453497Cornelli — A Great ChangeJohanna Spyri

CHAPTER IX

A GREAT CHANGE

Next morning Mux had hardly opened his eyes when he desired to go again straightway to Cornelli, for this had been promised him the night before. Before he succeeded, however, he had to submit to his usual fate in the morning. He ran into the room at last, neatly washed and combed and with cheeks shining like two red apples. Cornelli was already sitting in a corner of the room, listening attentively to Agnes’ playing. He flew towards her and saw his beloved book already in her hands.

“Oh, now we shall read and tell stories all day long,” he called out happily. “All the others have to go to school.”

But Mux had forgotten that breakfast came first of all. After the meal the two sisters departed, but Dino knocked and clamored for Cornelli to come to him. Mux loudly protested against this and only calmed down when Cornelli promised to keep him company during Dino’s rest hour. He kept on objecting and murmuring to himself even after she had gone.

Cornelli was quite thrilled and overcome by the thought that anybody should love her so, and it did her more good than anything else. As soon as she came to Dino’s room he asked her if she would read to him, too, for he had found out how much she enjoyed reading to Mux out of his picture book.

“Have you entertaining books, too?” asked Cornelli with hesitation. In her mind she saw her own beautiful books at home, that she had left alone because so many things in them had been unintelligible.

“I should say so! You just ought to see them,” said Dino. “Please take down the book called ‘Funny Journeys.’ There are pictures in it, too. They are not as big as in the other book and are not colored, but they are so comical that they make one laugh all the time.”

Cornelli got the book down, and in a little while merry peals of laughter filled the room. The mother, who heard, was happily smiling and saying to herself: “No, no, all is not yet lost.”

So the week passed by. Cornelli spent most of her time reading aloud to Dino and to Mux. She grew more eager all the time in this occupation, and if Mux would suddenly want to play with soldiers, Cornelli would say: “You can easily play that alone. Let me read this and later I’ll tell you all about it.” So she had soon finished reading the whole big book.

Cornelli had so far scarcely become acquainted with the two girls, and Nika had rarely spoken to her. On Saturday morning the mother entered Dino’s room just after Cornelli had finished reading such a funny tale that both children still laughed aloud at the remembrance.

“Children, to-morrow Cornelli’s father is expecting to hear from me. He will want to know if he is to come to fetch her home, or if he is to leave her here another week. Cornelli herself shall decide, but we all want her to stay.”

“Don’t go, don’t go! Tell him not to come for a long while,” Mux implored her. The little boy had slipped in behind his mother and was keeping a tight hold on Cornelli, as if her papa might come at once to pull her away.

“No, no, Cornelli, you won’t go away yet,” Dino now said. “To-morrow I am allowed to get up for the first time and you must be there to see if I can still walk. After that you must stay here till I go to school; won’t you, Cornelli? You don’t want to go, do you?”

“You must not urge her too much,” said the mother. “Maybe Cornelli would rather go home, and by your talking you might keep her from saying so.” But being urged by the two children was such a joy to Cornelli that she never even hesitated.

“I should love to stay,” she said.

“Oh, how splendid!” Dino exclaimed. “Please ask for at least two or three weeks, Mama. It is so nice to have Cornelli with us.”

“I shall ask Cornelli’s father to let us have his daughter a while longer,” said the mother, “I cannot possibly settle the time, her father will do that.”

“Oh, yes, a while longer is just right. Then it is so easy to ask for a little more time, for we can say that we meant that by a little longer," said Dino.

The same day, later on, while Dino was resting, Cornelli was sitting with Mux. They were both so happy over the prospect of remaining together that Mux opened the piano and asked Cornelli to sing with him. Cornelli could not play, so promised that she would try to sing. She asked Mux to choose a song, but he knew none.

"You sing one," he proposed, "and I might know it, too."

Cornelli was just in the mood to sing once more. She began a song with her bright, full voice and Mux listened admiringly.

The snow's on the meadow,
The snow's all around,
The snow lies in heaps
All over the ground.
Hurrah, oh hurrah!
All over the ground.

Oh cuckoo from the woods,
Oh flowers so bright,
Oh, kindliest sun,
Come and bring us delight!
Hurrah, oh hurrah!
Come and bring us delight!

When the swallow comes back
And the finches all sing,
I sing and I dance
For joy of the Spring.
Hurrah, oh hurrah!
For joy of the Spring.

Suddenly the door flew open and Agnes burst into the room.

