Page:Harper's New Monthly Magazine - v109.djvu/593

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THE HEREDITARY CLEANER.
547

air of gravity, "but perhaps you misjudge the Count. It is possible that he truly loves this maiden."

"Would he do—er—that if he did?" asked the King, with a simplicity that, though highly becoming, seemed to somewhat disconcert the Baron.

"I appeal to Sir Hugo Fugle," he replied.

"I am the last man to come to for any direct information on such a point," I answered, "but I understand that it might then be permissible."

"I am satisfied with your assurance," said his Majesty; and then, turning to the Count, "Do you love this girl, Count Zonnbiem?"

"Love?" exclaimed the Count. "Really, your Majesty, it is absurd to talk of love between a young man of birth and fashion and a girl of that station!"

"Then why did you do what you did?" asked the King.

"It is my custom," replied the Count, defiantly.

At this Gretchen burst into tears.

"What is the matter?" cried his Majesty, who had never witnessed such a phenomenon before and was naturally taken considerably back.

"Possibly she loves the Count," suggested the Vice-Chancellor.

"I sincerely hope so, for otherwise I shall have her severely punished," said the King. "Do you love the Count, young woman?"

"Indeed I do, your Majesty!" cried Gretchen—who, I am bound to say, could scarcely have answered anything else after the rather premature disclosure of his Majesty's intentions.

"Then," said the King, turning to the young nobleman, "you have deceived this unfortunate young woman, and you will have to marry her. That is the rule laid down in every treatise on the subject—is it not, Baron?"

"Certainly, your Majesty," replied the Vice-Chancellor.

"I'll be hanged if I do!" exclaimed the Count, impetuously.

"You'll be hanged if you don't," replied the King, with perfect sincerity and calmness.

On hearing these words, the royal executioner made an involuntary movement towards the front, and at the sight of this dreaded official the unfortunate Count realized for the first time how serious was the situation.

"I implore your Majesty to spare me this indignity!" he cried, falling upon one knee.

"Certainly," said his Majesty, in a kinder tone. "I have no wish to execute you, and if you are married by this time to-morrow I shall say no more about it. Only, you must get your wife to teach you to do your work properly."

"But, your Majesty, I mean—" began the Count.

"Silence!" interrupted the King. "I was going to give you some more advice, and now you have driven it out of my head. You must now consider yourself under arrest until your wedding is over. Come, gentlemen, let us return to our council-chamber."

Two days later a paragraph appeared in the Büngen papers announcing that a marriage had been solemnized between Count Seraphin Zonnbiem, Hereditary Cleaner to his Majesty King Fido of Regalia, and Gretchen Kopp, daughter of the late Johann Kopp, blacksmith in Büngen; and ever since then the palace windows have been kept in the very best of order.