Page:History of the Haverel wives, or, The folly of witless women displayed (1).pdf/15

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Janet Clinker’s Oration.
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of none effect; nothing muſt be uſed now but thunder-bolts of reproach tartly trirrim’d up in a tantalizing ſtile, roughly redd up and manufactured thro’ an auld Matron’s mouth, who is indeed but frail in the teeth, but will ſqueeze ſurprizingly with her auld gums, until her very chaſt blades crack in the cruſhing of your vice.

I ſhall branch out my diſcourse into four heads.

Firſt, What I have ſeen, and been witneſs to.

Secondly, What I now ſee, and am witness to.

Thirdly, What I have heard, does hear, and cannot help; I mean the difference between the old women and the young.

Fourthly, Conclude with an advice to young men and young women, how to avoid the buying of Janet Juniper’s ſtinking butter*[1] which will have a rotten rift on their ſtomach as long as they live.

Firſt, The firſt tiling then, I ſee and obſerve is, That a wheen daft giddy-headed, cock-noſed, juniper-nebbed mothers, bring up a wheen ſky-racket dancing daughters, a’ bred up to be ladies, without so much as the breadth of their lufe of land, it’s an admiration to me, whare the lairds are a’ to come

  1. A nick-name to the wife’s daughter that no man wilt marry, because ſtuff’d full of laziness, self-conceit and ſtinking pride; or if ſhe be married, ſhe’ll ly like ſtinking butter on his ſtomach while ſhe lives.