CHAPTER IV
the wreck of sin
handra shekhar called out, "Shaibalini!"
Shaibalini got up, and sat by him. She then fixed her eyes upon his face, and instantly fell on the ground, overpowered with emotion; her lips touched his feet, as if, to beg his forgiveness with a kiss. Chandra Shekhar raised her up, and made her sit, supporting her feebled body on his arms. Shaibalini began to weep loudly, and again fell on Chandra Shekhar's feet—she said, "Oh! What will be my fate now!"
"Why did you want to see me!" inquired Chandra Shekharcalmly.
Shaibalini controlled her tears and wiped her eyes. She then said in an exceedingly calm and sombre voice, "It seems, I shall not live long."
Shaibalini now shuddered at the recollection of what she saw in her dreams. Resting her head on her little palm, she remained silent for a time and then said,
"My life has only a few days more to run out, and so my desire to see you, before my death, became very strong within me. But. then, who will believe in what I say, and why should people believe me at all? How can the fallen woman, who has forsaken her husband, sincerely wish to behold her lord again?" Shaibalini then burst into an unnatural laughter, indicative of her grief and remorse.
"There is no reason to disbelieve you," said Chandra Shekhar in an exceedingly kind manner. "I know that you were forcibly taken away from home."
"Is it a sin to commit suicide?" suddenly inquired Shaibalini. She then fixed her eyes upon Chandra Shekhar—they were full of tears, and looked like two beautiful lilies floating on water.
Chandra Shekhar. Yes, it is a great sin. Why do you want to put an end to your life?
All on a sudden Shaibalini again shuddered, and said, "No, my heart fails, I cannot court death; I fear, I shall fall into that horrible hell before me!"
Chandra Shekhar. You will be saved from the tortures of hell, if you undergo a penance for your sins.
Shaibalini. What form of penance can save me from the tortures of the hell that is within me?
Chandra Shekhar. What do you mean?
Shaibalini. These hills are visited by divine beings; I cannot say what mysterious change they have brought in me—I dream hell all day and night.
Chandra Shekhar noticed that Shaibalini's eyes were fixed upon some object in the direction of the entrance to the cave—it seemed, she was looking at it very closely. He saw that her already pale face was growing paler and her eyes were getting dilated more and more every moment—she began to take hurried and heavy breaths, and every hair of her body stood on its end, as she began to shiver, perhaps, with fear.
Chandra Shekhar asked, "What is it, you are looking at, so minutely?"
Shaibalini made no answer—she was staring, as before. Chandra Shekhar again asked,
"What makes you tremble with fear?"
Shaibalini kept mute like a statue. Chandra Shekhar was surprised—he looked Shaibalini in the face for a time, but could not understand anything. All on a sudden Shaibalini burst into a fearful scream—she cried out in a piteous voice,
"My lord, save me—save me from the impending danger! You are my husband and my protector; who else can save me if you do not come to my help?" Immediately, as she concluded, Shaibalini fainted, and fell on the ground.
Chandra Shekhar fetched water from the nearest spring and began to sprinkle it on Shaibalini's face—he also began to fan her by means of his sheet. A little after, Shaibalini regained her consciousness—she sat up, and began to weep in silence. Chandra Shekhar then asked,
"What have you been seeing all this time?"
"The hell!" replied Shaibalini briefly, in a fear-stricken voice.
Chandra Shekhar felt that Shaibalini had been suffering from the tortures of hell, though alive. After a while Shaibalini said,
"I cannot make up my mind to die—I am awfully afraid of hell. The moment my life will be out, I shall be thrown into that horrible region of torture. Anyhow I must live; but how can I live alone for twelve long years? Oh, the hideous vision of hell is before me, both when I am conscious or otherwise."
Chandra Shekhar said, "Don't be afraid—continued fasting and mental afflictions have caused all these horrible dreams. Physicians will ascribe them to weakness of brain. Yo had better go to Bedagram and build a hut at the outskirt of the village. Sundari will come there and look after you—she will also be able to arrange for your treatment."
