And then our Fellowships shall open be
To Intellect, no meaner quality!
No moral excellence, no social fitness
Shall ever be admissible as witness.
'Avaunt, dull Virtue!' is Oxonia's cry:
'Come to my arms, ingenious Villainy!'
For Classic Fellowships, an honour high,
Simonides and Co. will then apply—
Our Mathematics will to Oxford bring
The 'cutest members of the betting-ring—
Law Fellowships will start upon their journeys
A myriad of unscrupulous attorneys—
While poisoners, doomed till now to toil unknown,
Shall mount the Physical Professor's throne!
To what a varied feast of learning then
Should we invite our intellectual men!
Professor Caseley should instruct our flock
To analyse the mysteries of Locke—
Barnum should lecture them on Rhetoric—
The Davenports upon the cupboard-trick—
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HEBDOMADAL COUNCIL.
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