Broken Ties and other Stories/Broken Ties/Chapter 2
The last words of Jagamohan, the atheist, to his nephew, Satish, were: ‘If you have a fancy for funeral ceremony, don’t waste it on your uncle,—reserve it for your father.’
This is how he came by his death.
When the plague first broke out in Calcutta, the poor citizens were less afraid of the epidemic than of the preventive staff who wore its badge. Satish’s father, Harimohan, was sure that their Mussulman neighbours, the untouchable leather-dealers, would be the first to catch it, and thereupon defile him and his kith and kin by dragging them along into a common end. Before he fled from his house, Harimohan went over to offer refuge to his elder brother, saying: ‘I have taken a house on the river at Kalna, if you’
‘Nonsense!’ interrupted Jagamohan. How can I desert these people?’
‘Which people?’
‘These leather-dealers of ours.’
Harimohan made a grimace and left his brother without further parley. He next proceeded to his son’s lodgings, and to him simply said: ‘Come along.’
Satish’s refusal was equally laconic. ‘I have work to do here,’ he replied.
‘As pall-bearer to the leather-dealers, I suppose?’
‘Yes, sir; that is, if my services be needed.’
‘Yes, sir, indeed! You scamp, you scoundrel, you atheist! If need be you're quite ready to consign fourteen generations of your ancestors to perdition, I have no doubt!’
Convinced that the Kali Yuga[1] had touched its lowest depth, Harimohan returned home, despairing of the salvation of his next of kin. In order to protect himself against contamination he covered sheets of foolscap with the name of Kali, the protecting goddess, in his neatest handwriting.
Harimohan left Calcutta. The plague and the preventive officials duly made their appearance in the locality; and for dread of being dragged off to the plague hospital, the wretched victims dared not call in medical aid. After a visit to one of these hospitals, Jagamohan shook his head and remarked: ‘What if these people are falling ill,—that does not make them criminals.’
Jagamohan schemed and contrived till he obtained permission to use his own house as a private plague hospital. Some of us students offered to assist Satish in nursing: there was a qualified doctor among our number.
The first patient in our hospital was a Mussulman. He died. The next was Jagamohan himself. He did not survive either. He said to Satish: ‘The religion I have all along followed has given me its last reward. There is nothing to complain of.’
Satish had never taken the dust[2] of his uncle’s feet while living. After Jagamohan’s death he made that obeisance for the first and last time.
‘Fit death for an atheist!’ scoffed Harimohan when he first came across Satish after the cremation.
‘That is so, sir!’ agreed Satish, proudly.
Just as, when the flame is blown out, the light suddenly and completely disappears, so did Satish after his uncle’s death. He went out of our ken altogether.
We had never been able to fathom how deeply Satish loved his uncle. Jagamohan was alike father and friend to him,—and, it may be said, son as well; for the old man had been so regardless of himself, so unmindful of worldly concerns, that it used to be one of the chief cares of Satish to look after him and keep him safe from disaster. Thus had Satish received from and given to his uncle his all.
What the bleakness of his bereavement meant for Satish, it was impossible for us to conceive. He struggled against the agony of negation, refusing to believe that such absolute blankness could be true: that there could be emptiness so desolate as to be void even of Truth. If that which seemed one vast ‘No’ had not also its aspect of ‘Yes,’ would not the whole universe leak away through its yawning gap into nothingness?
For two years Satish wandered from place to place,—we had no touch with him. We threw ourselves with all the greater zeal into our self-appointed tasks. We made it a special point to shock those who professed belief in any kind of religion, and the fields of good work we selected were such that not a good soul had a good word left for us. Satish had been our flower; when he dropped off, we, the thorns, cast off our sheaths and gloried in our sharpness.
Two years had passed since we lost sight of Satish. My mind revolted against harbouring the least thing evil against him, nevertheless I could not help suspecting that the high pitch at which he used to be kept strung must have been flattened down by this shock.
Uncle Jagamohan had once said of a Sannyasin: ‘As the money-changer tests the ring of each coin, so does the world test each man by the response he gives to shocks of loss and pain, and the resistance he offers to the craze for cheap salvation. Those who fail to ring true are cast aside as worthless. These wandering ascetics have been so rejected, as being unfit to take part in the world’s commerce,—yet the vagabonds swagger about, boasting that it is they who have renounced the world! The worthy are permitted no loophole of escape from duty,—only withered leaves are allowed to fall off the tree.’
