Letter to his relative, Mr. Rutson Maury of New York:—
| Dear Rutson, | Fredericksburg, Virginia, August 31st, 1840. |
My panacea, for ennui is the pen. There is no time hardly, when I enjoy more refined pleasures than when, deprived of companions, I dip into the ink-stand for friends that are far away. Therefore, I seldom or never feel lonesome. But, I account for the fact rather from an accident of education, than from any peculiarity of natural disposition.
When I became old enough to reflect, it was the aim at which all my energies were directed to make myself a useful man. I soon found that occupation, for some useful end or another was the true secret of happiness. With this idea, I left school, where I had received a very desultory sort of education. I was anxious to enter the Military Academy at West Point. But the bare mention of the wish put my father in a rage. I abandoned the idea, therefore; but secretly set about, through the agency of a friend (at that time a shop boy), to obtain a warrant in the navy; for my prospects, as I thought, had become exceedingly gloomy.
I had, at school, been called on by the teacher to hear first one class, and then another, until I became a regular amateur assistant. This was being useful, and I was proud of the occupation, though it seriously interfered with my own studies. The teacher, who was a poor young man from New York (he is now a lawyer of property at Newberg), finding that I was to be taken from school to follow the plough, offered, in the fullness of his heart, to send me to one of the northern colleges. He had just drawn $500 in a lottery, and like Gil Blas with his "ducats," he thought there would be no end to his $500 prize. And no doubt in my eyes, also, the $500 seemed, like the old woman's empty barrel of meal in the Bible, perfectly inexhaustible. But pride, or unwillingness to lay myself under such obligations, prevented the acceptance of the good Dominie's offer.
In the meantime, my appointment in the navy came. I went home, and the first intelligence my parents had of my intentions was this letter of appointment. It disturbed the family very much, and my father expressed his disappro-