Shaibalini did not say anything—she closed her eyes, and saw, before her, the image of Sundari, standing at one extremity of the cave, in a threatening attitude. What was more strange, it seemed to her that Sundari's stature gradually grew bigger, till at last it attained the height of a stalwart oak—she wore an awfully hideous and horrible appearance. It appeared to the diseased mind of poor Shaibalini that she was actually beholding, at the entrance to the cave, the hell with all its fearful associations—the noxious smell of rotten carcasses which she had been smelling in her dreams before—the same fearful hissings of blazing fire— the same painful sensation of heat and cold—that very mysterious legion of snakes, and lastly the very same hideous worms which seemed to have clouded the sky by their number—began to torment her again! The terrible infernal beings again appeared before her and this time with a rope made of prickly thorns and a fearful rod of scorpions—they bound down Shaibalini with that mysterious rope, and began to strike her with the deadly instrument of torture in their hand, as they dragged her away along with them. The stalwart figure of Sundari, it seemed to Shaibalini, raised her hands and shouted to the hellish beings, "Strike—strike her with your rod of torture. I repeatedly asked her to come away with me from Foster's budgrow, but she did not follow my advice. So, inflict on her as much pain as you can. I am an eye-witness to her sins, and so I say, punish her wicked soul with all your infernal tortures." Shaibalini with folded hands, her face turned upward, and her eyes streaming with tears, was imploring for mercy; but the strange and stern figure of Sundari would not listen to her entreaties, and seemed to shout as before, "Strike—strike hard that fallen woman. I am chaste and virtuous, whereas she is a traitor to her husband."
Shaibalini's eyes became dilated, and her face grew pale at the strange vision before her, and she remained silent in dumb surprise, with vacant looks. Chandra Shekhar became anxious—he fully understood that all these were the first symptoms of a lurking malady. He said,
"Shaibalini! Come along with me."
At first, Shaibalini did not hear him. Chandra Shekhar then touched her body to draw her attention, and repeatedly asked her to follow him; Shaibalini suddenly stood up, and with a fear-stricken voice said,
"Don't delay—hasten off—let us quit this place at once" Forthwith as she concluded, she ran towards the entrance to the cave—Chandra Shekhar followed her with quick steps; in her attempt to get away quickly, in the dim light within the cave, her feet struck against a stone, and she fell down on the ground. After that, she said no word and uttered no sound. Chandra Shekhar found that Shaibalini had fainted again. He took her up on his arms, and carried her to that lovely cool spot outside the cave, where a little fountain was pouring out its water, with a murmuring melody. Chandra Shekhar began to sprinkle the cool and refreshing water of that mountain-spring over her face. This palliative and also the fresh life-giving breeze in that lovely open space, soon restored to Shaibalini her lost consciousness.
"Where am I now?," inquired Shaibalini, as she opened her eyes.
"I have brought you out of the cave," replied Chandra Shekhar in a gentle voice.
All on a sudden Shaibalini again shuddered—fear again seized her—in an unnatural voice she asked, "Who are you?"
Chandra Shekhar too got frightened—he said, "What is it that upsets you so much? Why can't you recognise me? Look here, I am your husband."
Shaibalini laughed aloud, and said,
"My sweet love like the golden flies,
From flower to flower their sweetness tries;
Have you dear, your fond path forgotten,
And so come to this prickly thorn?—
Are you Lawrence Foster?"
Chandra Shekhar could feel that the Goddess of consciousness, who adorn the human nature and lends it that charm and grace which characterise it, was about to leave Shaibalini, and a hideous madness was gradually occupying what was once Her holy temple of gold. Chandra Shekhar wept a little. He then in an exceedingly mild and endearing tone began to call Shaibalini repeatedly by her name. Shaibalini again burst into a shrill unnatural laughter, and said,
"Who is Shaibalini? Stay, let me reflect! Yes, there was a girl whose name was Shaibalini, and there was a boy whose name was Pratap; one night the boy was suddenly transformed into a snake, and the girl into a frog, and they both entered into a Jungle. The snake afterwards swallowed up the frog; I have seen it with my own eyes. Well, are you Lawrence Foster?"
Chandra Shekhar, in a voice surcharged with deep emotions, exclaimed, "Oh, my venerable preceptor! what is this? Oh! What have you done?"
Shaibalini now sang,
"My life's sweet and beloved mate,
Thou hast, by trapping in thy net
The wily charmer of my heart,
Made love's stream to overflow its skirt."
She then said, "Who is the charmer of my heart? It is Chandra Shekhar. Who has been caught in the trap? Chandra Shekhar. What is flooded? Chandra Shekhar. What are the two banks? I know not. Well, do you know Chandra Shekhar?"
Chandra Shekhar breathed a deep sigh, and said, "Can't you recognise me? I am Chandra Shekhar."
Shaibalini threw herself upon him and clasped him in her arms. She did not say a word, and began to weep—she wept bitterly—her tears drenched him completely. Chandra Shekhar too wept much.
"I will go with you," said Shaibalini weeping.
"Come, let us go," said Chandra Shekhar in a consoling voice.
"You won't beat me?" inquired Shaibalini in a piteous tone.
"Certainly not", replied Chandra Shekhar, feelingly.
Chandra Shekhar rose up with a sigh—Shaibalini too got up. He then proceeded with a heavy heart, and poor distracted Shaibalini followed him. She cried, laughed and sang as she went on.