"My father is the Earl of Glenarvon; I am his only child; he has great estates which, if I outlived him, would be mine. They are joined by the estates of Lord Gurdon; and my father's cherished plan has been to unite the Gurdon with the Glenarvon estates. For that purpose an arrangement was made which betrothed me to Lord Gurdon's eldest son. I had known Philip Gurdon from a boy; but I could not love him. I never did love him. Ah! my friend, they cannot order the affections—they cannot say to them 'Go there,' or 'Stay here.' No! They are like the waves that are now murmuring in my ears, and no sovereign power, except the Great Supreme, can rule the mighty tide of love.
"My heart was not my own to give. I had entrusted its keeping to another. But, when my cousin, Captain Alvanley, proposed for my hand, my father would not listen to him; he had set his heart on marrying me to Philip Gurdon, and he would hear of nothing else. He is a kind father, and loves me; but he is cold and stern; and when I wept upon his bosom, he told me that I must marry as he wished me, and must forget my cousin. I pleaded strongly, and with tears; but in vain. Henry, also, had one more interview with my father, but was dismissed—even with insults. I was in despair—I had no one to counsel me, or speak words of hope; and in my wild grief, and deep, deep love, I consented to fly that night from my father's house, and be married to Captain Alvanley at Gretna. He was to bring a carriage to a private door in the park wall, and I and my maid (for I had confided my secret to her, and she had promised to go with me) were to meet him there. I made my preparations, and counted the minutes until I should be with Henry; but my maid played me false, and, at midnight, as I was preparing to leave the house, my father met me on the stairs. He upbraided me with my disobedience, and I fell fainting into my mother's arms. It was a terrible scene.
