later, I visited Artlett. His left eye was completely closed by an acute swelling of the lids, a strip of postage-stamp paper concealed what appeared to be a cut across the brow, while his head was swathed in vinegar-soaked rags.
"Ah! Mr. Kirtley was like to get his heart's desire last night."
"Whatever do you mean, Artlett? And, once for all, I must ask you to drop that absurd idea about Mr. Kirtley—at any rate, when you are speaking to me."
"I was near bein' burnt alive! I was lyin' readin' the Bible last night when the candle tipped over on the bed, and a-tryin' to pick it up again I pitched clean out on my 'ead."
"You must have had a job to get back again."
"Ah, you're right! It was a job, I can tell yer."
"You won't look in very good trim for the wedding," I suggested wickedly.
He leered at me suspiciously out of the corner of his eye; then, after a pause:
"Oh, my darter ain't goin' to be married yet awhile."
"No, no, Artlett," I persisted. "Don't be bashful. I'm talking of your wedding. How are you going to reach the church?"
"'Spose I'll get there some'ow."
I could see the old fox hardly relished the turn the conversation had taken, but I continued ruthlessly:
"I should think that the landlady will be able to get some sort of a conveyance from Stonewood for you."
"I've looked everywhere for it, father, and I can't stop any longer Oh, I beg your pardon, sir!" Artlett's daughter, a flutter of ribbons and cheap finery, burst in upon us at this point, to his evident relief. "How do you think he is, sir? He's lost his tobacco-box, but I don't think he ought to smoke—ought he?"
I remembered the prize I had secured in my encounter the previous night with the vanishing rustic.
"Here's one you can have," said I, pulling it from my pocket.
"Why, there it is!" exclaimed the daughter. "Wherever did you find it, sir?"
"No, it ain't! I tell yer it ain't!" protested Artlett vehemently, as I offered him the box which he refused to even look at.
"Yes, it is, father. Don't be so stupid! Why see!" she took it from me. "Here's E. A. for 'Ebenezer Artlett,' what you scratched on it yourself. Did you find it outside, sir?"
"I picked it up last night in the road. It must have been dropped by a man I ran into on my bicycle. Why, Artlett, could that have been you? How on earth!"
I felt bewildered as a rush of new ideas and suspicions crowded upon me, and stopped short. As for Artlett, he was clearly in a state of great excitement. His face had turned pallid; even the ruby of his inflamed eyelid had blanched, while he trembled so violently that the bedstead rattled.
"Have you nothing handy to give him—something warm?" I glanced to the hob, where a little pipkin simmered.
"Here, father—come now! Take this." She had dipped into the vessel, and was offering him a basin of steaming gruel; then, turning to me, "It's all he lives on now, sir, since he won't take the things from the Hall."
Artlett was tremulously waving her away, and as the girl turned to me I suppose in his agitation he must have struck her arm; anyhow, the basin slipped from her hands, and in a moment the scalding fluid deluged the bed-clothes, thin and flimsy as they were, that covered his shanks. Whatever the girl may have expected, I was certainly not prepared for the transformation which the accident effected. One moment a bed-ridden cripple lay before us; the next, with a yell of agony, he had bounded from the bed, and before either could move a finger to detain him, rushed madly to the door at the moment a well-dressed man appeared on the threshold. Turning short off with a rustic oath, the recent paralytic vaulted over the bed again with the agility of an acrobat, and darting through the back door, disappeared in the yard behind with his daughter now in pursuit. For a second or two the new arrival and I stared at one another in amazement; then as the full absurdity of the situation dawned upon us, we both burst into a roar of laughter, which at once thawed all formality.
The stranger was the first to recover his gravity.
"I think you are Dr. Wild's locum tenens?" as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I must congratulate you on the brilliant success of your treatment in unmasking an impostor."
"You know him, then?" I gasped, as soon as I had breath to speak.
"Well! My name is Kirtley."