"But why didn't you ever say anything?" she cried out. "To think of it! Why did you never say a word, Cornelli?"

"But what should I have said?" Cornelli asked, very much frightened.

"You must not be afraid," Mux now calmed her, "I'll help you, if she should want to hurt you."

"Don't be so unnaturally stupid, Mux!" his sister ejaculated as she ran to the next room. Here her mother was already standing in the open door. "Have you heard it, Mother? Come out and let Cornelli sing her song again!"

“Yes, indeed! I have heard it with pleasure and great wonder,” said the mother, approaching Cornelli. “You have a voice, dear child, that we all should love to hear again. Have you often sung before?”

“Oh yes,” said Cornelli. “Martha has taught me many songs, but——”

“What do you mean by but?” Agnes quickly interrupted her. “I know now what a voice you have. I have to go quickly to my music lesson, but you must sing a lot with me to-night. No buts will be allowed then.”

“Oh, Cornelli, won’t you sing with us to-night?” asked the mother kindly. “We know now how well it sounds, and I do not see why you should still hesitate.”

“I can’t sing properly when I am afraid, for then it does not sound well,” Cornelli replied.

“Why should you be afraid?” asked the mother. “You know us all so well now.”

“Oh, because I am not like Agnes and Nika. I can’t do anything they do and I don’t look the way they do,” said Cornelli. With these words she frowned again in the old way, so that one could see it through the thick fringes of hair that covered her forehead.

The mother said no more and went out.

“Just stay with me, Cornelli; then you don’t have to be afraid of anything,” Mux said protectingly. “I am afraid of nothing in the whole world—except of the dark,” he added quickly, for he had seen Cornelli’s penetrating eyes looking at him through her hair, and felt that he had to tell the truth, for she was sure to find him out. “No,” he continued, “I won’t be even afraid of that if you stay with me all the time.”

Agnes had finished her school work sooner than ever that day. She ran to the piano and called to Cornelli: “Come here! Mux can play alone, for we must sing now.”

So Cornelli went up to the piano.

“I shall sing the first stanza of this song and then you can sing it with me the second time,” Agnes said and began: “The beauteous moon is risen.”

“Oh, I have known that song a long time. Shall I sing the second voice?” asked Cornelli.

“What? Can you really sing second voice? Can you really do it? Oh, that would be wonderful! Go ahead and do it!” said Agnes excitedly.

So the two girls sang alone together, for Nika had not finished her work, and the regular time for the evening songs had not yet come. Agnes was radiantly happy while she was making experiments with a new voice.

Nika was still absorbed in her work, the mother only entered the room now and then, and as Agnes was singing with her, Cornelli did not have the feeling that anybody was listening. So she sang quite freely and let her whole, full voice flow out. Agnes became more eager all the time, and it really sounded as if a whole chorus were singing in the room.

At last the mother stood still, and Nika, lifting her head from her work, listened, too.

When the song was done, Agnes clapped her hands and said: “Oh, Cornelli, your voice is as clear as a bell! Oh, if I only had a voice like that! What wonderful things I could sing then! Do you know many songs, Cornelli? Just tell me all you know.”

Cornelli looked over the song book before her. She knew quite a number of the songs in it, for Martha had taught her many.

Agnes was in raptures: “Oh, now our evening songs won’t be like a feeble chirping any more; now everything, everything will be different!” she cried out. Suddenly struck with a new idea, she ran over to her other music books.

She got a book of songs for two voices, which she had only been able to use at her music lessons and never at home, for Nika could not join her. “Come, Cornelli, try to sing after me now. This is your part, and when you know it, I’ll sing mine. Here are your notes,” she instructed Cornelli, and with that she began to sing.

Cornelli did not know the notes very well, because Mr. Maelinger had not instructed her very deeply in that subject. Her ear, however, was correct, and she could immediately repeat a melody. Agnes began with the easiest songs, and it did not take Cornelli any time to learn them. She soon knew where to pause and where to take up her part again. So a second piece was started and soon a third. Then they repeated them all again and before long they could sing three songs quite well.

“Once more, once more,” Agnes urged her. It went better every time, and in the end they sang together perfectly. Agnes jumped up from her seat and exclaimed: “Oh, you are a wonderful Cornelli! Who would have thought it? Please do not go home yet. Stay here, and then we can sing together every day. Have you heard it, Mama?”

