CONVERSATION WITH NAKED ENGINEER 165
up to see what it was all about. The reporter took a few notes, wrote down the name of the injured party, and then ran on to the next excitement. Bender, feehng very proud of himself, went on his way, re gretting that he had not given the cabman a good thrashing. Presently he found he was near to the block of flats where Shchukin lived. He ran up the stairs two at a time and when he was near the top a splash of water fell on to his head. He looked up and a rush of dirty water poured on to his face. ‘ People should be had up for allowing such things,’ thought Bender as he climbed up to the top landing. A naked man covered with soap-suds was sitting on the floor with his back to Shchukin’s flat. His head was bent and he was swaying from side to side. Water was coming in a stream from under the door, and the man was sitting in a pool of water. He was groaning to himself. ‘ Look here,’ said Bender in an irritated voice, ‘ are you the idiot who is pouring all this water over the place ? What d’you want to take a bath here for ? ’ The man looked stupidly at Bender and began to sob. ‘ Listen, my friend,’ said Bender ; ‘ instead of sitting there crying, wouldn’t it be better if you got into a bath ? Look at yourself ! ’ ‘ The key,’ moaned the engineer. ‘ The key.’ ‘ What key ? ’ asked Bender. ' ‘ The key of the flat.’ Bender began to understand and almost fell down stairs with laughter which he could not suppress. ‘ You can’t get into your flat ? That’s easy enough.’ And carefully avoiding the wet man. Bender leant forward, poked at the lock with his thumb-nail, and the door of the flat immediately opened. The naked man got up, shouted with delight, and ran into the flat. The taps were gurgling, the dining-room was flooded and his slippers were floating
