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MY GRANDMOTHER

“My dearest, my most honoured sir,” he began, on recovering his speech. “Oh that I had clapped the broad seal of our town-council upon my accursed mouth before I left Klarenburg! What nonsense I have been talking! What must you think of me, my dear sir! But by my great oath de fideli administratione, which I swore in council thirty years ago, I do solemnly vouch, avow, and declare, that in all I have said with regard to the matters of your honourable friend, I was animated by the very best intentions towards him; nor do I remember of a single word detrimental to or prejudicial to the memory of the late Mrs Milbirn, or by any interpretation offensive to your honourable friend, having escaped my lips. But you know what happens when men sit after dinner. The whole fault I am sure lies with the wine we have had to-day; which by the bye, our Jew of a landlord must surely have mixed up with some pestiferous ingredient, for scarcely had I begun with my second bottle, when I distinctly felt my poor tongue—which my oath and almost inveterate silence has kept tied up almost for years—run off at full speed like a horse frightened by a sudden explosion of gunpowder. Well, I will certainly take warning from this event, and use that unruly member a little more cautiously, though I should seal up my mouth like a very catacomb. But, good heavens! how could I know,—how could I ever imagine that amongst the strangers round the table yonder, there should happen to be the very proxy of our dear councillor himself!”

It was now my turn to quiet the alarm and soothe the feelings of the poor Recorder, who betwixt the wine he had drunk, and the handful of louis d’ors which he still held, and the consciousness of the mistake which he had committed, to say the least, looked very odd. I assured him I felt very grateful to my good fortune for having made his valuable acquaintance at so early a stage of my proceedings,—that his very accurate and extensive information would prove of infinite service to me,—and concluded by informing him that my