Had it come to this, that Satish, of all people, had joined the ranks of the withered and the worthless? Was he, then, fated to leave on the black touchstone of bereavement his mark of spuriousness?
While assailed with these misgivings, news suddenly reached us that Satish (our Satish, if you please!) was making the heavens resound with his cymbals in some out-of-the-way village, singing frenzied kirtans[3] as a follower of Lilananda Swami, the Vaishnava revivalist!
It had passed my comprehension, when I first began to know Satish, how he could ever have come to be an atheist. I was now equally at a loss to understand how Lilananda Swami could have managed to lead him such a dance with his kirtans.
And how on earth were we to show our faces? What laughter there would be in the camp of the enemy,—whose number, thanks to our folly, was legion! Our band waxed mightily wroth with Satish. Many of them said they had known from the very first that there was no rational substance in him,—he was all frothy idealism. And I now discovered how much I really loved Satish. He had dealt his ardent sect of atheists their death-blow, yet I could not be angry with him.
Off I started to hunt up Lilananda Swami. River after river I crossed, and trudged over endless fields. The nights I spent in grocers’ shops. At last in one of the villages I came up against Satish’s party.
It was then two o'clock in the afternoon. I had been hoping to catch Satish alone. Impossible! The cottage which was honoured with the Swami's presence was packed all round with crowds of his disciples. There had been kirtans all the morning; those who had come from a distance were now waiting to have their meal served.
As soon as Satish caught sight of me, he dashed up and embraced me fervidly. I was staggered. Satish had always been extremely reserved. His outward calm had been the only measure of his depth of feeling. He now appeared as though intoxicated.
The Swami was resting in the front room, with the door ajar. He could see us. At once came the call, in a deep voice: ‘Satish!’
Satish was back inside, all in a flurry.
‘Who is that?’ inquired the Swami.
‘Srivilas, a great friend of mine,’ Satish reported.
During these years I had managed to make a name for myself in our little world. A learned Englishman had remarked, on hearing one of my English speeches: ‘The man has a wonderful.’ But let that be. Why add to the number of my enemies? Suffice it to say that, from the students up to the students’ grandparents, the reputation had travelled round that I was a rampaging atheist who could bestride the English language and race her over the hurdles at breakneck speed in the most marvellous manner.
I somehow felt that the Swami was pleased to have me here. He sent for me. I merely hinted at the usual salutation as I entered his room,—that is to say, my joined hands were uplifted, but my head was not lowered.
This did not escape the Swami. ‘Here, Satish!’ he ordered. ‘Fill me that pipe of mine.’
Satish set to work. But as he lit the tinder, it was I who was set ablaze within. Moreover, I was getting fidgety, not knowing where to sit. The only seat in the room was a wooden bedstead on which was spread the Swami’s carpet. Not that I confessed to any qualms about occupying a corner of the same carpet on which the great man was installed, but somehow my sitting down did not come off. I remained standing near the door.
It appeared that the Swami was aware of my having won the Premchand-Roychand[4] scholarship. ‘My son,’ he said to me, ‘it is good for the pearl diver if he succeeds in reaching the bottom, but he would die if he had to stay there. He must come up for the free breath of life. If you would live, you must now come up to the light, out of the depths of your learning. You have enjoyed the fruits of your scholarship, now try a taste of the joys of its renunciation.’
Satish handed his Master the lighted pipe and sat down on the bare floor near his feet. The Swami leant back and stretched his legs out towards Satish, who began gently to massage them. This was more than I could stand. I left the room. I could, of course, see that this ordering about of Satish and making him fetch and carry was deliberately directed at me.
The Swami went on resting. All the guests were duly served by the householder with a meal of kedgeree. From five o'clock the kirtans started again and went on till ten in the night.
When I got Satish alone at last, I said to him: ‘Look here, Satish! You have been brought up in the atmosphere of freedom from infancy. How have you managed to get yourself entangled in this kind of bondage to-day? Is Uncle Jagamohan, then, so utterly dead?’
Partly because the playfulness of affection prompted it, partly, perhaps, because precision of description required it, Satish used to reverse the first two syllables of my name and call me Visri.[5]
‘Visri,’ he replied, ‘while Uncle was alive he gave me freedom in life’s field of work,—the freedom which the child gets in the playground. After his death it is he, again, who has given me freedom on the high seas of emotion,—the freedom which the child gains when it comes back to its mother’s arms. I have enjoyed to the full the freedom of life’s day-time; why should I now deprive myself of the freedom of its evening? Be sure that both these are the gift of that same uncle of ours.’