The mother affirmed it and told them that she and Dino had both enjoyed the singing. Dino had asked to have his door kept open, for he had wanted to hear it all.

“Do you know what we’ll do, Cornelli?” said Agnes. “To-morrow morning we’ll study a festive duet. We shall greet Dino with it when he comes back to this room again for the first time.”

Cornelli gladly agreed.

It was time now for their accustomed evening song, which had been put off longer than usual that day. Agnes was of the decided opinion that it was not suitable to end this day with a mild evening song. She suggested a loud hymn of praise and thanks. She started it with enthusiasm, and all the others soon joined.

The unexpected joy and great friendliness Agnes had shown had made Cornelli so happy and astonished that she sat a long time on her bed in the little room. She was wondering to herself why she could never be quite happy in spite of everybody’s goodness, but she knew soon enough why this was so. Her old fear had not left her. She fully realized that she looked different from other children and that her horns would get worse, till they could not be hidden any more. Then everybody would think what Mux had thought, even if they did not say it.

Next morning, when Cornelli had just gotten up, Mrs. Halm entered her room. “Cornelli,” she said, taking the child’s hand, “you have made us all so happy! You have done much for Dino by helping him to pass many pleasant hours, and you have entertained my little restless Mux so wonderfully that he can hardly live without you any more. I should like to do something for you now; I should love to make you look festive to-day and get rid forever of everything that disfigures you.”

The mother had already begun to smooth out the child’s thick hair.

“Oh no, oh no, please don’t do it!” Cornelli cried out, “then everything will be lost. I want to go home, oh, I must go home! Oh, they will all laugh at me and they won’t like me any more. Oh, you don’t know how it is.”

“I know everything, dear child,” the mother said quietly. “Dino has told me everything. Don’t you know, child, that I love you? You know, Cornelli, that I would not do anything that might hurt you the least bit, or that would not help you. I want to free you from an error, Cornelli.”

“No, no, it is not an error, surely not,” Cornelli called out in her great anxiety. “My cousin said it and Miss Grideelen said it, too. They saw it, and I know it. Oh, please don’t brush my hair away.”

“Cornelli,” the mother went on calmly, “the ladies told you they saw little horns on your forehead, that got bigger every time you wrinkled up your brow. You are afraid that this is really so and that it is getting worse. You understood it in a way they did not mean. They only wanted to tell you that when you frowned you looked as if you had horns on your forehead, and they said it to keep you from frowning. They meant well by you, but you misunderstood them. But you can understand me. Just let me help you to be happy again.

“Have you any confidence in me, Cornelli? Tell me, do you think that I would do anything that would make you repulsive in the eyes of everyone? Do you believe that? I know you don’t, child!” Cornelli only groaned a little.

With nimble hands the mother had in the meantime kept on smoothing and combing the child’s heavy hair. It already lay beautifully parted on both sides of her face. The brown, wavy hair framed a snow-white brow, for not a ray of sunshine had penetrated through the hair all summer long. The mother finished the two heavy tresses and wound them about Cornelli’s head like a crown. Smilingly the mother looked into Cornelli’s face. The great change had thrilled her with joy.

“Now come with me to the children. We shall see if they can notice any change,” she said, and taking the little girl’s hand, she led her away. Cornelli was extremely glad to enter the room at the mother’s side, for she would not have dared to go alone. When the door opened, she looked shyly at the floor.

Mux had already been waiting for his companion and now ran to meet her. “What have you done, Cornelli?” he cried out in sudden surprise. “Your forehead looks quite clean and neat, and you have shiny eyes like a canary bird, and you don’t look like an owl any more.”

“Why Cornelli! You are transformed!” Agnes exclaimed. “Just let me see you. Make a little room, Mux! No, I don’t know you anymore. It is fortunate you did it, for it is a pleasure to look at you now.”

“Your mother has done it,” Cornelli explained confusedly, for she was quite overcome at all these manifestations of joy.

Nika also glanced up at her. “You are a different child, Cornelli, and I do not see how you could ever have gotten the way you were.”

These words were said in such a charming manner that a deep sensation of well-being filled Cornelli. She tried to fight against it, however, for she did not think it possible that she should suddenly become freed from her horrible, sickening fear.

Agnes was very anxious to practice their song for the festive reception of the newly risen Dino, and Cornelli, too, was filled with ardor. The two children kept up their singing quite a while, for Agnes could not weary of trying the songs for two voices which she had never before been able to use.

