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62
ANNA KARENINA

so as to find her alone and offer himself. And instantly the situation appeared to her for the first time in a new, strange light. Then only she realized that the question did not concern herself alone, nor who would make her happy, nor whom she loved, but that she should have to wound a man whom she liked, and to wound him cruelly .... why, why was it that such a charming man loved her ? Why had he fallen in love with her ? But it was too late to mend matters; it was fated to be so.

"Merciful Heaven! is it possible that I myself must tell him," she thought, — "I must tell him that I don't love him? That is not true! But what can I say? That I love another? No, that is impossible. I will run away, I will run away!"

She had already reached the door, when she heard his step. "No, it is not honorable. What have I to fear? I have done nothing wrong. Let come what will, I will tell the truth! I shall not be ill at ease with him. Ah, here he is!" she said to herself, as she saw his strong but timid countenance, with his brilliant eyes fixed upon her. She looked him full in the face, with an air which seemed to implore his protection, and extended her hand.

"I am rather early, too early, I am afraid," said he, casting a glance about the empty room; and when he saw that his hope was fulfilled, and that nothing would prevent him from speaking, his face grew solemn.

"Oh, no!" said Kitty, sitting down near a table.

"But it is exactly what I wanted, so that I might find you alone," he began, without sitting, and without looking at her, lest he should lose his courage.

"Mamma will be here in a moment. She was very tired to-day. To-day ...."

She spoke without knowing what her lips said, and did not take her imploring and gentle gaze from his face.

Levin gazed at her; she blushed, and stopped speaking.

"I told you to-day that I did not know how long I should stay .... that it depended on you ...."