‘Whatever you may say,’ I persisted, ‘Uncle could have nothing to do with this kind of pipe-filling, leg-massaging business. Surely this is no picture of freedom.’
‘That,’ argued Satish, ‘was the freedom on shore. There Uncle gave full liberty of action to our limbs. This is freedom on the ocean. Here the confinement of the ship is necessary for our progress. That is why my Master keeps me bound to his service. This massaging is helping me to cross over.’
‘It does not sound so bad,’ I admitted, ‘the way you put it. But, all the same, I have no patience with a man who can thrust out his legs at you like that.’
‘He can do it,’ explained Satish, ‘because he has no need of such service. Had it been for himself, he might have felt ashamed to ask it. The need is mine.’
I realised that the world into which Satish had been transported had no place for me, his particular friend. The person, whom Satish has so effusively embraced, was not Srivilas, but a representative of all humanity,—just an idea. Such ideas are like wine. When they get into the head any one can be embraced and wept over—I, only as much as anybody else. But whatever joys may be the portion of the ecstatic one, what can such embrace signify to me, the other party? What satisfaction am I to get, merely to be accounted one of the ripples on a grand, difference-obliterating flood,—I, the individual I?
However, further argument was clearly useless. Nor could I make up my mind to desert Satish. So, as his satellite, I also danced from village to village, carried along the current of kirtan singing.
The intoxication of it gradually took hold of me. I also embraced all and sundry, wept without provocation, and tended the feet of the Master. And one day, in a moment of curious exaltation, Satish was revealed to me in a light for which there can be no other name than divine.
With the capture of two such egregious, college-educated atheists as we were, the fame of Lilananda Swami spread far and wide. His Calcutta disciples now pressed him to take up his headquarters at the metropolis.
So Swami Lilananda came on to Calcutta.
Shivatosh had been a devoted follower of Lilananda. Whenever the Swami visited Calcutta he had stayed with Shivatosh. And it was the one delight of Shivatosh’s life to serve the Master, together with all his disciples, when they thus honoured his house. When he died he bequeathed all his property to the Swami, leaving only a life-interest in the income to his young childless widow. It was his hope that this house of his would become a pilgrim-centre for the sect.
This was the house where we now went into residence.
During our ecstatic progress through the villages I had been in an elated mood, which I now found it difficult to keep up in Calcutta. In the wonderland of emotion, where we had been revelling, the mystic drama of the courting of the Bride within us and the Bridegroom who is every- where was being played. And a fitting accompaniment to it had been the symphony of the broad grazing greens, the shaded ferry landing-places, the enraptured expanse of the noonday leisure, the deep evening silences vibrant with the tremolo of cicadas. Ours had been a dream progress to which the open skies of the countryside offered no obstacle. But with our arrival at Calcutta we knocked our heads against its hardness, we got jostled by its crowds, and our dream was at an end.
Yet, was not this the same Calcutta where, within the confines of our students’ lodgings, we had once put our whole soul into our studies, by day and by night; where we had pondered over and discussed the problems of our country with our fellow-students in the College Square; where we had served as volunteers at the holding of our National Assemblies; where we had responded to the call of Uncle Jagamohan, and taken the vow to free our minds from all slavery imposed by Society or State? Yes, it was in this self-same Calcutta that, in the flood-tide of our youth, we had pursued our course, regardless of the revilement of stranger and kindred alike, proudly breasting all contrary currents like a boat in full sail. Why, then, should we now fail, in this whirlpool of suffering humanity, ridden with pleasure and pain, driven by hunger and thirst, to keep up the exaltation proper to our tear-drenched cult of emotional Communion?
As I manfully made the attempt, I was beset with doubts at every step. Was I then a mere weakling: unfaithful to my ideal: unworthy of strenuous endeavour? When I turned to Satish, to see how he fared, I found on his countenance no sign to show that Calcutta, for him, represented any geographical reality whatsoever. In the mystic world where he dwelt, all this city life meant no more than a mirage.
We two friends took up our quarters, with the Master, in Shivatosh’s house. We had come to be his chief disciples, and he would have us constantly near his person.
With our Master and our fellow-disciples we were absorbed day and night in discussing emotions in general and the philosophy of spiritual emotion in particular. Into the very thick of the abstruse complexities which thus engaged our attention, the ripple of a woman’s laughter would now and again find its way from the inner apartments.[6] Sometimes there would be heard, in a clear, high-toned voice, the call ‘Bami!’—evidently a maid-servant of that name.
