National Ballad and Song/Volume 1/The Merie Ballad of Nash his Dildo
THE MERIE BALLAD OF NASH HIS DILDO
[b. 1601]
[By Thomas Nash; Rawlinson MS. Poet. 216, leaves 96–106; also Petyt MS. (Inner Temple), 538, Vol. 43, f. viii. 295b)—hitherto unpublished: dedicated in Petyt MS. “To the right Honorable the Lord S(outhampton)”].
Pardon, sweete flower of Machles poesye,
and fairest bud that euer red rose bare,
although my muse, diuert from deepest care,
presentes you with a wanton elegie.
Ne blame my verse of loose inchastitye,
for paynting forth the thinges that hidden be,
only induced with varyetye,
sith most men marke what I in speech descrie.
and fairest bud that euer red rose bare,
although my muse, diuert from deepest care,
presentes you with a wanton elegie.
Ne blame my verse of loose inchastitye,
for paynting forth the thinges that hidden be,
only induced with varyetye,
sith most men marke what I in speech descrie.
Complayntes and prayses every man can write,
and passion foorth there loue in statly rime;
but of loues pleasure none did e’re indite,
that have succeeded in this latter time.
and passion foorth there loue in statly rime;
but of loues pleasure none did e’re indite,
that have succeeded in this latter time.
Accept of it, deare loue, in gentle parte,
and better farr, ere large, shall honor thee.[? ere long]
and better farr, ere large, shall honor thee.[? ere long]
NASHES DILDO
It was the merry moneth of February,
when younge men in their brauery
Rose in the morning, before breake of daye,
to seeke their valentynes soe fresh and gaye.
With whome they maye consorte in Somers shene,
and daunce the high degree in our towne greene:
And allso at Ester, and at Penticost,
preambulate the fieldes that florish most:
And goe into some village bordering neere,
to tast the Cakes & creame and such good cheere,
To see a playe of strange morality,
showen by the bachelours of magnaminity,
Whither our Country Franklins flockmeale swarme,
and John and Joane come marching arme in arme.
Even on the Hallowes of that blessed Sainct,
that doth true lovers with those ioyes acquaint,
I went, poore pilgrime, to my Ladyes shrine,
to see if shee would be my valentyne.
[? woe]But out, alas, she was not to be found,
for she was shifted to another ground:
Good Justice Dudgeon, with his crabbed face,
with bills and staues had scard her from that place:
And she poore wench, compeld for sanctuary
to fly into a house of Venery.
Thither went I, and bouldly made inquire
if they had hackneys to lett out to hire,
And what they craud by order of their trade,
to lett me ride a iourney on a iade.
With that, stept forth a foggy three-chinde dame,
that vsd to take younge wenches for to tame,
And askt me, if soothe were my request,
or only moud a question but in iest?
“In iest,” quoth I, “that terme yt as you will,
I come for game; therefore giue me my Gill.”
“If that yt be,” quoth shee, “that you demaunde,
Then giue me first a godes peny in my hand;
For in our oratory, siccarly,
none enters in, to doe his deuory,
But he must paye his affidavit first,
and then perhaps Ile ease him of his thirst.”
I, seeing her soe earnest for the box,
I gaue her her due, and shee the doare vnlockes.
Nowe I am entered, sweete Venus be my speede!
but wheres the female that must doe the deed?
Through blind meanders, and through crooked wayes,
She leads me onward, as my author sayes,
Vntill I came vnto a shady loft
where Venus bouncing vestures skyrmish fought.[? vestals skirmish oft]
And there she sett me in a Lether chayre,
and brought me forth, of wenches, straight a paire,
And bad me choose which might content my eye;
but she I sought, I could noe waye espye.
I spake her faire, and wisht her well to fare,
“but soe yt is, I must haue fresher ware;
Wherefore, dame baud, soe dainty as you be,
fetch gentle Mistres Francis vnto me.”