Dino did not come until lunch time. Though he was still very pale, he felt extremely lively. “Hurrah, Cornelli!” he cried out as he entered the living room. “Now you look again the way you used to in Iller-Stream when you forgot to pull your curtains over your brow. You even look better than that, Cornelli, you look perfectly splendid! Another hurrah for this great joy!”

The next moment a surprise came for Dino: the lovely festive song which Agnes and Cornelli were singing in his honor. The voice of the latter was full of purity and strength, and Dino kept on signalling to Nika over and over again, saying in a low voice: “Do you hear it? Do you see it? Do you notice it at last?”

It was quite evident that two had not been of the same opinion about Cornelli till that day.

So they all had a merry feast. In Cornelli’s heart the feeling of delicious well-being gradually began to drive away all other sensations. Her old gaiety broke forth boundlessly and roused all the others as well to great merriment and joy. Dino looked quite well again, and his eyes fairly beamed with happiness. Even the mother joined in their gay mood, and she had to glance over and over again at her two daughters, who had seldom shown such unclouded joy. She heaved a secret sigh, however, and asked herself: I wonder how long this happiness will last, for we have hard times before us.

“Wasn’t I right, after all?” Dino said to his sisters, when Cornelli had retired and the family separated at bedtime. The sisters till now had made disparaging remarks to him about Cornelli. “We do not see what attracts you in her,” they had said. “We don’t understand how you can find her entertaining,” and so on.

When Cornelli was alone in her room that night, she felt as in a dream. What had happened to her? Was it really true that the great sorrow which had weighed on her and had taken all her joy away had forever disappeared? The mother had told her firmly that it had been an error, and the children had proved it to be so by their reception of her. So she could be happy again as she had always been. Cornelli was filled with joy and praise to God at this thought.

“How wonderfully God has led me,” she said in her heart. She remembered how anxiously she had prayed to Him to prevent her from being sent to town. Now she had come to town, but in such a different way from what she had feared! She had been freed from her trouble by going away. Martha had certainly been right and she would always try to remember this. In the future she would pray to God that she might do everything according to His will, and she made up her mind that she would never again try to force the fulfilment of her own wishes. She felt that she owed the good Lord in Heaven especial praises, so she lay down to sleep quite late, and because of her happiness, even stayed awake a long time after her prayers were said.

“I have to tell you something, Cornelli,” said the mother next day, when all the family was peacefully gathered around the supper table. “You know that I have written to your father asking him to let you stay here a little longer. He has answered me, saying that he would be very pleased if his little daughter could stay with us for a year and could take all the lessons that my daughters are taking; but he leaves you free to decide about it. So you must write to your father to let him know the answer to his proposal.

“Oh, you must stay here, Cornelli. Won’t you please stay?” Dino exclaimed. “Then you can be here till summer time and we two can go back to Iller-Stream together, for it is quite settled that I am going again to our good old Martha.”

“And I’ll go, too,” Mux said with conviction. “Do you know, Cornelli,” he whispered into her ear, “I’ll stay with you all the time in your own house and Dino can go alone to old Martha.”

Agnes was simply enchanted with this new prospect. “Oh, how wonderful, how wonderful!” she exclaimed over and over again. “Now we can have singing lessons together and sing again at home. Oh, that is too wonderful!”

Nika also begged Cornelli to stay. “I hope you will tell your father that you intend to remain with us, Cornelli,” she said. “We are only just beginning to know you well.”

Cornelli’s eyes sparkled with pleasure, for now the whole family wanted to keep her with them. Suddenly a thought flashed through her. When her father had threatened to send her to town for a year, she had been terribly upset, and now the year spent in town with this family seemed like pure pleasure. How different everything had been from what she had thought and feared.

“I should love to stay here!” she exclaimed with deep emotion. “Can I write to Papa now?” That suited Mrs. Halm exactly. Sitting down beside Cornelli, she also wrote to Mr. Hellmut, and both letters were sent at once.

Two days later Mr. Hellmut was sitting at the breakfast table, looking at his mail. First of all he opened a fat envelope which had come to him from town. There were two letters in it which caused him great surprise. Mrs. Halm wrote that all the members of her family had joyfully received his proposal to leave Cornelli with them for a longer stay. She told him that they had all become so fond of Cornelli that she would have left behind a feeling of real loss.