These were doubtless but trivial interruptions for minds soaring, almost to vanishing point, into the empyrean of idea. But to me they came as a grateful shower of rain upon a parched and thirsty soil. When little touches of life, like shed flower petals, were blown across from the unknown world behind the wall, then all in a moment I could understand that the wonderland of our quest was just there,—where the keys jingled, tied to the corner of Bami’s sari; where the sound of the broom rose from the swept floor, and the smell of the cooking from the kitchen,—all trifles, but all true. That world, with its mingling of fine and coarse, bitter and sweet,—that itself was the heaven where Emotion truly held sway.
The name of the widow was Damini. We could catch momentary glimpses of her through opening doors and flapping curtains. But the two of us grew to be so much part and parcel of the Master as to share his privilege,[7] and very soon these doors and curtains were no longer barriers in our case.
Damini[8] was the lightning which gleams within the massed clouds of July. Without, the curves of youth enveloped her in their fulness, within flashed fitful fires. Thus runs an entry in Satish’s diary:
In Nonibala I have seen the Universal Woman in one of her aspects,—the woman who takes on herself the whole burden of sin, who gives up life itself for the sinner’s sake, and in dying leaves for the world the balm of immortality. In Damini I see another aspect of Universal Woman. This one has nothing to do with death,—she is the Artist of the Art of Life. She blossoms out, in limitless profusion, in form and scent and movement. She is not for rejection; refuses to entertain the ascetic; and is vowed to resist the least farthing of payment to the tax-gathering Winter Wind.
It is necessary to relate Damini’s previous history.
At the time when the coffers of her father, Annada, were overflowing with proceeds of his jute business, Damini was married to Shivatosh. So long, Shivatosh’s fortune had consisted only in his pedigree: it could now count a more substantial addition. Annada bestowed on his son-in-law a house in Calcutta and sufficient money to keep him for life. There were also lavish gifts of furniture and ornaments made to his daughter.
Annada, further, made a futile attempt to take Shivatosh into his own business. But the latter had no interest in worldly concerns. An astrologer had once predicted to Shivatosh that, on the happening of a special conjunction of the stars, his soul would gain its emancipation whilst still in the flesh. From that day he lived in this hope alone, and ceased to find charm in riches, or even in objects still more charming. It was while in this frame of mind that he had become a disciple of Lilananda Swami.
In the meantime, with the subsidence of the jute boom, the full force of the adverse wind caught the heavy-laden bark of Annada’s fortune and toppled it over. All his property was sold up and he had hardly enough left to make a bare living.
One evening Shivatosh came into the inner apartments and said to his wife: ‘The Master is here. He has some words of advice for you and bids you attend.’
‘I cannot go to him now,’ answered Damini. ‘I haven't the time.’
What? No time! Shivatosh went up nearer and found his wife seated in the gathering dusk, in front of the open safe, with her ornaments spread out before her. ‘What in the world is keeping you?’ inquired he.
‘I am arranging my jewels,’ was the reply.
So that was the reason for her lack of time. Indeed!
The next day, when Damini opened the safe, she found her jewel-box missing. ‘My jewels?’ she exclaimed, turning inquiringly to her husband.
‘But you offered them to the Master. Did not his call reach you at the very moment?—for he sees into the minds of men. He has deigned, in his mercy, to save you from the lure of pelf.’
Damini’s indignation rose to white heat.
‘Give me back my ornaments!’ she commanded.
‘Why, what will you do with them?’
‘They were my father’s gift to me. I would return them to him.’
‘They have gone to a better place,’ said Shivatosh. Instead of pandering to worldly needs they are dedicated to the service of devotees.’
That is how the tyrannical imposition of faith began. And the pious ritual of exorcism, in all its cruelty, continued to be practised in order to rid Damini’s mind of its mundane affections and desires.
So, while her father and her little brother were starving by inches, Damini had to prepare daily, with her own hands, meals for the sixty or seventy disciples who thronged the house with the Master. She would sometimes rebelliously leave out the salt, or contrive to get the viands scorched, but that did not avail to gain her any respite from her penance.
At this juncture Shivatosh died: and in departing he awarded his wife the supreme penalty for her want of faith,—he committed his widow, with all her belongings, to the guardianship of the Master.
The house was in a constant tumult with rising waves of fervour. Devotees kept streaming in from all quarters to sit at the feet of the Master. And yet Damini, who had gained the Presence without effort of her own, thrust aside her good fortune with contumely.