“By Holy dame,” quoth shee, “and gods one mother
I well perceaue you are a wyly brother;
For if there be a morcell of better price,
youle find yt out, though I be now soe nice.
As you desire, soe shall you swiue with her;
but look, your purse-stringes shall abide yt deere;
For he whoole feed on quayles, must lauish crownes,
and Mistres Fraunces, in her velvett gownes,
Her ruffe and perriwigge soe fresh as May,
Cannot be kept for halfe a crowne a daye.”
“Of price, good hostes, wee will not debate,
although you assize me at the highest rate;
Onely conduct me to this bonny bell,
and tenn good gobletes vnto thee I’le tell,
of gold or siluer, which shall like you best,
soe much I doe her company request.”
Awaye she went, soe sweete a worde is golde,
it makes invasion in the strongest holde;
Loe, here she comes that hath my harte in keeping,
sing lullaby, my cares and fall a sleeping.
Sweeping she comes, as she would brush the ground:
her Ratling silcke my senses doe Confound:
Awaye I am ravisht: “voyd the chamber straight,
I must be straight vppon her with my waight.”
“My Tomalyn,” quoth she, and then she smiled:
“I, I,” quoth I, “soe more men are beguiled
With sighes and flattering woordes and teares,
When in your deedes much falshood still apeares.”
“As how, my Tomalyn,” blushing she replied,
“because I in this dauncing should abide?[? school]
If that be it that breedes thy discontent,
we will remove the campe incontinent:
For shelter only, sweete harte, cam I hither,
and to avoyd the troublesome stormye weather;
And since the coast is cleare, I will be gonne,
for, but thy self, true louers I haue none.”
With that she sprunge full lightly to my lippes,
and about my necke she hugges, she culles, she clippes,
She wanton faynes, and falles vppon the bedd,
and often tosses to and froe her head;
She shakes her feete, and waggles with her tongue:
Oh, whoe is able to forbeare so longe?
“I come, I come, sweete Ladye, by thy leaue;”
softely my fingers up theis curtaines heaue,
And send me happye stealing by degrees,
first vnto the feete, and then vnto the knees,
And so ascend vnto her manly thigh—
a pox on lingering, when I come so nighe!
Smocke, climbe apace, that I may see my ioyes,
all earthly pleasures seeme to this but toyes,
Compard be these delightes which I behould,
which well might keepe a man from being olde.
A prettye rising wombe without a wenne,
that shine[s] as bright as any christell gemme,
And beares out like the riseing of a hill,
at whose decline the[r] runnes a fountayne still,
That hath her mouth besett with rugged briers,
resembling much a duskye nett of wires:
A lusty buttock, barrd with azure vaines,
whose comely swellinge, when my hand restraines,
Or harmles checketh with a wanton gripe,
it makes the fruite thereof too soone be ripe,
A pleasure pluckt to tymely from his springe
it is, dyes e’re it can enioye the vsed thinge.
O Godes, that ever any thing soe sweete,
soe suddenly should fade awaye, and fleete!
Her armes and legges and all were spredd,
But I was all vnarmed,
Like one that Ouid’s cursed hemlocke charmd,
[Petyt MS.][So are my Limm’s unwealdlie for the fight,]
that spent there strength in thought of your delight.
What shall I doe, to shewe my selfe a man?
Yt will not be, for ought that beauty cann:
I kisse, I clipp, I winck, I feele at will,
Yet lyes he dead, not feeling good or ill.
“By Holly dame (quoth she), and wilt not staund?
now lett me roule and rub it in my hand!
[? silly]Perhapps the seely worme hath laboured sore,
and worked soe that it cann doe noe more:
Which if it be, as I doe greately dreade,
I wish ten thousand times that I weare dead.
What ere it be, noe meanes shall lack in mee,
That maye avayle for his recoverye.”
Which said, she tooke & rowld it on her thighe,
and looking downe on it, did groane and sighe;
She haundled it, and daunced it vpp and downe,
not ceasing till shee raisd it from [the swoune];[Petyt MS.]
