A SAN FRANCISCO DIOGENES. 367
hot sand, and clasping snow-clad statues, the Califor- nian philosopher sunned himself on the piazza of his hotel, and drank iced juleps. His tub stood in the lobby of the legislature, where he practised the pro- fession of comma ndino; men.
However at heart a cynic, the surface was charm- ingly bland. So it always was with Californian philosophers. Of whatsoever school, the very first requisite was a free and easy demeanor. This, with always a readiness to drink at some one else's expense, and a happy faculty of impelling the hands of listeners into their pockets for the benefit of a bar-room com- pany, were qualities in obtaining an ascendency over the mind more fruitful than flagellations, chastity, poverty, or any species of antics or asceticism.
Office-seekers were not slow to perceive that Phil- osopher Pickett was endowed with qualities of great value to every one except himself It is enough for a philosopher to be a philosopher. The moment he seeks wealth or political preferment the pedestal crumbles, and he becomes like other men, earthy.
Once a candidate for a legislative clerkship, noticing the extended acquaintance and easy influence of the philosopher, determined to approach him. The little man was courteous, and very free with his half dollars about bars and billiard-tables. In due time the appli- cant for office broached the subject nearest his heart, and begged the philosopher's influence. Pickett turned to him in apparent surprise, as if the man's every movement for the past three days had not dis- covered his ambition, and straio-htening his slim figure to its full height, fixed upon him a pair of glittering gray eyes, and spake :
" Sir," said he, " I am the last man outside of Plato's republic from whom you should solicit aid. Should I advocate your claim, the members would suspect you honest; and surely you must know that an honest man stands no more chance before a California legis- lature than a cat in hades without claws." The Ian-
