Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 18.djvu/256

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THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT

First Peasant. That, so to speak, carries the food into the preportion.

Cook. They are great hands at chewing,—it is just terrible! They don't know anything about sitting down, eating, crossing themselves, and getting up. No, they eat without stopping.

Second Peasant. Like pigs, with their feet in the trough. (Peasants laugh.)

Cook. God bless them, the moment they open their eyes they immediately want their samovár, their tea, coffee, or chocolate. No sooner have they emptied two samovárs than they want a third. Then comes breakfast, then dinner, then again coffee. No sooner have they rested than they begin to drink tea again. And then all the dainties: confectionery, jams,—oh, there is no end to it. They eat even while lying in bed.

Third Peasant. Well, I declare! (Roars.)

First and Third Peasants. What is the matter with you?

Third Peasant. I should like to live just one day like that!

Second Peasant. When do they attend to business?

Cook. What business? All the business they have is cards and the piano. The moment the young lady opens her eyes, she makes for the piano, and begins to bang. And the one that lives here, the teacher, stands and waits for the piano to get disengaged. The moment one drops off, the other one lets herself loose. Sometimes they put up two pianos, and two of them, and even four persons, bang away at it. They bang so that we can hear it here.

Third Peasant. O Lord!

Cook. That's all the business they have: the piano and cards. The moment they come together, they begin playing cards, drinking wine, and smoking,—and so it goes all night. The moment they get up, they begin to eat!