Page:Beasts at Law, 1811.djvu/20

Tried every art, and rack'd invention,
To catch the modest Goat's attention.
And then the females.…how they simpered,
Ogled, whispered, smirk'd and whimpered!
How the little birds would rummage
To adjust their glossy plumage!
Then in wanton circles fly,
And each attractive movement try
To catch the mastiff's roving eye.
"The Goat, cries one, must be a brute,
So sweet a Dog to prosecute.
Accuse the pretty cur of rudeness!
Why, the dear rogue's a lump of goodness;
I'd not believe the Dog would do it,
Although I saw, and felt, and knew it."
"Order!" the judge indignant roar'd.…
Order was at the word restored,
When Ursus rose, stretch'd forth his paws,
And thus for plaintiff ope'd the cause:
"Respected members of the jury,
I rise reluctant, I assure you,
To unfold a blackened catalogue
Of actions that must damn the Dog.
Your bos-ships are to hear a suit,
Brought by a harmless female brute,
For 'sault and battery by defendant,
Who guilty is you may depend on't.
The indictment charges him, we find,
With acts of that peculiar kind
Which law thus technically terms,
And, as you hear, the bill affirms