And then it flewe on her as it were wood,
And on her breech laboured and foam’d a good;
He rubd and peirct her euer to the bones,
digging as deepe as he could digg for stones;
Now high, now lowe, now stricking shorte and thicke,
and diving deeper, peircte her to the quicke;
Now with a girde he would his course rebate,
then would he take him to a stately gate.
Playe when he liste, and thrust he nere soe hard,
poore patient Grissell lyeth at his ward,
And giues and takes as blith and fresh as Maye,
and ever meetes him in the middle of the waye.
On her his eyes continually were fixt;
with his eye-browes, her melting eyes were mixt,
which, like the sunne, betwixt two glasses playes,
from the one to the other casting rebounding rayes.
She like a starr that, to requite his beames,[? reguild]
suckes the influence of sweete Phebus streames,
Imbathes the beames of his discending light
in the deepest fountaines of the purest light.
Shee, faire as fairest plannet in the skye,
her puritye to noe man doth denye;
The verye chamber that includes her shine,
seemes as the pallace of the gods devine,
Whoe leades the daye about the Zodiacke,
and in the even, settes of the ocean lake;
Soe feirce and fervent in her radiaunce,
such flyeing breath she dartes at every glaunce
[limbs of age—Petyt MS.]As might inflame the verry mappe of age,
and cause pale death him suddenly t’asswage,
And stand and gaze vppon those orient lampes,
where Cupid all his ioyes incampes.
[Petyt MS.][And sitts and plays with euerie atomie
That in her Sunne-beames swarme aboundantlie.]
Thus striking, thus gazeing, we perséuere:
but nought soe sure that will continue ever:
“Fleete not soe fast,” my ravisht senses cries,
“sith my Content vppon thy life relyes,
Which brought so soone from his delightfull seates,
me, vnawares, of blissefull hope defeates;
[Petyt MS.][Togeather lett our equall motions stirr,
togeather lett vs line and dye, my deare;]
Togeather let vs march with one contente
and be consum[e]d without languishmente.”
As she prescribed, soe keepe we clocke and time,
and euery stroake in order like a chime.
Soe shee that here preferd me by her pyttye,
vnto our musicke framd a groaning dyttye:
“Alas, alas, that loue should be a sinne!
even now my ioys and sorrows doe beginne;
Hould wyde thy lappe, my louely Danae,
and entertaine this golden showry see;
That drisling fall[s] into thy treasurye:”
sweet Aprill flowers not halfe soe pleasaunt be,
Nor Nilus overflowinge Egipt playne,
as is the balme that all her woombe destreynes.
“Now, oh now,” she trickling moues her lippes,
and often to and fro she lightly startes and skippes:
She yerkes her legges, and fresketh with her heeles:
noe tongue can tell the pleasures that she feeles.
“I come, I come, sweete death, rocke mee a-sleepe!
sleepe, sleepe, desire, intombe me in the deepe!”
“Not soe, my deare and dearest,” she replyed:
“from vs two [? sweete] this pleasure must not glide,
Vntill the sinnowie Chambers of our blood
withould themselves from this newe prisoned flood;
And then we will, that then will come soe soone,
Dissolued lye, as thoughe our dayes were done.”
The whilest I speke, my soule is stealing hence,[MS. in]
and life forsakes his earthly residence:
“Staye but one houre,—an houre is not soe much,
nay, half an houre: and if thy haste be such,
Naye, but a quarter, I will aske noe more,
that thy departure, which torments me sore,
May now be lengthened by a litle pawse,
and take awaye this passions suddaine cause.
He heares me not; hard harted as he is,
[? hates]he is the scorne of time, and hath my blisse:
Time nere lookes backe; the river nere returnes;
a second spring must helpe, or elles I burne:
[Petyt MS.][No, no, the well is dry that should refresh me,
The glasse is runne of all my destinie:
Nature, of winter leauneth, nigardize,
Who, as he ouerbeares the streame with ice
That man nor beaste maie of their pleasance taste,
So shutts she up hir conduit all in haste,
And will not let her Nectar ouerflowe,
Least mortall man immortall ioyes should knowe.
