Departmental Ditties and Ballads and Barrack-Room Ballads/A Ballad of Burial

 

A BALLAD OF BURIAL

"Saint Praxed's ever was the Church for peace."

If down here I chance to die,
Solemnly I beg you take
All that is left of "I"
To the Hills for old sake's sake.
Pack, and pack me thoroughly,
In the ice that used to slake
Drinks I drank when I was dry—
This observe for old sake's sake.


To the railway station hie,
There a single ticket take
For Umballa—goods-train—I
Shall not mind delay or shake.
I shall rest contentedly
Spite of clamour coolies make;
Thus in frozen dignity
Send me up for old sake's sake.


Next the sleepy van Babu wake,
Book a Kalka van "for four."
Few, I think, will care to make
Journeys with me any more
As they used to do of yore.
I shall need a "special" break—
Thing I never took before—
Get me one for old sake's sake.


After that—arrangements make,
No hotel will take me in,
And a bullock's back would break
'Neath the teak and leaden skin.
Tonga-ropes are frail and thin,
Or, did I a back seat take,
In a tonga I might spin,
Do your best for old sake's sake.


After that—your work is done.
Recollect a Padre must
Mourn the dear departed one—
Throw the ashes and the dust.
Don't go down at once. I trust
You will find excuse to "snake
Three days' casual on the bust,"—
Get your fun for old sake's sake.


I could never stand the Plains,
Think of blazing June and May,
Think of those September rains
Yearly till the Judgment Day!
I should never rest in peace,
I should sweat and lie awake.
Rail me then, on my decease,
To the Hills for old sake's sake.