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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON
it was the easiest thing in the world to fleece a tourist of ten copecks for admission anywhere. By five o’clock he had collected six roubles, being helped in &is by selling tickets to several non-union people they all paid their money without a murmur, and one rosy-cheeked tourist said to his wife when he saw Bender : ‘ You see, Tania. What did I tell you last night . You said you wouldn’t need to pay anything for seeing the precipice, but that’s nonsense, isn’t it comrade ? ’ ’ ' Quite true,’ confirmed Bender. ‘ There’s a charge of ten copecks for union members. Children and soldiers of the Red Army gratis. Students five copecks. Non-union members thirty copecks ’ Towards evening an excursion of Kharkov militia men came up in buses. Bender grew alarmed and tned to pretend he was an innocent tourist, but the militiamen flocked round the great schemer ’and were quite ready to pay the money. There was no way of retreat, so Bender began to shout boldly : " Members copecks, but militiamen, students and children : five copecks.’ The militiamen paid their money after inquiring politely for what object the charge was made. , repairing the precipice,’ announced Bender lo prevent any landslides.’ While, the great schemer was having a busy time selling tickets to view the Malachite Pool, Hippolvte was standing under an acacia-tree, bent and huddled with shame. He did not look at the passers-by and kept repeating to himself the three set phrasesMonsieur, je ne mange pas. Geben sie mir bitte . . ' rLease help a former member of the State Duma.’ It was not that people did not give him anything' but they gave very little. However, he had manag’d to collect about three roubles in coppers. bv^thf passers by , the orchestra played various pieces by Strauss.
