Page:Hoffmann's Strange Stories - Hoffman - 1855.djvu/363

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CARDILLAC, THE JEWELLER.
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intention; and I can assure you, an inward voice, very different from that by which I was hitherto driven on like a furious beast of prey, from one crime to another, has now prompted me to this good action. Many times I am liable to strange moods of mind;—these come over me almost like a warning from another world, the apprehension of some horrible and yet unknown event, which seizes me so powerfully, that I cannot shake it off. At such times, it appears to me as if those deeds in which I was but the agent of a malignant and irresistible destiny, might be reckoned against my own immortal soul, though, in truth, that bears no share of the guilt. In a state of mind like this, I once resolved to prepare a beautiful diamond crown, for the blessed Virgin in the church of St. Eustathius. But, instead of deriving comfort from this design, I felt always more and more that indescribable terror and perturbation stealing over me, and though I frequently began the work, I could not persevere, but was at last obliged to give it up altogether. Now, it appears to me, almost, as if with an humble and contrite heart, I were to bring an offering to the shrine of virtue and piety, and that I shall obtain the mediation of a saint in my favor, if I send to de Scuderi the finest ornament that I have ever elaborated.'—Cardillac, who was well acquainted with your mode of life, now informed me at what hour, and in what manner, I was to deliver the jewels, which I immediately received from him enclosed in an elegant case. My feelings were now quite elated, and even rapturous; for I thought that Providence had pointed out to me, even through the wicked Cardillac, a means of escaping from that horrid thraldom and abject slavery under which I had so long suffered. Such were my private thoughts, and quite against Cardillac's plans and wishes, I determined that I would make my way to your presence. As the son of Anne Brusson, and your former protegé, I thought of throwing myself at your feet, and revealing to you all that had happened, well knowing that, from your goodness of heart, you would, on Madelon's account, have preserved invi-