Adieu, unconstant loue, to thy disporte;
Adieu, false mirth, and melodies too shorte;
Adieu, faint-hearted instrument of lust,
That falsely hath betrayde our equale trust.]
Hensforth I will noe more implore thine ayde,
Or thee for euer of Cowardice shall vpprayd:
My little dildoe shall supplye your kinde,
a youth that is as light as leaues in winde:
He bendeth not, nor fouldeth any deale,
but standes as stiffe as he were made of steele;
[Petyt MS.][And playes at peacock twixt my leggs right blithe
And doeth my tickling swage with manie a sighe;]
And when I will, he doth refresh me well,
and neuer makes my tender belly swell.”
Poore Priapus, thy kingdom needes must fall,
eccept thou thrust this weakling to the wall;
Behould how he vsurpes in bed and bower,
and vndermines thy kingdome euery hower:
And slyly creepes betwene the barke and tree,
and suckes the sap while sleepe deteyneth thee:
He is my Mistres lake at euery sound,[page—Petyt MS.]
and soone will tent a deepe intrenched wound;
He waytes on courtly nimphs that are full coye,
and bids them scorne the blind alluring boye;
[He giues yong guirls their gamesome sustenance,[Petyt MS.]
And euerie gaping mouth his full sufficiance.]
He fortifyes disdayne with foraigne artes,
while wantons chast delude all loving hartes.
If any wight a cruell Mistres serue,
And in dispaire full deeply pyne and sterue,
[Curse Eunicke dilldo, sencelesse counterfeit,[Petyt MS.]
Who sooth maie fill, but neuer can begett:
But if revenge enraged with dispaire,
That such a dwarf his wellfare should impaire,]
Would faine this woemans secretary knowe,
let him attend the markes that I shall showe:
He is a youth almost two handfulles high;
straight, round, and plump, and having but one eye,
Wherein the rheume soe fervently doth raine,
the Stigian gulfe can scarce his teares conteyne;
Running sometymes in thicke congealed glasse,
where he more like, downe into hell would passe:
An arme strong guider stedfastly him guides;
Vpon a chariot of fiue wheeles he rides,
Attird in white velvet or in silke,
And norisht with warme water or with milke,
And often alters pace as wayes growe deepe;
for whoe, in places vynknowne, one pace can keepe?
Sometymes he smothly slippeth downe a hill;
some other tymes, the stones his feete doe kill;
In clayey wayes he treadeth by and by,
[? plasheth]and placeth himself and all that standeth by:
Soe fares this royall rider in his race,
plunging and sowsing forward in like case,
Bedasht, bespotted, and beplotted foule—
god giue thee shame, thou foule mishapen owle!
But free from greife a ladyes chamberleyne,
and canst thou not thy tatling tongue refrayne?
I tell the beardlesse blabb, beware of stripes,
and be advisd what thou soe vainely pipst;
If Illian queene knowe of thy brauery heere,
thou shouldst be whipt with nettles for thie geere.
Saint Dennis sheild me from such femall sprightes!
regard not, dames, what Cupids poett writes:
I pen this story onely for my selfe;
and, giving yt to such an actuall elfe,
Am quite discoraged in my musery,
sinse all my store to her seemes misery.
I am not as was Hercules the stout,
that to the seauenth Iourny could hould out;
I wantes those hearbes and rootes of Indian soyle,
that strengthen weary members in their toyle,
Or drugges or electuaryes of newe devises,
that shame my purse, and tremble at thie prices.
I paid of both, [the] scott and lott allmost,
yet looke as lanke and leane as any ghost;
For that I allwayes had, I payd the wole,
which, for a poore man, is a princely dole—
what cann be added more to my renowne?
she lyeth breathlesse; I am taken downe;
The waves doe swell, the tide climes ore the bankes;
Judge, gentleweomen, doth this deserue no thankes?
