after a good cry, they spoke no more on the subject which interested them both, but even while they were talking about irrelevant topics they understood each other. Kitty knew that the cruel words that she had uttered in her anger, about the husband's unfaithfulness — the unfaithfulness of Dolly's husband — and her humiliation, struck deep into her poor sister's heart, but that she forgave her. Dolly, on her side, knew all that she wanted to know, she was convinced that her suspicions were correct, that the pain Kitty felt, the irremediable pain, lay in the fact that Levin had offered himself to her, and that she had refused him, and that Vronsky had played her false, and that she was ready to love Levin and to hate Vronsky. Kitty said not a word about this; she spoke only of the general state of her soul.
"I have no sorrow," she said, regaining her calmness a little; "but you cannot imagine how wretched, disgusting, and vulgar everything seems to me — above all myself. You cannot imagine what evil thoughts come into my mind."
"Yes, but what evil thoughts can you have?" asked Dolly, with a smile.
"The most abominable, the most repulsive. I cannot describe them to you. It is not melancholy, and it is not ennui. It is much worse. It is as if all the good that was in me had disappeared, and only the evil was left. Now how can that be, I tell you?" she asked, looking in perplexity into her sister's eyes. "Papa began to say something to me a few minutes ago .... It seems to me he thinks that all I need is a husband. Mamma takes me to the ball. It seems to me that she takes me there for the sole purpose of getting rid of me, of getting me married as soon as possible. I know that it is not true, and yet I cannot drive away these ideas. So-called marriageable young men are unendurable to me. It always seems to me that they are taking my measure. A short time ago, to go anywhere in a ball gown was a simple delight to me; I admired myself, I enjoyed it; now it is a bore to me, and I feel ill at ease. Now, what do you think?.... The doctor.... well .... "
