A REAL JOB FOR TEDDY.
All in all, 'twill suit you fine. Never having been afraid
Of aught else upon this earth, you should be an umpire, Ted!
Of aught else upon this earth, you should be an umpire, Ted!
That's the only job for you; take our tip now, Theodore;
Think of how your pulse will leap when you hear the angry roar.
There your nerve can have full play; you will find the action there
Which you've hunted for in vain from your Presidential chair.
Think of how your pulse will leap when you hear the angry roar.
There your nerve can have full play; you will find the action there
Which you've hunted for in vain from your Presidential chair.
Chasing Afric lions and such, catching grizzlies will seem tame
Lined up with the jolt you'll get in the thick of some hard game.
Choking hungry wolves to death as a sport will stack up raw
When you see Kid Elberfeld swinging for your under jaw.
When you hear Hugh Jennings roar, "Call them strikes, you lump of cheese!"
Or McGraw comes rushing out, kicking at your shins and knees;
When the bleachers stand and shout, "Robber, liar, thief, and dub!"
You'll be sorry for the gents in your Ananias Club.
You'll find it's a different thing from making peace with old Japan
Than when you've called a strike on O'Conner or McGann.
Lined up with the jolt you'll get in the thick of some hard game.
Choking hungry wolves to death as a sport will stack up raw
When you see Kid Elberfeld swinging for your under jaw.
When you hear Hugh Jennings roar, "Call them strikes, you lump of cheese!"
Or McGraw comes rushing out, kicking at your shins and knees;
When the bleachers stand and shout, "Robber, liar, thief, and dub!"
You'll be sorry for the gents in your Ananias Club.
You'll find it's a different thing from making peace with old Japan
Than when you've called a strike on O'Conner or McGann.
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