And soe, good night vnto you, euery one;
For loe, our thred is spunne, our playes done.
when younge men in their brauery
Rose in the morning, before breake of daye,
to seeke their valentynes soe fresh and gaye.
With whome they maye consorte in Somers shene,
and daunce the high degree in our towne greene:
And allso at Ester, and at Penticost,
preambulate the fieldes that florish most:
And goe into some village bordering neere,
to tast the Cakes & creame and such good cheere,
To see a playe of strange morality,
showen by the bachelours of magnaminity,
Whither our Country Franklins flockmeale swarme,
and John and Joane come marching arme in arme.
Even on the Hallowes of that blessed Sainct,
that doth true lovers with those ioyes acquaint,
I went, poore pilgrime, to my Ladyes shrine,
to see if shee would be my valentyne.
[? woe]But out, alas, she was not to be found,
for she was shifted to another ground:
Good Justice Dudgeon, with his crabbed face,
with bills and staues had scard her from that place:
And she poore wench, compeld for sanctuary
to fly into a house of Venery.
Thither went I, and bouldly made inquire
if they had hackneys to lett out to hire,
And what they craud by order of their trade,
to lett me ride a iourney on a iade.
With that, stept forth a foggy three-chinde dame,
that vsd to take younge wenches for to tame,
And askt me, if soothe were my request,
or only moud a question but in iest?
“In iest,” quoth I, “that terme yt as you will,
I come for game; therefore giue me my Gill.”
“If that yt be,” quoth shee, “that you demaunde,
Then giue me first a godes peny in my hand;
For in our oratory, siccarly,
none enters in, to doe his deuory,
But he must paye his affidavit first,
and then perhaps Ile ease him of his thirst.”
I, seeing her soe earnest for the box,
I gaue her her due, and shee the doare vnlockes.
Nowe I am entered, sweete Venus be my speede!
but wheres the female that must doe the deed?
Through blind meanders, and through crooked wayes,
She leads me onward, as my author sayes,
Vntill I came vnto a shady loft
where Venus bouncing vestures skyrmish fought.[? vestals skirmish oft]
And there she sett me in a Lether chayre,
and brought me forth, of wenches, straight a paire,
And bad me choose which might content my eye;
but she I sought, I could noe waye espye.
I spake her faire, and wisht her well to fare,
“but soe yt is, I must haue fresher ware;
Wherefore, dame baud, soe dainty as you be,
fetch gentle Mistres Francis vnto me.”
“By Holy dame,” quoth shee, “and gods one mother
I well perceaue you are a wyly brother;
For if there be a morcell of better price,
youle find yt out, though I be now soe nice.
As you desire, soe shall you swiue with her;
but look, your purse-stringes shall abide yt deere;
For he whoole feed on quayles, must lauish crownes,
and Mistres Fraunces, in her velvett gownes,
Her ruffe and perriwigge soe fresh as May,
Cannot be kept for halfe a crowne a daye.”
“Of price, good hostes, wee will not debate,
although you assize me at the highest rate;
Onely conduct me to this bonny bell,
and tenn good gobletes vnto thee I’le tell,
of gold or siluer, which shall like you best,
soe much I doe her company request.”
Awaye she went, soe sweete a worde is golde,
it makes invasion in the strongest holde;
Loe, here she comes that hath my harte in keeping,
sing lullaby, my cares and fall a sleeping.
Sweeping she comes, as she would brush the ground:
her Ratling silcke my senses doe Confound:
Awaye I am ravisht: “voyd the chamber straight,
I must be straight vppon her with my waight.”
“My Tomalyn,” quoth she, and then she smiled:
“I, I,” quoth I, “soe more men are beguiled
With sighes and flattering woordes and teares,
When in your deedes much falshood still apeares.”
