Page:Dialogue between the Roman Emperor Hadrian and Epictetus the Philosopher.pdf/2

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Epictetus. To be born and to die.
Hadrian. What is best and worst?
Epictetus. Words.
Hadrian. What is that which pleases some and displeases others?
Epictetus. Life.
Hadrian. Which is the best life?
Epictetus. The shortest.
Hadrian. Which is the most certain thing?
Epictetus. Death.
Hadrian. What is death?
Epictetus. Perpetual security.
Hadrian. (again.) What is death?
Epictetus. A condition to be feared by no wise man; the enemy of all life; deity of the living; boundary of all relation; plunderer of children; an agreeable last will and testament; a funeral sermon; the last tears; oblivion of the dead; a burthen for the monument; and the end of all evils.
Hadrian. Why do we crown the dead?
Epictetus. As the symbol of his transit from life to death.
Hadrian. Why are the thumbs of the dead together?
Epictetus. That we may, after his apparent death, know that he is really dead.
Hadrian. What is a corpse-bearer?
Epictetus. A man whom many avoid and whom none can fly from.
Hadrian. What is a funeral-pile?
Epictetus. The final payment of debt.
Hadrian. What is a trumpet?
Epictetus. An incitement to battle; a camp signal; a call to the arena, to the theatre and circus; a mournful note for the funeral.
Hadrian. What is a monument?
Epictetus. A stigmatized stone; a speculation for an idle fellow.
Hadrian. Who is a poor man?
Epictetus. He is like a dry deserted well which every body runs.
Hadrian. What is man?
Epictetus. He is like a bath: first a warm one; then oil for him as infant; then a sweater when he is a boy; a dry heat when he is a young man; then a cold bath in old age.
Hadrian. What is man?
Epictetus. He is like an apple! which hangs on the tree until it is ripe; just our bodies fall when mature! more often while green!
Hadrian. What is man?
Epictetus. He is like a lamp or candle set in the wind!
Hadrian. What is man?
Epictetus. He is a guest; a lawful dream; a calamity-tale; Death's real estate; Life's delay; a thing which Fortune makes jokes of!
Hadrian. What is Fortune?
Epictetus. A noble matron, who whips her slaves!
Hadrian. What is Fortune?
Epictetus. The nearest turning post on the race-ground; a chance