Elemoont/Chapter 22

in which Big and Small Cosmogrunts suddenly appeared on the horizon and then the Big Cosmogrunt…What did the Big Cosmogrunt do? You are right. He grunted!

While the cosmic–cylindrical pirates ate heartily ice–cream in captured by them the penguins' spaceship, the Elemoont, the Cat, and the Hare hold a short council of war. They were seated in arm–chairs before the control desk and watched the pirates' feast looking at the big screen. "The Crocomuzzle is eating already the ninety–ninth portion," said the Elemoont who very wanted ice–cream, "And where do it all getting in?"

"And Tusk is eating one hundred and sixty–first portion," remarked the Cat, "If he eat one more portion, he catch tonsillitis."

"It seems some pirates already catch tonsillitis," the Hare said, "Have a look at them."

Really, some pirates stopped to eat the ice–cream and began loudly sneezed and coughed. Two or three of them got the pirate’s traveling thermometers out of their large pockets and worriedly put them under their arms.

"That suits us down to the ground," said the Elemoont, "If cosmic–cylindrical tonsillitis sap the pirates' spirits, we can liberate penguins and fly in their ship." "It will be remarkable, "agreed the Cat, "But for it we must make free not only penguins. We must make free and their spaceship also. Suppose the pirates will be ill straight at the spaceship."

Meanwhile one of the pirates deafeningly sneezed and croaked, "Hi, Tusk! It seems tonsillitis sapped my spirit. Tonsi…Aaaah…pp…"

"Stop, Box!" severely said Tusk, and the pirate that was named as Box obediently stopped sneezing at a half–sneeze, "Who does you cut?"

"Tchkhyyy!!" ended Box his sneezing and said, "Well, who can cut yogurtical pirate overeating by ice–cream? You amaze me, Tusk."

"Tonsillitis!" guessed Tusk.

"Cosmic–cylindrical tonsillitis," added Crocomuzzle, "Ice–cream was too cold again!"

"Again tonsillitis!" whined the pirates, "Again mixtures and mustard plasters!"

"Our fate is very hard," said Tusk, "At first to the boarding, then ice–cream and finally thermometers."

"It's right," pronounced suddenly the Big Cylindrical Computer, "I always treat them after any boarding. It bothers me!"

"Do you sick of submitting to the pirates?" ingratiatingly asked the Cat, "You are right. It isn't the right work for you. You can be the captain of this ship. The Captain–Computer! It rings proudly!"

"Do you think so?" asked the Computer, "Really does it ring proudly?"

"Of course!" said the Cat," "You may give orders to yourself: ‘Left the helm!’ or ‘Right the helm!’ or ‘To board!’"

"Hi! What a rebellion on the ship?" asked Tusk, "Who does give orders to himself? What talk for?"

"We simply have a chart," quickly said the Cat and thought, "Oh, it escapes my lips!"

"I'll show you the chat!" gloomily promised Tusk and gave the order, "All go back! It is too cold here to be sick with tonsillitis. And the penguins' ship we'll take in tow."

"It will be done, captain!" said Crocomuzzle, "We don't eat all ice–cream here."

"Aaah…tchkchy!" added Box, and pirates started to jump on the side of their spaceship.

"Do you want to be a captain?" purred in his thoughts the Cat, "Then do it!"

"I don't mind, but how can I do it?" replied the Computer also in his thoughts (all Big Cylindrical Computers have telepathic abilities), "I am not programmed for rebellion."

"And what are you programmed for?"

"For ‘to board’."

"Damn it!"

"What did he say?" asked the Elemoont in a whisper (he forgot from agitation that he also was a telepathist).

"Nothing," answered the Cat," "This iron box has no indispensable program."

"I spoke to you, we must run away from here till there was an opportunity!" hissed the Hare.

"Hold your tongue!" roared Tusk. "Now I'll look into who want to be the captain here!"

However, at that time, the siren howled and the Big Cylindrical Computer impassivity reported, "Big and Small Cosmogrunts are straight on the course."

"What? Together?" was amazed Crocomuzzle.

"Together," confirmed the Computer.

"Woe is us! Woe is us!" complained the pirates.

"What are the Cosmogrunts?" thought the Elemoont.

"Oh, Cosmogrunts are Cosmogrunts!" gave a mental answer the Cat.

"We must run away!" added the Hare.

"However, what a danger do they present?" thought again the Elemoont.

"They too loudly grunt," the Cat explained, "If the Big Cosmogrunt grunts, the Cylindrical Universe will crack, and if the Small Cosmogrunt grunts it will disperse to small pieces!"

The Elemoont looked over out the porthole and saw the Big Cosmogrunt. "It's an imposing spectacle!" said he, "And where is the Small Cosmogrunt?"

"You can't see him. He is too small," remarked the Cat.

"Stop engine!!!" bellowed Tusk, "Full speed back!!!" (All cosmic–cylindrical pirates use the sea terminology when they get upset).

But here the Big Cosmogrunt GRUNTED!