Did the Master call her for some special mark of his favour she would keep aloof, pleading a headache. If he had occasion to complain of some special omission of personal attention on her part, she would confess to have been away at the theatre. The excuse was lacking in truth, but not in rudeness.
The other women disciples were aghast at Damini’s ways. First, her attire was not such as widows[9] should affect. Secondly, she showed no eagerness to drink in the Master’s words of wisdom. Lastly, her demeanour had none of the reverential restraint which the Master’s presence demanded. W‘hat a shame,’ exclaimed they. ‘We have seen many awful women, but not one so outrageous.’
The Swami used to smile. ‘The Lord,’ said he, ‘takes a special delight in wrestling with a valiant opponent. When Damini has to own defeat, her surrender will be absolute.’
He began to display an exaggerated tolerance for her contumacy. That vexed Damini still more, for she looked on it as a more cunning form of punishment. And one day the Master caught her in a fit of laughter, mimicking to one of her companions the excessive suavity of his manner towards herself. Still he had not a word of rebuke, and repeated simply that the final dénouement would be all the more extraordinary, to which end the poor thing was but the instrument of Providence, and so herself not to blame.
This was how we found her when we first came. The dénouement was indeed extraordinary. I can hardly bring myself to write on further. Moreover, what happened is so difficult to tell. The network of suffering, which is woven behind the scenes, is not of any pattern set by the Scriptures, nor of our own devising. Hence the frequent discords between the inner and the outer life—discords that hurt, and wail forth in tears.
There came, at length, the dawn when the harsh crust of rebelliousness cracked and fell to pieces, and the flower of self-surrender came through and held up its dew-washed face. Damini’s service became so beautiful in its truth that it descended on the devotees like the blessing of the very Divinity of their devotions.
And when Damini’s lightning flashes had matured into a steady radiance, Satish looked on her and saw that she was beautiful; but I say this, that Satish gazed only on her beauty, failing to see Damini herself.
In Satish’s room there hung a portrait of the Swami sitting in meditation, done on a porcelain medallion. One day he found it on the floor,—in fragments. He put it down to his pet cat. But other little mischiefs began to follow, which were clearly beyond the powers of the cat. There was some kind of disturbance in the air, which now and again broke out in unseen electric shocks.
How others felt, I know not, but a growing pain gnawed at my heart. Sometimes I thought that this constant ecstasy of emotion was proving too much for me. I wanted to give it all up and run away. The old work of teaching the leather-dealers’ children seemed, in its unalloyed prose, to be now calling me back.
One afternoon when the Master was taking his siesta, and the weary disciples were at rest, Satish for some reason went off into his own room at this unusual hour. His progress was suddenly arrested at the threshold. There was Damini, her thick tresses dishevelled, lying prone on the floor, beating her head on it as she moaned: ‘Oh, you stone, you stone, have mercy on me, have mercy and kill me outright!’
Satish, trembling from head to foot with a nameless fear, fled from the room.
It was a rule with Swami Lilananda to go off once a year to some remote, out-of-the-way place, away from the crowd. With the month of Magh[10] came round the time for his journey. Satish was to attend on him.
I asked to go too. I was worn to the very bone with the incessant emotional excitement of our cult, and felt greatly in need of physical movement as well as of mental quiet.
The Master sent for Damini. ‘My little mother,’ he told her, ‘I am about to leave you for the duration of my travels. Let me arrange for your stay meanwhile with your aunt, as usual.’
‘I would accompany you,’ said Damini.
‘You could hardly bear it, I am afraid. Our journeying will be troublesome.’
‘Of course I can bear it,’ she answered. ‘Pray have no concern about any trouble of mine.’
Lilananda was pleased at this proof of Damini’s devotion. In former years, this opportunity had been Damini's holiday time,—the one thing to which she had looked forward through the preceding months. ‘Miraculous!’ thought the Swami. ‘How wondrously does even stone become as wax in the Lord’s melting-pot of emotion.’
So Damini had her way, and came along with us.
The spot we reached, after hours of tramping in the sun, was a little promontory on the seacoast, shaded by cocoa-nut palms. Profound was the solitude and the tranquillity which reigned there, as the gentle rustle of the palm tassels merged into the idle plash of the girdling sea. The place looked like a tired hand of the sleepy shore, limply fallen upon the surface of the waters. On this open hand stood a bluish-green hill, and inside the hill was a sculptured cave-temple of bygone days, which, for all its serene beauty, was the cause of much disquiet amongst antiquarians as to the origin, style, and subject-matter of its sculptures.
