power to choose the sentence that we hope will be ours. S. Eligius observes, " It is put into our power how we will be judged." And what have we to do? To settle our accounts before the judgment. "Before judgment prepare thee justice." (Ecclus. xviii. 19.) S. Bonaventure observes, that those merchants who are wise, frequently look over and cast up their accounts, so that they may be in no danger of failing. S. Augustine remarks, " That the Judge may be propitiated before the judgment, but not in it." " I long to present myself before thee as judged, and not as to be judged." Let us therefore say to the Lord, as did S. Bernard, My Judge, I desire that Thou shouldst judge and punish me now during life, now that it is the time of mercy, and now that Thou canst pardon me, for after death will it be the time for judgment.
Affections and Prayers.
My God, if I am not reconciled to Thee now, the time will come when I can no longer be reconciled to Thee. But how can I be reconciled to Thee, who so many times have despised Thy friendship for pleasures which have proved to be base and miserable? I have repaid Thy great love with ingratitude. What satisfaction that is worth offering, can a creature give for the offences committed against its Creator? Ah, my Lord, I thank Thee, that Thy mercy has already opened the way for me to become reconciled to Thee and to give Thee satisfaction. I offer to Thee the Blood and the Death of Jesus Thy Son, and behold I see Thy justice already reconciled and satisfied beyond measure. And for this, my repentance is also necessary. Yes, my God, I repent with all my heart because of all the offences I have committed against Thee. Judge me therefore now, O my Redeemer. I abhor, beyond every other evil, the displeasure which I have caused Thee. I love Thee beyond all things with all my heart; and I purpose ever to love Thee, and to die rather than to offend Thee more. Thou hast promised to pardon him who repents; then do Thou judge me now, and do Thou absolve me from my sins. I accept the punishment which I deserve, but restore me to Thy favour, and keep me in it, until I die. Even so do I hope.
