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John Cheap the Chapman
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came up to argue the matter, running upon me with open mouth, but I gave her such a rout over her long snout, that caused her to rore out murder in her own language and alarmed the servants where they lay, who came to see what was the matter, I told them their old sow was going to swallow me up alive bid them to go and bring her meat, which they did, and the brute became peaceable.

On the Sabbath morning I came into the house, the goodman asked me if I could shave any, yes, said I, but never did on the Sabbath-day, I fancy, said he, you are some Westland Whig? Sir; said I, you may suppose me to be what you think proper to day, but yesternight you used me like a Tory, when you sent me into a stye to ly in your sow's oxter, which is a fitter companion for a devil than any human creature; the most abominable brute on the earth, said I, which was forbidden to be eaten under the law and cursed under the gospel: be they curs'd or be they bless'd, said he, I wish I had a-new of them' but' an' ye will not take off my beard, ye's get nae meat here the day; then, said I, if ye will not give me meat and drink for money until the Sabbath be past, I'll take on my wallet and go along with you to the kirk and tell your minister how you used me as a hog; no said the goodwife, you shall not want yonr crowdie man. But my heart being full of sorrow and revenge, a few of them sufficed me, whereon I past over that long day, and at night went to sleep with my old companions, which was not sound being afraid of Mrs. Sow's coming to avenge the quarrel we had the night before.

On the morning I went into the house, the goodman ordered me the pottage pot to lick, for, says he it is an old property to chapmen. Well I had no sooner begun to it, then out came a great big mastiff