—“But you wont even have to because we both realize we’e bugs . . . our lodge will have truth written all over it but tho the whole world come smear it with big black paints of hate and lies we’ll be falling dead drunk in truth”—“Have some coffee”—“My hands’ll grow numb and I wont be able to handle the axe but still I’ll be the truth man. . . I’ll stand by the drape of the window night listening to the babble of all the world and I’ll tell you about it”—“But Jack I love you and that’s not the only reason why, dont you see that we’re meant for each other from the beginning, didnt you see that when you came in with Cody and started calling me Julien for that silly reason you told me about where I look like some old buddy you know in New York”—“Who hates Cody’s guts and Cody hates him”—“But dont you see what a waste it is?”—“But what about Cody? you want me to marry you but you love Cody and in fact Perry loves you too?”—“Sure but what’s wrong with that or all that? there’s perfect love between us forever there’s no doubt about it but we only have two bodies”—(a strange statement)—I stand by the window looking out on the glittering San Francisco night with its magic cardboard houses saying “And you have Elliott who doesnt like me and I dont like him and in fact I dont like you and I dont like myself either, how about that?” (Billie says nothing to this but only stores up an anger that comes out later)—“But we can call Dave Wain and he’ll drive us to Big Sur cabin and we’ll be alone in the woods at least”—“I’m telling you that’s what I wanta do!”—“Call him now!”—I tell her the number and she dials it like a secretary—“O the sad music of it all, I’ve done it all, seen it all, done everything with everybody” I say phone in hand, “the whole world’s coming on like a highschool sophomore eager to learn what he calls New things, mind you, the same old singsong sad song truth of death . . . because the reason I yell death so much is because I’m really yelling life, because you cant have death without life, hello Dave? there you are? know what I’m callin you about? listen pal . . . take that
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