Page:A happy half-century and other essays.djvu/120

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ON THE SLOPES OF PARNASSUS

British decorum, and, what was worse, exposed the poem to Canning's pungent ridicule. When the "Loves of the Triangles" appeared in the "Anti-Jacobin," all England—except Whigs and patriots who never laughed at Canning's jokes—was moved to inextinguishable mirth. The mock seriousness of the introduction and argument, the "horrid industry" of the notes, the contrast between the pensiveness of the Cycloid and the innocent playfulness of the Pendulum, the solemn headshake over the licentious disposition of Optics, and the description of the three Curves that requite the passion of the Rectangle, all burlesque with unfeeling delight Dr. Darwin's ornate pedantry.

Let shrill Acoustics tune the tiny lyre,
With Euclid sage fair Algebra conspire;
Let Hydrostatics, simpering as they go,
Lead the light Naiads on fantastic toe.

The indignant poet, frigidly vain, and immaculately free from any taint of humour, was as much scandalized as hurt by this light-hearted mockery. Being a dictator in his own little circle at Derby, he was naturally disposed to consider the "Anti-Jacobin" a menace to genius