Once a Week (magazine)/Series 1/Volume 11/"Mrs. Smith"

by Frederick Locker

“MRS. SMITH.”

I.

Last year I trod these fields with Di,
And that’s the simple reason why
⁠They now look arid:
Then Di was fair and single—how
Unfair it seems on me, for now
⁠Di’s fair and married!

 

II.

In bliss we roved, I scorn’d the song
Which says that tho’ young Love is strong,
⁠The Fates are stronger:
Then breezes blew a boon to men—
Then buttercups were bright—and then
⁠This grass was longer.

 

III.

That day I saw, and much esteem’d
Di’s ankles—which the clover seem’d
⁠Inclined to smother:
It twitch’d—and soon untied (for fun)
The ribbons of her shoes; first one,
⁠And then the other.

 

IV.

’Tis said that virgins augur some
Misfortune, if their shoestrings come
⁠To grief on Friday:
And so did Di—and so her pride
Decreed that shoestrings so untied
⁠Are “so untidy!”

 

V.

Of course I knelt, with fingers deft
I tied the right, and then the left;
⁠Says Di,—“This stubble
Is very stupid, as I live,
I’m shocked, I’m quite ashamed to give
⁠You so much trouble.”

 

VI.

For answer I was fain to sink
To what most swains would say and think
⁠Were Beauty present;
“Don’t mention such a simple act.
A trouble? not the least. In fact
⁠It’s rather pleasant.”

 

VII.

I trust that love will never tease
Poor little Di, or prove that he’s
⁠A graceless rover;
She’s happy now—as Mrs. Smith,—
But less polite when walking with
⁠Her chosen lover.

 

VIII.

Farewell! And tho’ no moral clings
To Di’s soft eyes and sandal strings,
⁠We’ve had our quarrels;
I think that Smith is thought an ass,
But know that when they walk in grass
⁠She wears balmorals.