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John Cheap the Chapman
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My next exploit was near Carluke, between Hamiltown and Lanerk: Where on a cold stormy night, I came to a little town with four or five horses in it; I went twice through it, but none of them would give me credit to stand among their horse, or yet to let me ly in their cow's oxter: At last I prevailed with a wife, if her husband was willing, to let me stay, she would, and sent me to the barn to ask him and I meeting him at the barndoor carrying in strae for his horses; I told him, his wife had granted to let me stay; if he was not against it, to which he answered, "If I should ly in his midden dib, I should get no quarters from him that night; a wheen lazy idle villans rins a' to be chapmen, comes thro' the country fashing fouks, ay seeking quarters: the next day ye'll be gaun wi' a powder'd pirrewig, and a watch at your arse, and winna let fowk stand afore your chapdoors, ye'll be sae saucy." I hearing thus my sentence from the goodman, expecting no relief but to ly without, yet I perceived when he came out of the barn, he only drew too the door behind him: So when he was gone, I slipt into the barn, and by the help of one of the kipples, climbs up the mou, and there dives down among the sheaves and happed myself all over, so that I lay as warm as the goodman himself. But in the morning long before day, two fellows came into the barn, and fell a threshing, that by their disturbance I could sleep no more; at last I got up with all my hair hanging over my face, and when he that stood on the opposite side perceived me, I made my eyes to roll, and wrayed my face in a frightful manner, so that the poor fellow supposed he had seen the d---l, or something as ill, gave a roar as if he had been sticked, aud out at the