w h o m he consorted called him " Darby." T h e Civic W a r d Elections stirred up considerable interest, and Kelly took a prominent part, but always against the nominee of M r . William Kerr. Kerr accordingly lost no time in paragraphing Kelly, and one morning Kelly was paraded as " Dirty Darby" before the readers of the Patriot. Kelly read and grinned (an ugly grinner he was) and bore; but he assured those in his confidence that the next time the unsavoury alliteration was repeated he would make it a warning for Kerr. T h e Patriot happened to have amongst its retainers a clever caustic poetaster named H a m m o n d , also an Attorney's Scrivener, between w h o m and Kelly there was no love lost. It was the time of a contested election, when small local partizanship was at a white heat, and again the offending Patriot m a d e its appearance with a H a m m o n d effusion of a low, nasty and vulgar type, thus c o m m e n c i n g — " M y name is Dirty Darby, and I came from sweet Erin, The land of potatoes, buttermilk and brogue ; And I grew from m y cradle so purty a bairn That the neighbours all called m e an ugly young rogue."
W h e n Kelly read this he gasped with rage. Hisfirstimpulse was to seek H a m m o n d , but a little reflection suggested to his legal mind that, after all, there was no evidence beyond suspicion that his fellow-clerk was actually the offender. Though H a m m o n d was, therefore, spared from prudential motives, Kerr, the editor, was not; and Kelly forthwith prepared for the punishment of that "burly miscreant," as Darby once eloquently designated him. T h e intending flagellator lost no time in hunting up a formidable cudgel, with which he posted himself, like a sentry, at the north-west corner of Queen and Collins Streets, an intersection traversed by Kerr en route to his office every forenoon from a cottage in Lonsdale Street, where he resided. Kelly soon beheld his man cumbrously waddling d o w n Queen Street, and moved under the Collins Street cover of a high paling—the enclosure of the Wesleyan Chapel, then occupying what was a Church Reserve. Here he waited with the club in both hands drawn back over his shoulders, ready for a smash, and just as Kerr, w h o wore big spectacles, was on the turn, Kelly letfly,but instead of the blow, as intended, scattering Kerr's brains about the footpath the aim missed so far as to strike Kerr on the left arm—already lamed by gout. T h e limb was m u c h contused, and Kerr, w h o was game to the last, after a loud grunt of mingled pain and indignation, closed with his assailant, and after a short tussle both wrestlers came to the ground, when they were dragged apart by the crowd which hastily collected. Kerr was borne off to the next druggist's shop, kept by a Mr. Wilson, where his wound was dressed and a restorative imbibed, whilst Kelly, with an unscratched skin, was surrounded by a body-guard of admirers, w h o regarded him as a conquering hero, and each rapturously drank his health at an adjacent tavern. Kerr, when brought to and able to move, hobbled away to the Police Office, surrounded by a howling rabble, w h o assailed him with execrations and questions of " H o w he liked what he got?" and promises "That it shouldn't be the last drubbing in store for him." At the hearing of the charge, a fine of only 20s. was inflicted, with costs. Kerr, in a loud, blustering tone, protested that as he could not obtain adequate protection from the Court he should take measures for his o w n safety, even to the shedding of blood. T h e amount of the judgment was immediately subscribed in Court. Kerr was tumultously hooted to the door of the Patriot office, whilst Kelly was cheeringly serenaded. the same year there was a Mr. Thomas A. Robinson, a well-known resident, w h o married the widow of a wealthy brewer, and had a good deal of time on his hands, with a liberal allowance of pocket-money to get through. Being m u c h about town, he got embroiled in occasional squabbles, and took it into his head to " h a m m e r " a m a n with w h o m he had an altercation. For this amusement he was not only fined, but shown up by the Herald in a stinging paragraph, for the paper and Robinson did not stand on the best of terms towards each other. Robinson forthwith determined to "hide" Mr. George Cavenagh, the Herald editor; and disdaining the employment of any other than a natural weapon, in the forenoon of the 23rd September, fist in hand, confronted his enemy in Little Collins Street, and committed an assault by suddenly turning round, taking Cavenagh from
ROBINSON AND CAVENAGH.—In