Cornelli’s letter read as follows:

Dear Papa:

I should love to stay here, for the mother and all the children are very good to me, and I love them dearly. I should also like to learn lots and lots of things. Nika and Agnes know so much and are so clever, and I should be so glad to learn what they know. I shall be unspeakably happy if you will let me stay. Please give my love to Martha, Esther, and Matthew.

Your Cornelli.

After reading the letters, the Director shook his head. “What on earth has happened?” he said to himself. “A few weeks have hardly passed since they told me that this child could not be set to rights, and I have myself seen how stubborn she was and how strangely she behaved. And what a change already! However, I must not take literally what has probably been written in a moment of excitement.”

Mr. Hellmut was very glad about Cornelli’s intention to remain in town, for thus his greatest care had been taken from him. A lovely woman, who with her children had made a most favorable impression on him, had promised to devote herself to his child, and he only wondered how long the present arrangement would last.

Mrs. Halm had soon arranged a regular course of studies for Cornelli. Agnes was very anxious for her to start music lessons right away, for she thought that that was the most important thing. Cornelli herself was eager to do this, for she wanted to learn everything that Nika and Agnes were learning. So she threw herself with fresh energy into all the fields of study that were opened to her.

Dino also was going to school, for he had entirely recovered. Every morning the four children started out gaily, talking eagerly while they walked down the street, until they finally separated for their various schools. If they met again on their way home, they were still more lively, for they would tell each other all their experiences. Cornelli surpassed them all in that respect. She had the talent of describing everything in such a funny and vivid fashion that she made them all laugh.

Mux alone was unhappy in these days, for he had lost his beloved companion. Full of anger, he would meet the four laughing school children when they were coming up the stairs and would say: “If I owned all the schools I would certainly burn them.”

“But I hope not all the teachers, too, Mux,” said Dino, “for then one would have to tell an even worse tale about you than you were telling about Agnes.”

The door between Cornelli’s and the sisters’ room was always open now, for they all had wished it. There was not a single evening on which they did not make use of the last moment for talking to each other about their mutual interests.

Cornelli was filled with admiration for Nika and for everything she did. She could not understand how Nika, who was so lovely and could do such wonderful things, could have a sorrow. She had never forgotten about it, because she had often noticed that the young girl suffered from some grief.

Even Agnes often stopped laughing quite suddenly. She would say: “Yes, Cornelli, it is easy for you to be jolly. It is easy for you.” So Cornelli knew that Agnes also carried a care about with her. When Agnes frowned and made dreadful wrinkles, Cornelli was quite sure that then her sorrow was hurting her. She would have loved to help her, but she had never asked her friends about it. She knew that she had been glad when nobody had asked her about her own trouble.

One day it happened that Agnes came home from her music lesson quite upset and terribly excited. “Oh, Mama,” she called from the door, “the teacher has given us the pieces today which we have to play for our examinations. He has given me the most difficult one, and while giving it to me he said: ‘I shall really make something fine out of you.’”

Agnes was throwing her music sheets away as if they were her greatest enemies; then she ran away to her room. There she threw herself down on a chair and began to sob loudly. Cornelli had followed her, for she was filled with sympathy. Putting her arms about Agnes, she said: “Tell me, Agnes, what makes you cry. I know what it is like to have to cry like that. But why do you do it now, when your teacher has just praised you?”

“What good is that to me?” Agnes burst out. “How does it help me to play ever so well? What good would it ever do me even to practice day and night? Nika and I can only keep on one year more, and then everything is over. Then she can’t paint any more and I can’t have any more music lessons, for we shall have to become dressmakers. We won’t even have time to go through the higher classes in school. I would a thousand times rather travel through the world and sing in front of the houses for pennies—yes, I’ll do that!”

“Can’t your mother help you?” asked Cornelli, remembering the mother’s help in her own case.

“No, she can’t; and she is very unhappy herself. There is not a soul on earth who could help us, for our guardian says that it just has to be.”

Cornelli was quite crushed by this explanation, for now she understood quite well why Nika often had such sad eyes. The hopeless prospect made Cornelli’s heart heavy, too. When Agnes had had such a passionate outbreak, she did not regain her composure for several days. Then Nika would not say a word, either, and the mother only looked very sadly at her children.

Then Dino also became silent, for he knew what tormented his mother and his sisters. He would have loved to help them, but he knew no way. So Cornelli could not laugh any more, either, and her friend’s great sorrow weighed on her, too, for she had experienced a heavy grief herself and had not forgotten what it was like.