“As how, my Tomalyn,” blushing she replied,
“because I in this dauncing should abide?[? school]
If that be it that breedes thy discontent,
we will remove the campe incontinent:
For shelter only, sweete harte, cam I hither,
and to avoyd the troublesome stormye weather;
And since the coast is cleare, I will be gonne,
for, but thy self, true louers I haue none.”
With that she sprunge full lightly to my lippes,
and about my necke she hugges, she culles, she clippes,
She wanton faynes, and falles vppon the bedd,
and often tosses to and froe her head;
She shakes her feete, and waggles with her tongue:
Oh, whoe is able to forbeare so longe?
“I come, I come, sweete Ladye, by thy leaue;”
softely my fingers up theis curtaines heaue,
And send me happye stealing by degrees,
first vnto the feete, and then vnto the knees,
And so ascend vnto her manly thigh—
a pox on lingering, when I come so nighe!
Smocke, climbe apace, that I may see my ioyes,
all earthly pleasures seeme to this but toyes,
Compard be these delightes which I behould,
which well might keepe a man from being olde.
A prettye rising wombe without a wenne,
that shine[s] as bright as any christell gemme,
And beares out like the riseing of a hill,
at whose decline the[r] runnes a fountayne still,
That hath her mouth besett with rugged briers,
resembling much a duskye nett of wires:
A lusty buttock, barrd with azure vaines,
whose comely swellinge, when my hand restraines,
Or harmles checketh with a wanton gripe,
it makes the fruite thereof too soone be ripe,
A pleasure pluckt to tymely from his springe
it is, dyes e’re it can enioye the vsed thinge.
O Godes, that ever any thing soe sweete,
soe suddenly should fade awaye, and fleete!
Her armes and legges and all were spredd,
But I was all vnarmed,
Like one that Ouid’s cursed hemlocke charmd,
[Petyt MS.][So are my Limm’s unwealdlie for the fight,]
that spent there strength in thought of your delight.
What shall I doe, to shewe my selfe a man?
Yt will not be, for ought that beauty cann:
I kisse, I clipp, I winck, I feele at will,
Yet lyes he dead, not feeling good or ill.
“By Holly dame (quoth she), and wilt not staund?
now lett me roule and rub it in my hand!
[? silly]Perhapps the seely worme hath laboured sore,
and worked soe that it cann doe noe more:
Which if it be, as I doe greately dreade,
I wish ten thousand times that I weare dead.
What ere it be, noe meanes shall lack in mee,
That maye avayle for his recoverye.”
Which said, she tooke & rowld it on her thighe,
and looking downe on it, did groane and sighe;
She haundled it, and daunced it vpp and downe,
not ceasing till shee raisd it from [the swoune];[Petyt MS.]
And then it flewe on her as it were wood,
And on her breech laboured and foam’d a good;
He rubd and peirct her euer to the bones,
digging as deepe as he could digg for stones;
Now high, now lowe, now stricking shorte and thicke,
and diving deeper, peircte her to the quicke;
Now with a girde he would his course rebate,
then would he take him to a stately gate.
Playe when he liste, and thrust he nere soe hard,
poore patient Grissell lyeth at his ward,
And giues and takes as blith and fresh as Maye,
and ever meetes him in the middle of the waye.
On her his eyes continually were fixt;
with his eye-browes, her melting eyes were mixt,
which, like the sunne, betwixt two glasses playes,
from the one to the other casting rebounding rayes.
She like a starr that, to requite his beames,[? reguild]
suckes the influence of sweete Phebus streames,
Imbathes the beames of his discending light
in the deepest fountaines of the purest light.
Shee, faire as fairest plannet in the skye,
her puritye to noe man doth denye;
The verye chamber that includes her shine,
seemes as the pallace of the gods devine,
Whoe leades the daye about the Zodiacke,
and in the even, settes of the ocean lake;
Soe feirce and fervent in her radiaunce,
such flyeing breath she dartes at every glaunce
[limbs of age—Petyt MS.]As might inflame the verry mappe of age,
and cause pale death him suddenly t’asswage,
And stand and gaze vppon those orient lampes,
where Cupid all his ioyes incampes.
