Page:History of John Cheap the chapman (5).pdf/23

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JOHN CHEAP THE CHAPMAN.
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fellow lifting a pitcher of water out of the dam, ſo as he dipt it full and ſet it down on the ground, ſtaring at me he tumbled in himſelf out of ſight o'er head and ears, and as ſoon as he got out I ſaid, Yo ho friend, did you get the fiſh? What an a fiſh, ye b--h; O ſaid I, I thought ye had ſeen a fiſh when you jumped in to make it jump out: what a d---l ſir, are you mocking me? runs round his pitcher, and gives me a kick on the a-ſe, ſo that I fell deſignedly on his pitcher, and it tumbled down the bank, and went to pieces, his maſter and another man looking and laughing at us, the poor fellow complained of me to him, but got no ſatisfaction.

The ſame evening, as I was going towards the town of Linlithgow, meets an old crabbed fellow riding upon an old glaid mare, which he always a threſhing upon with his ſtick; goode'en to you goodman, ſaid I, are you going to the bull wi' your mare? what do you ſay ſir, they gang to the bull wi' a cow ye brute. O yes goodman, ye are right, ſaid I, but how do they call that he-beaſt that rides on the mare's backs; they ca't a cuſſer ſir, a well then goode'en to you maſter cuſſar. He rides a little bit, then turns back in a rage, ſaying I ſay ſir, your laſt words are war then your firſt, he came then at the flight; to ride me down, but I ſtruck his beaſt on the face, and in the short turn about, it fell, yet or I could get my pack to the ground, he cutted me on the head at the firſt ſtroke, I then getting clear of the pack, played it away for ſome time, till by blows on the face, I made him blood at both mouth and noſe; then he cried out chapman, we are baith daft, for we'll kill ourſeles and mak naething o't, we had better gree; with all my heart, ſaid I, and what will ye buy? nothing but a pair of beard ſhears ſaid he, and give me them cheap, ſo I ſold him a pair of ſhears for three half pence, and gave him a needle, then parted good friends after the battle was over.

So I went to Linlithgow that night, where I met with Drouthy Tom my ſweet and dear companion, and here