Page:History and characteristics of Bishop Auckland.djvu/70

HISTORY OF BISHOP AUCELANB. 49 John died April 13, 1853, aged 81, and lies buried opposite the south transept of the Church of St. Andrew. On his tombstone is inscribed the following common-place epitaph : — Stop, traveller, as you pass by, As you are now so once was I ; As I am now soon must you be. Therefore, prepare to follow me. To complete the trio above mentioned, we had old Waller, who combined the oflSce of Master of the Workhouse with that of parish constable. In conjunction with Thomas Bowman, who was overseer of the poor under the old regime, WaUer was satirised by Ealphy Pearson* in the following couplet : — Waller's gin and Bowman's rum Costs the town a bonny sum. Who, that has any remembrance of this town forty years ago, does not recollect old Ealph, whose quaint rhymes, though short, oft had the keen wit of a Pinder or a Butler, and under which our wiseacres oftimes smarted ? Many wiU, doubtless, recollect the odd rhyme in which he immortalised five old worthies, all respectable and popular men, viz. : — Peter Fair let off Ms hare ; Squire Downs set off his hounds ; Bobby Mills jamp ower the hiUs, And Bobby Pow cried hulloow, hulloow ; Whilst famed Lowe HaU bet them all. Another contemporary of Pearson s, who was also his rival in rhyming, was old Francis Johnson, who held the office of Parish Clerk for a period of 58 years. These two old worthies offc met when in their " cups," and a war of wit usually took place. On one of those occasions old Ealph threatened his friend Johnson with the following epitaph : — Here lies old Rhyming Frank, Who, in bis life, played many a prank ; Not Burkitt's art, nor Bacon'sf plan, Could ever yet reform the man. An anecdote is stiU related of old Frank, which establishes his claim as a rhymester. It is recorded that he had a presentiment of his death^ and being on the spree at one of the urns in the town, he pulled his last sixpence out of his pocket and threw it into the fire, exclaiming, in his usual pompous style : — Nothing I brought into the world, Nor nothing FU take out ; Nor nothing 111 leave behind me For my friends to fight about. Among those of the last generation, who " kept the noiseless tenor of their way," must not be omitted Peter Fair, who was the town's first printer. Peter printed the first and only history of Bishop Auckland ever published, which was compiled by his father, in the year 1820. Many of our readers will recoUect his quizzical face and bright eyes sparkling with fun, peering from behind his counter like some old fresco, the quartos and folios lying around like stones about the ruins of some old abbey, himself being the guardian genius. " Give my respects to Peter Fair," said a celebrated public lecturer, when writing to a friend ; " I shall never forget his ^orderly-disorderly* shop the longest day I hve." But we are getting sentimental • This old worthy— whose weakest point was his love of a glass — had a small competence, which rendered him comparatively independent. Nearly the whole of his time was spent in visiting the various inns and places of public resort^ punning and satirising the celebrities of the town. He died on the 23rd of Jannaiy^ 1837, aged 85 years. Many of his squibs contain evidence of his ability at a satirist, but they are of such a grossly personal character that their insertion here would be scarcely prudent. t The two iiidividuals alluded to in the rhyme were the Incumbent and his Curate. t ^® ^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^* '^^ ^ years. Digitized by Google