[Petyt MS.][And sitts and plays with euerie atomie
That in her Sunne-beames swarme aboundantlie.]
Thus striking, thus gazeing, we perséuere:
but nought soe sure that will continue ever:
“Fleete not soe fast,” my ravisht senses cries,
“sith my Content vppon thy life relyes,
Which brought so soone from his delightfull seates,
me, vnawares, of blissefull hope defeates;
[Petyt MS.][Togeather lett our equall motions stirr,
togeather lett vs line and dye, my deare;]
Togeather let vs march with one contente
and be consum[e]d without languishmente.”
As she prescribed, soe keepe we clocke and time,
and euery stroake in order like a chime.
Soe shee that here preferd me by her pyttye,
vnto our musicke framd a groaning dyttye:
“Alas, alas, that loue should be a sinne!
even now my ioys and sorrows doe beginne;
Hould wyde thy lappe, my louely Danae,
and entertaine this golden showry see;
That drisling fall[s] into thy treasurye:”
sweet Aprill flowers not halfe soe pleasaunt be,
Nor Nilus overflowinge Egipt playne,
as is the balme that all her woombe destreynes.
“Now, oh now,” she trickling moues her lippes,
and often to and fro she lightly startes and skippes:
She yerkes her legges, and fresketh with her heeles:
noe tongue can tell the pleasures that she feeles.
“I come, I come, sweete death, rocke mee a-sleepe!
sleepe, sleepe, desire, intombe me in the deepe!”
“Not soe, my deare and dearest,” she replyed:
“from vs two [? sweete] this pleasure must not glide,
Vntill the sinnowie Chambers of our blood
withould themselves from this newe prisoned flood;
And then we will, that then will come soe soone,
Dissolued lye, as thoughe our dayes were done.”
The whilest I speke, my soule is stealing hence,[MS. in]
and life forsakes his earthly residence:
“Staye but one houre,—an houre is not soe much,
nay, half an houre: and if thy haste be such,
Naye, but a quarter, I will aske noe more,
that thy departure, which torments me sore,
May now be lengthened by a litle pawse,
and take awaye this passions suddaine cause.
He heares me not; hard harted as he is,
[? hates]he is the scorne of time, and hath my blisse:
Time nere lookes backe; the river nere returnes;
a second spring must helpe, or elles I burne:
[Petyt MS.][No, no, the well is dry that should refresh me,
The glasse is runne of all my destinie:
Nature, of winter leauneth, nigardize,
Who, as he ouerbeares the streame with ice
That man nor beaste maie of their pleasance taste,
So shutts she up hir conduit all in haste,
And will not let her Nectar ouerflowe,
Least mortall man immortall ioyes should knowe.
Adieu, unconstant loue, to thy disporte;
Adieu, false mirth, and melodies too shorte;
Adieu, faint-hearted instrument of lust,
That falsely hath betrayde our equale trust.]
Hensforth I will noe more implore thine ayde,
Or thee for euer of Cowardice shall vpprayd:
My little dildoe shall supplye your kinde,
a youth that is as light as leaues in winde:
He bendeth not, nor fouldeth any deale,
but standes as stiffe as he were made of steele;
[Petyt MS.][And playes at peacock twixt my leggs right blithe
And doeth my tickling swage with manie a sighe;]
And when I will, he doth refresh me well,
and neuer makes my tender belly swell.”
Poore Priapus, thy kingdom needes must fall,
eccept thou thrust this weakling to the wall;
Behould how he vsurpes in bed and bower,
and vndermines thy kingdome euery hower:
And slyly creepes betwene the barke and tree,
and suckes the sap while sleepe deteyneth thee:
He is my Mistres lake at euery sound,[page—Petyt MS.]
and soone will tent a deepe intrenched wound;
He waytes on courtly nimphs that are full coye,
and bids them scorne the blind alluring boye;
[He giues yong guirls their gamesome sustenance,[Petyt MS.]
