Page:A chambermaid's diary.djvu/330

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silver crucifix, and a rosary of red beads. Always religien !

My search concluded, I leave the room, filled â– with nervous irritation at having found nothing of â– what I â– was searching for, and having learned noth- ing of -what I -wanted to kno^w. Decidedly, Joseph communicates his impenetrability to everything that he touches. The articles that he possesses are as silent as his lips, as unfathomable as his eyes and bro-w. The rest of the day I have had before me, really before me, Joseph's face, enigmatical, sneering, and crusty, by turns. And it has seemed to me that I could hear him saying to me :

" And much farther you have got, my a^wk^ward little one, in consequence of your curiosity. Ah! you can look again, you can search my linen, my trunks, my soul; you â– will never find anything out."

I do not â– wish to think of all this any more ; I do not â– wish to think of Joseph any more. My head aches too hard, and I believe that I should go mad. Let us return to my memories.

Scarcely had I left the good sisters of Neuilly, â– when I fell again into the hell of the employment- bureaus. And yet I had firmly resolved never to apply to them again. But, when qne is on the pavements, -without money enough to buy even a bit of bread, -what is one to do? Friends, old com- rades ? Bah ! They do not even ans^wer you.