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The Trail of the Serpent.

looks I should say very much indeed, for never did I see you looking better," said Miss Smithers, with more enthusiasm than punctuation, as she removed the shawl from the lovely shoulders of Miss Tappenden.

"Thank you, Smithers, I am better," replied the young lady, with languid condescension. Miss Tappenden, on the strength of never having anything the matter with her, was always complaining, and passed her existence in taking sal-volatile and red lavender, and reading three volumes a day from the circulating library.

"And how," asked the ponderous voice of the ponderous Doctor, "how is everything going on, Smithers?" By this time they were seated at the tea-table, and the learned Tappenden was in the act of putting five lumps of sugar in his cup, while the fair Smithers lingered in attendance.

"Quite satisfactory, sir, I'm sure," replied that young lady, growing very much confused. "Everything quite satisfactory, sir; leastways——"

"What do you mean by leastways, Smithers?" asked the Doctor, impatiently. "In the first place it isn't English; and in the next it sounds as if it meant something unpleasant. For goodness sake, Smithers, be straightforward and business-like. Has anything gone wrong? What is it? And why wasn't I informed of it?"

Smithers, in despair at her incapability of answering these three questions at once, as no doubt she ought to have been able to do, or the Doctor would not have asked them, stammered out,—

"Mr. North, sir——"

"'Mr. North, sir'! Well, what of 'Mr. North, sir'?" By the bye, where is Mr. North? Why isn't he here to receive us?"

Smithers feels that she is in for it; so, after two or three nervous gulps, and other convulsive movements of the throat, she continues thus—"Mr. North, sir, didn't come home last night, sir. We sat up for him till one o'clock this morning—last night, sir."

The rising storm in the Doctor's face is making Smithers's English more un-English every moment.

"Didn't come last night? Didn't return to my house at the hour of ten, which hour has been appointed by me for the retiring to rest of every person in my employment?" cried the Doctor, aghast.

"No, sir! Nor yet this morning, sir! Nor yet this afternoon, sir! And the West-Indian pupils have been looking out of the window, sir, and would, which we told them not till we were hoarse, sir."