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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

on to all the railings he managed to drag himself down to his room. ‘ Welcome, O brother proletarian of intellectual work! Brother of the broom, welcome! ’ cried Bender as he caught sight of the drunken porter. The porter muttered something unintelligible. ‘ Your porter,’ said Bender, turning to Hippolyte, ‘ isn’t up to much. How can a fellow get so drunk on a rouble ? ’ ‘ He can,’ said the pbrter suddenly. ' Listen, my man,’ began Hippolyte. ‘ Have you any idea what happened to my furniture ? ’ Bender was carefully holding the porter up, so that they could hear what he would say. Hippolyte was eagerly waiting for his reply, but all that he said in a deafening roar was : ‘ Those were joUy-olly-oUy days.’ Then there was an uproar in the room. The porter began to bellow a song as he threw himself round the room—now diving under the table, now banging him­ self against the furniture, and finally falling down on his knees. He was very merry. ' We shall have to suspend the cross-examination of witnesses until the morning,’ said Bender. ' Let us go to bed.’ They carried the porter, who by now was sleeping like a log, on to the bench, and they decided to share the porter’s single bed. Bender was wearing a red and black check shirt under his coat, but he was naked under the shirt, whereas Hippolyte was wearing two waistcoats, a shirt, and an undervest. ‘ You should sell me one of those waistcoats,’ said Bender as he looked at the bright blue one enviously. It would suit me beautifully. Sell it to me. ’ Hippolyte did not like to refuse his new companion, and, although he frowned, he agreed to sell the waist­ coat for eight roubles. Payment,’ said Bender as he took hold of the waist­ coat, ‘ shall be made on reahzation of the treasure.’