And euerie gaping mouth his full sufficiance.]
He fortifyes disdayne with foraigne artes,
while wantons chast delude all loving hartes.
If any wight a cruell Mistres serue,
And in dispaire full deeply pyne and sterue,
[Curse Eunicke dilldo, sencelesse counterfeit,[Petyt MS.]
Who sooth maie fill, but neuer can begett:
But if revenge enraged with dispaire,
That such a dwarf his wellfare should impaire,]
Would faine this woemans secretary knowe,
let him attend the markes that I shall showe:
He is a youth almost two handfulles high;
straight, round, and plump, and having but one eye,
Wherein the rheume soe fervently doth raine,
the Stigian gulfe can scarce his teares conteyne;
Running sometymes in thicke congealed glasse,
where he more like, downe into hell would passe:
An arme strong guider stedfastly him guides;
Vpon a chariot of fiue wheeles he rides,
Attird in white velvet or in silke,
And norisht with warme water or with milke,
And often alters pace as wayes growe deepe;
for whoe, in places vynknowne, one pace can keepe?
Sometymes he smothly slippeth downe a hill;
some other tymes, the stones his feete doe kill;
In clayey wayes he treadeth by and by,
[? plasheth]and placeth himself and all that standeth by:
Soe fares this royall rider in his race,
plunging and sowsing forward in like case,
Bedasht, bespotted, and beplotted foule—
god giue thee shame, thou foule mishapen owle!
But free from greife a ladyes chamberleyne,
and canst thou not thy tatling tongue refrayne?
I tell the beardlesse blabb, beware of stripes,
and be advisd what thou soe vainely pipst;
If Illian queene knowe of thy brauery heere,
thou shouldst be whipt with nettles for thie geere.
Saint Dennis sheild me from such femall sprightes!
regard not, dames, what Cupids poett writes:
I pen this story onely for my selfe;
and, giving yt to such an actuall elfe,
Am quite discoraged in my musery,
sinse all my store to her seemes misery.
I am not as was Hercules the stout,
that to the seauenth Iourny could hould out;
I wantes those hearbes and rootes of Indian soyle,
that strengthen weary members in their toyle,
Or drugges or electuaryes of newe devises,
that shame my purse, and tremble at thie prices.
I paid of both, [the] scott and lott allmost,
yet looke as lanke and leane as any ghost;
For that I allwayes had, I payd the wole,
which, for a poore man, is a princely dole—
what cann be added more to my renowne?
she lyeth breathlesse; I am taken downe;
The waves doe swell, the tide climes ore the bankes;
Judge, gentleweomen, doth this deserue no thankes?
And soe, good night vnto you, euery one;
For loe, our thred is spunne, our playes done.
[Thus hath my penne presum’d to please my friend:
Oh mighst thou lykewise please Apollo’s eye.[Petyt MS.
No, Honor brookes no such impietie,
Yett Ouid’s wanton muse did not offend.
He is the fountaine whence my streames doe flowe—
Forgive me if I speak as I was taught,
Alike to women utter all I knowe,
As longing to unlade so bad a fraught.
My mynde once purg’d of such lascivious witt,
With purifide words and hallowed verse,
Thy praises in large volumes shall rehearse
That better maie thy grauer view befitt.
Meanwhile ytt rests, you smile at what I write
Or for attempting banish me your sight.]
Oh mighst thou lykewise please Apollo’s eye.[Petyt MS.
No, Honor brookes no such impietie,
Yett Ouid’s wanton muse did not offend.
He is the fountaine whence my streames doe flowe—
Forgive me if I speak as I was taught,
Alike to women utter all I knowe,
As longing to unlade so bad a fraught.
My mynde once purg’d of such lascivious witt,
With purifide words and hallowed verse,
Thy praises in large volumes shall rehearse
That better maie thy grauer view befitt.
Meanwhile ytt rests, you smile at what I write
Or for attempting banish me your sight.]