Our intention had been to return to the village where we had made our halt, after paying a visit to this temple. That was now seen to be impossible. The day was fast declining, and the moon was long past its full. Lilananda Swami at length decided that we should pass the night in the cave.
All four of us sat down to rest on the sandy soil beneath the cocoa-nut groves fringing the sea. The sunset glow bent lower and lower over the western horizon, as though Day was making its parting obeisance to approaching Night.
The Master’s voice broke forth in song—one of his own composition:
The day has waned, when at last we meet at the turning;
And as I try to see thy face, the last ray of evening fades into the night.
such complete rapport between singer, audience, and surroundings. Damini was affected to tears. The Swami went on to the second verse:
I shall not grieve that the darkness comes between thee and my sight,—
Only, for a moment, stand before me, that I may kiss thy feet and wipe them with my hair.
When he had come to the end, the placid eventide, enveloping sky and waters, was filled, like some ripe, golden fruit, with the bursting sweetness of melody.
Damini rose and went up to the Master. As she prostrated herself at his feet, her loose hair slipped off her shoulders and was scattered over the ground on either side. She remained long thus before she raised her head.
(From Satish’s Diary)
There were several chambers within the temple. In one of these I spread my blanket and laid myself down. The darkness pent up inside the cave seemed alive, like some great black monster, its damp breath bedewing my body. I began to be haunted by the idea that this was the first of all created animals, born the beginning of time, with no eyes or ears, but just one enormous appetite. Confined within this cavern for endless ages it knew nothing, having no mind; but having sensibility it felt; and wept and wept in silence.
Fatigue overpowered my limbs like a dead weight, but sleep came not. Some bird, or perhaps bat, flitted in from the outside, or out from the inside,—its wings beating the air as it flew from darkness to darkness; when the draught reached my body it sent a shiver through me, making my flesh creep.
I thought I would go and get some sleep outside. But I could not recollect the direction in which the entrance was. As I crawled on my hands and knees along the way which appeared the right one, I knocked against the cave wall. When I tried a different side, I nearly tumbled into a hollow in which the water dripping through the cracks had collected.
I crawled back to my blanket and stretched myself on it again. Again was I possessed with the fancy that I had been taken right into the creature’s maw and could not extricate myself; that I was the victim of a blind hunger which was licking me with its slimy saliva, through which I would be sucked and digested noiselessly, little by little.
I felt that only sleep could save me. My living, waking consciousness was evidently unable to bear such close embrace of this horrible, suffocating obscurity—fit only for the dead to suffer. I cannot say how long after it came upon me,—or whether it was really sleep at all,—but a thin veil of oblivion fell at last over my senses. And while in such half-conscious state I actually felt a deep breathing somewhere near my bare feet. Surely it was not that primeval creature of my imagining!
Then something seemed to cling about my feet. Some real wild animal this time,—was my first thought. But there was nothing furry in its touch. What if it was some species of serpent or reptile, of features and body unknown to me, of whose method of absorbing its prey I could form no idea? All the more loathsome seemed the softness of it,—of this terrible, unknown mass of hunger.
What between dread and disgust, I could not even utter a cry. I tried to push it away with ineffectual thrusts with my legs. Its face seemed to be touching my feet, on which its panting breath fell thickly. What kind of a face had it, I wondered. I launched a more vigorous kick as the stupor left me. I had at first supposed there was no fur, but what felt like a mane now brushed across my legs. I struggled up into a sitting posture.
Something stole away in the darkness. There was also a curious kind of sound. Could it have been sobbing?
- ↑ According to the Hindu Shastras the present age, the Kali Yuga, is the Dark Age when Dharma (civilisation) will be at its lowest ebb.
- ↑ Touching the feet of a revered elder, and then one’s own head, is called taking the dust of the feet. It is the formal way of doing reverence.
- ↑ The kirtan is a kind of devotional oratorio sung to the accompaniment of drums and cymbals, the libretto ranging over the whole gamut of human emotions, which are made the vehicle for communion with the Divine Lover. As their feelings get worked up, the singers begin to sway their bodies with, and finally dance to, the rhythm.
- ↑ The highest prize at the Calcutta University.
- ↑ Ungainly, ugly.
- ↑ The women’s part of the house.
- ↑ Women do not observe purdah with religious ascetics.
- ↑ Damini means Lightning.
- ↑ Hindu widows in Bengal are supposed to dress in simple white (sometimes plain brown silk), without border, or ornamentation.
- ↑ January-February.