192
DIAMONDS TO SIT ON
that cursed pen I You see, Pussy, how I suffer because of your damned chairs. What risks I have to take ! That huge pen with a Number 86 nib in the editor’s office fell on my back just as I was plunging my hand into the stuffing of the editor’s chair, and that’s how those figures got on to my back. And you ? You can’t do anything sensibly ! Who was it made a hash of that Iznurenkov business so that I had to go for the chair and put matters right ? And the auction ? And then the time you went courting a girl ? A nice time to choose, not to speak of the fact that it is dangerous at your time of fife. Really, Pussy, you must take greater care of your health. Now, I’m quite different: I got the widow’s chair; I got the two Shchukin chairs, and in the end I had to get hold of Iznurenkov’s chair. I went to the newspaper office and I got the chair from Lyapis. And you ? You have only brought one chair to a triumphant end, and that with the aid of our holy enemy, the priest.’ As he walked up and down the room barefoot. Bender was trying to knock some sense into the sub missive Pussy. The chair that had disappeared into the goods yard of the October railway station was still a black spot on their horizon. There were four chairs in the Columbus Theatre, but they seemed to be an easy haul. The theatre company was going on tour into the Volga district and were to travel on the steamer Scriabin. On this particular evening they were going to present Gogol’s Marriage, which was to be their last performance before leaving the town, and would be the last night of the season. Bender and Hippolyte had to decide whether they should stay in Moscow and follow up the chair that had disappeared into the railway station, or join up with the theatrical company and go on tour with them. Bender wanted to join the actors. ‘ Or shall we separate ? ’ said Bender. ‘ I’ll follow
