus by sleeping with the Language about our Heads, we soon understood it.
When we were capable of conversing, we found that we were not to be maintain'd always at others Expence; but if we design'd to live among them, we must prove useful to the Publick. To this End we consulted, growing suspicious that their Favours would shortly cease, when we had told them of all our Adventures that were pleasing to them; for the People were of an itching Temper, fond of Novelty, and quickly cloy'd with their choicest Delights. They liv'd under a wise King, that preferr'd their Safety before his own; and murmur'd at all his Proceedings, when they were not fully satisfied of every Thing that induc'd him to take any Measures for their Welfare; tho' they knew him oblig'd by all Ties, divine and human, as willing also, to provide for their Happiness and Security.
Now that we were able to converse with them, I enquired into the Meaning of that Sight of young Children, which we had seen ao we came to this Place; and was told, that many eminent Politicians, from nice Experiments and Observations made upon the Body Politick, had infallibly predicted a great Distemper in it, which wou'd require a more than ordinary Effusion of Blood, in order to cure it To this End, Orders were given for sowing two thousand Acres with Men, which shou'd be ready to bleed when Occasion requir'd. Besides, this way of producing them was much more speedy, than that of being born of a Woman. They had a certain Plant growing among them, of whose Berries, laid in Hot-Beds, Children were thus form'd.
But as I said before, beginning to be tired of our Dependance upon those whom we thought unwilling longer to maintain us, we went directly to the King, and offer'd him our Service as Soldiers, and Persons whom Experience had confirm'd in many Things useful to a Commonwealth: We were well receiv'd, and upon Examination answering some Questions, were settled into some Places which we could manage, with a Promise of Preferment if we rightly behav'd.
The Place assign'd me, was to be Corrector-General of the Book of Fame, which was deliver'd to me. In it I set down every Report that was spread; and by comparing the different Accounts that were given, I form'd some stated Opinion, which every one was oblig'd to assent to, under the Penalty of having some very scandalous Report divulg'd and confirm'd upon them.
The Design of this Office was to prevent the Loss of Time in useless Speculations on their Neighbours Actions, as well as to restrain a licentious way of speaking of others, which had been the Cause of many Disturbances. Now whensoever I declar'd on any Story, if it was but some trivial Matter, I omitted such Circumstances as might not be favourably understood by all that heard them; by which means, in a little Time, the People made Allowances for the Infirmities they were subject to, and began to cherish a brotherly Love among them.
I publish'd among them, a Multiplication Table, by which they might be capable of discerning the Growth of any Story, and discover in what sort of Minds it acquir'd any Thing. I laid down also some Rules for distinguishing the simple Reports from the compound; as also for being acquainted with the arithmetical Progression of a Tale, and discovering its Age by its Size and Complexion. As oft as any noted Piece of Villany was laid before me, I publish'd it with all the aggravating Circumstances that shou'd deter others from the like Practice; yet this, however useful, had like to have been my Ruin, as shall be told in its proper Place.
Tckbrff was my Assistant in my Office, and shar'd with me both in the Trouble and Pension. We liv'd in this Manner for the Space of two Years; and when we were at Leisure, we spent our Time in observing the Behaviour of the People.