"Fidelia—her mother," David repeated Jessop's words and how strange it was to say, "named her Sarah after my mother, she says. That's what you said, 'She says.' What did you mean by that 'she says,' if she is dead?"
"She said it in her diary. It appears that she kept since she was a child a most remarkably detailed diary. . . ."
The volumes of it were among the effects given to Jessop upon his arrival, after he had been sent for; he had read portions of it.
Fidelia not only had not gone back to Bolton but she had lost almost all impulse to return to him before she landed in England. "Except for a time when she must have been in tremendous upheaval on account of criticisms from your father and your family's refusal to take money from you while she was your wife," Jessop said, "and because of other agitations over 'Alice' and you, she undoubtedly remained in love with you. No one, reading her diary, could possibly doubt it."
She had finally decided not to return to Bolton even before she discovered, as she did soon after reaching England, that she was to have a child. She did not know then what to do.
"It is evident," said Jessop, "that she drifted, waiting for events; that was the sort of thing she always did."
Jessop related, "When the child was born she was ecstatic. She thought it gave her right to go back to you . . . then she was afraid to."
"Afraid?" said David.
