A Ballplayer’s Day
‘‘Sweet are the uses of advertisement.”
OLD SONG
The famous pitcher woke at eight
To one of GUFF’S ALARUM CLOCKS,
Put on a suit of AERO-GREAT,
And donned a pair of SILKO-SOX.
To one of GUFF’S ALARUM CLOCKS,
Put on a suit of AERO-GREAT,
And donned a pair of SILKO-SOX.
Then, lathered well with SMEAREM’S SOAP,
He shaved with BOREM’S RUSTLESS BLADE;
Did on a suit of heliotrope—
THE KAMPUS KUT in every shade.
He shaved with BOREM’S RUSTLESS BLADE;
Did on a suit of heliotrope—
THE KAMPUS KUT in every shade.
Then berries served with JORDAN’S CREAM
And eggs from BUNKEM’S DAIRY FARM;
Then, as he read THE MORNING SCREAM,
He smoked a pipe of LUCKY CHARM.
And eggs from BUNKEM’S DAIRY FARM;
Then, as he read THE MORNING SCREAM,
He smoked a pipe of LUCKY CHARM.
Then, donning one of BEANEM’S HATS,
He rode out in his WHATSTHECAR;
Played ball; then home to RENTEM’S FLATS
To smoke a SHUTEMOUT CIGAR.
He rode out in his WHATSTHECAR;
Played ball; then home to RENTEM’S FLATS
To smoke a SHUTEMOUT CIGAR.
He listened to his WAXAPHONE,
Then lay—ending his day so rough—
Upon a mattress widely known.
****
But, at the price, I’ve said enough.
Then lay—ending his day so rough—
Upon a mattress widely known.
****
But, at the price, I’ve said enough.