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LITTLE MR BOUNCER

"Why, what did he do?" asked Mr. Bouncer.

"What did he do?" echoed Mrs. Flabby, most solemnly, "why, he poisoned Victoria's mind, and led her to act towards me in the way that she did."

"What Victoria? You don't mean her gracious Majesty, do you?"

"Hush! not for worlds!" hoarsely whispered Mrs. Flabby, "people are hung for high treason! I should not like to see your head cut off for any indiscretion."

"I should n't like to see it myself, as Paddy would say," replied Mr. Bouncer. "So the Great Mogul poisoned Victoria's mind, did he?"

"Yes! he told her lies—base calumnies, as I can prove. It all arose from jealousy. I had written a poem, called 'The Plaintive Periwinkle: A lay of the Affections.' It taught an excellent moral, my young friend! Buy it for your children, if you can meet with a copy; but, I fear that Victoria has suppressed the edition."

"Why should she do so?"

"She was so jealous of me—of my fame as a writer, you will understand. But I was resolved to persevere, and to surmount all obstacles. A voice within told me that I should be ultimately rewarded by a nation's gratitude, and that generations yet unborn would grow up to bless the author of 'The Plaintive Periwinkle,' and to drop a silent tear over her gorgeous tomb in the Poets' Corner. As a beginning I had twenty millions of copies printed for immediate distribution. They were to be sown broadcast; thrown into cabs and omnibuses, and dropped down areas. Victoria heard of it!"

"Do you think," asked Mr. Bouncer, as though deeply interested in the narrative, "do you think that the Great Mogul could have told her?"