Could I have thought, ye beaux and belles,
- An orange would have so undone me —
Or anything the grocer sells,
- Could move my fair one thus to shun me?
All night I sat in fix'd disdain,
- While hornpipes numberless were hobbled,
I watch'd my mistress and her swain,
- And saw his paltry present gobbled.
But when the country dance was call'd,
- I could have cried with pure vexation.
For by the arms I saw her haul'd.
- And led triumphant to her station.
What other could I think to take?
- Of all the school she was the tallest;
What choice worth making could I make,
- None left me but the very smallest?
But now, all thoughts of her adieu,
- This is no time for such diversion,
Mair's Introduction lies in view,
- And I must write my Latin version.
Yet all who that way are inclined,
- This lesson learn from my undoing,
Unless your pockets are well-lined,
- 'Tis labour lost to go a-wooing.
Ludicrous Blunders.
General knowledge is unquestionably necessary for the lawyer. Ludicrous mistakes have frequently occurred through the deficiencies of some in this respect. A story is told of a barrister examining a witness in a trial, the subject of which was a ship. Among other questions, he asked where the ship was at a particular time. "Oh!" replied the witness, "the ship was then in quarantine." "In Quarantine, was she? And pray, sir, where is Quarantine?"
Another instance given by Mr Chitty, of the value of general knowledge to the lawyer, is worth citing. It is well known that a judge was so entirely ignorant of insurance causes, that, after having been occupied for six hours in trying an action on a policy of insurance upon goods (Russia duck) from Russia, he, in his address to the jury, complained that no evidence had been given to show how Russia ducks (mistaking the cloth of that name for the bird) could be damaged by sea water, and to what extent!
