24
Sh-sh-sh-show me--on my--way?
Nay, sp-e-eak I'll smoke thy bacon!
You have a t-ongnc, or I'm mistaken."
"Yes--that, th-that I-I-I-have;
But not for y-y-you--you knave!"
"What!" cried the stranger, "wh-wh-what!
Dy'e mock me? T-t-take you that!"
"Hugh! you mock--me!" quoth Hob amain,
"So t-t-take you--that, again!"
Then to't they fell, in furious plight,
While each one thought himself i' th' right;
And, if you dare believe my song,
They likewise thought each other wrong
The battle o'er, and somewhat cool--
Each half suspects himself a fool;
For, when to choler folks incline 'em,
Your argumentum baeulinum,
Administered in dose terrific,
Was ever held a grand specific.
Each word the combatants now utter'd,
Conviction brought, that both dolts stutter'd;
And each assum'd a look as stupid,
As, after combat, looks Cupid:
Each scrateh'd his silly head, and thought
He'd argue ere again he fought.
Hence I this moral shall deduce--
Would Anger deign to sign a truce
Till Reason could discover truly,
Why this mad Madam were unruly,
So well she would explain their words,
Men little use could find for swords.
--------
T H E W A G E R D E C I D E D.
Such little hopes I'd always found
Of gaining Betsy for my wife,
That I had wagered Dick a pound,
I should not win her all my life.
But, thanks to heaven! my anxious care
Is all removed--the knot is ty'd,
And Betsy, fairest of the fair,
Consents at length to be my bride.
To Dick, then, as in honour bound,
Well pleased, I hold myself in debt;
Thus, by the oddest luck, 'tis found
I lose my wager, win my BET.
