Page:Cuthbert Bede--Little Mr Bouncer and Tales of College Life.djvu/72

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LITTLE MR. BOUNCER

examiner. He had, as usual, fallen back on the stock answer, and had asserted that some city, of whose geographical position he was densely ignorant, was aw—generally thought—aw—to be an—aw—island in the Ægean Sea; and he had also assured the examiner that it was—aw—generally thought—aw—that Troy was—aw—the capital of Italy; when the examiner, beginning to lose his temper, said—and, like the Verkus Boy of the song, he 'said it, and he said it with a sneer,' 'Perhaps, sir, you will be good enough to favour me with your opinion as to what country London is the capital of?' Upon which Broughton, as cool as a cucumber, hummed and hawed, and said, 'It is—aw—generally thought—aw—that it is—aw—the capital of England.' 'Generally thought, sir!' roared the examiner; 'why! was it ever doubted?' And then he plucked him. Alas, for Broughton! he was not like Adolphus Smalls, of Balliol, of whom—parodying the lines from 'Lars Porsenna' of Clussium,


It was more than three stout oxen
Could plough from morn to night


it was said,


He was more than three examiners
Could plough from morn to night.


No! poor Broughton, if he had been in tune for it, could have sung with the Oxford Plough'd Boy—


I am plough'd! I am plough'd! and the second time, too!
I 've got no Testamur; what am I to do?
Off, off, with my bands, and off, off, with my tie!
I am plough'd, I am plough'd, and I cannot tell why.
I read very hard the whole of last Term:
I worked with a Coach—in vacation was firm;
I went up to Town for a week, I confess,