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upon their heads. "Ye villains!" she cried, "ye'll ha'e to account for this yet!"—"And when will we pe account for't ?" asked one of the Highlanders.—"At the last day, ye blackguards!" exclaimed the woman. "Ta last tay!" replied the Highlander; "Tat be coot long chredit-we'll e'en pe tak a waistcoat too!" at the same time cutting off a few additional yards of the cloth.

Bird's Nest.

The mother of a respectable grocer in a town in the west, called her son to her, while on her death-bed, and declared to him that his reputed father was not really his father; but that such a one (naming him) really was his father: and that the deed was done one night when travelling from Greenock, when at the Clun-Brae-Head; this story got wing, and ran through the town like wildfire, and was a fine source of amusement for some time. One day a boy vulgarly named the 'Linty,' went into the said grocer's shop to purchase some article, when he was assailed with "Weel Linty, whor is'tu gaun to big thy nest the year?" The boy replied, "I was thinkin' to big it down about the Clun-Brae-Head."

Elder's Hours.

A cunning carle invested with the semi-sacred office of "Rulling Elder," or practically seemingly indentified with that office, in order to gratify an incination, scratched wi' the neb o' a fork, the figure 10, on the one side of his outer door, and figure 11, on the other; by which plan he was able to say wi' a good conscience," at a times,