Page:Comical sayings of Paddy from Cork (1).pdf/10

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Tom. In all your travels when abroad, did you never see none of your countrymen to inform you of what happened at home concerning your relations?

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I saw none but Tom Jack, one day in the street; but when I came to him, it was not him, but and just like him.

Tom. On what account did you go a travelling?

Teag. Why a recruiting sergeant listed me to be a captain, and after all advanced me no higher than a soldier itself, but only he called me his dear countryman recruit; for I did not know what the regiment was w as when I saw them. I thought they were all gentlemens' sons, and collegioners, when I saw a box like a bible upon their bellies, until I saw G for King George upon it, and R for God bless him: ho, ho, said I, I shant be long here.

Tom. O then Paddy, you deserted from them?

Teaƃ. That's what I did, and ran to the mountains like a buck, and ever since when I see any soldiers I close my eyes, lest they should look & know me

Tom. And what exploits did you when you was a soldier?

Teag. Arra, dear honey, I killed a man.

Tom. And how did you do that?

Teag. Arra, dear honey, when he dropt his sword I drew mine, and advanced boldly to him and then cutted off his foot.

Tom. O then what a big fool was you ; for you ought first to have cut off his head.

Teag. Arra, dear shoy, his head was cutted off before I engaged him, else I had not done it.

Tom. O then Paddy, you acted like a fool, but you are not such a big fool as many take you to be, you might pass for a philosopher,

Teag. fulusipher, my father was a fulusipher, besides he was a man under great authority by law, condemning the just and clearing the guilty. Do you know how they call the horse's mother?

Tom. Why they call her a mare.